To think this woman had no right to tell my son off

[WobbleYourHead]

So we were in the car park of a supermarket often the subject of a MN thread when DS (9) had taken the trolley back to redeem the £1.
Being a bit of a monkey he was trying to put the trolley back "handle to handle" as opposed to slotting it in. I called across to him to put it in right which he did. In the meantime I jumped in the car and drove the short distance for him to get in the car.
As I approached a woman was telling him off saying something along the lines of he shouldn't have spoken to her like that....
I asked what he'd said and she said "He was being cheeky" so I questioned again what exactly he'd said & she just repeated that he was cheeky. So I told her she had no right to tell him off, she said she wasn't and the exchange went on for several minutes with her still refusing to tell me what he'd actually said!!
I asked DS again and basically she'd told him it wasn't nice for him to put the trolley back wrong so in return he'd basically repeated back "well that isn't nice" (her telling him) at which point she had a go at him!
AIBU to think that if she had an issue that the least she could have done was spoken to me but in the grand scheme of things there was absolutely no need for her to say anything to him at all?!

@Lurking his behaviour had been addressed by me, you know, his parent.

OP still not getting it then?

Ah well, let's agree to disagree then shall we.

But then I've raised my children to do as they're told by their mother & they haven't needed to be told off by strangers

How am I "not getting it" when I asked my child to stop doing something and he stopped only to then be told off again by someone else?!

I was appreciative if any adult intervened if needed, and then backed it up with telling my child off for doing whatever they were doing, to need to have been reminded about their behaviour. But then, I have brought my dc up to be considerate of others.
So considerate that you needed "back up" when managing their behaviour?!

My last post was in response to a couple of posters who were grateful of back up from strangers by the way.

I'm with you op.

Thanks @granny I thought that was the case.

Snorfle. Nicely done, Granny, chapeau!

Just wondering ?
To me it seems that this woman was quite some distance from the trolley area when DS was messing around with the trolleys.
Timeline.
OP shouts at DS (she has said she was parked a distance from the trolley area), DS puts the trolley back properly, OP, gets in car, checks on other children, starts car, moves carefully out of parking space, then stops to let this other woman cross in front of her.

Makes you wonder if DS was doing something else during this time, that OP can't see as she is driving out of a parking space/allowing the other woman to cross in front of her. I guess there could be up to 1 minute that DS has to amuse himself.
Maybe the "that's not nice" was directed at something else that he had started doing while waiting for OP to arrive ?
Just a thought ?

Yes, 'chapeau' Granny. I'd be thrilled if my 9 year old was whining 'you're not nice' to a stranger after having to be told off for being rude/annoying.
Big old chapeau there.
hat tip

If my kids needed telling off by a random member of the public I would be cross. With my kid.
Adults generally have better manners than to "backchat" so rarely get told that's what they are doing.

The missing minute, Simon! That must be the key! Is there CCTV footage available OP? Can you get on to the supermarket?

OP:
She had a perfect right. You were not there and HE was misbehaving and inconveniencing store patrons going about their business.

So considerate that you needed "back up" when managing their behaviour?!

Yes, because when they were still learning - say under 10 ? - they learned they had to 'do the right thing' whether I could see them or not. They learned that we live as part of a society, and as such, have to be considerate of others. It's not about 'being caught' it is about 'because that is the right way to behave'. Because they learned that as part of their growing up, they are thoughtful, considerate adults and teens now.

Loving the chapeau nonsense.

A bit of a monkey, is a minimising phrase.

The public has every right to tell off children if they're misbehaving and the parent is not around.

I told off a child for swinging on the metal bars that separate queues at M&S returns. It had gone on for five minutes and her rebound swing kept kicking my shins. Mother was nowhere to be seen until I told her precious offspring that the swinging was hurting me. Suddenly a crazed banshee splattered me with her ire. Almost ended in fisticuffs. I was right however, she was wrong.

Also never understood this - strangers can't tell my kids off attitude. All kids misbehave, no kid is perfect out of sight of their parents.

@Nina, were you there?! No?! Then how do you know he was misbehaving?

I reprimanded his behaviour and she refused to comment why she'd given him a ticking off.

I was there!!!!!

I enjoyed Granny's riposte to the people who wanted back-up from strangers in managing their own children's behaviour, Miaow, ma cherie. I've already said, several times, that the OP was right to reprimand her child for mucking about with trolleys, and make him put them back properly, the boy was wrong to talk back to the woman, (even if she was sticking her nose in to a situation that had already been resolved by the OP - some people love to express their views and don't have the benefit of Mumsnet to do so , bless them) and the OP should have got the boy to apologise for his bad manners and moved on with their day. I don't think you'd disagree with any of that, so I'm wondering why you're coming across as so very angry?

If your interactions with the woman were anything like your interactions with this place of course she wouldn't have wanted to engage. She would have backed away thinking "this one could blow at any second".