Save the date but no invite

[Spuddington]

AIBU to think this is a bit rude?

Save the date received for wedding of an old friend. She lives up north now but we see each other as much as possible.

Wedding is creeping up and I haven't actually been invited. At all. Isn't that a little rude??

Stunningly rude!!!

That's so rude and nasty.
I would distance myself and ignore any messages she sends (if she bothers sending any)

Start a vaguebooking thread about "so confusing about etiquette these days and so upsetting too".

Ask her. We've had invited to & from people get lost in post lately.

She has really shown you her true colours, hasn't she? I'm sorry you wasted time on this person and were upset by her.

Wow that makes her even ruder than before! its like she doesn't know what to say so she will just ignore and ditch you completely!

Urgh how rude of her. Glad you asked though. At least you got your answer...

Plan a fab day instead and post all the pics on Facebook

Do you have a friend who is invited who can casually ask the bride "is Spuddington coming?"

Happened to a friend of mine. It was an old school friend we don't see that much of getting married and a few of us were invited to the evening. One friend's invite never turned up despite being asked for her address for the invite by the bride. One of us who was invited ended up checking with the bride if the invite had gone astray. Turns out she'd been a bit of tw*t a couple of months earlier to one of the brides close friends and the bride didn't like it so didn't invite her. We told the friend she wasn't invited due to numbers.

Bet this B&G will write a big open "thank-you" letter on Facebook, having exhausted sprained?? their delicate hands with all the superfluous save-the-date cards....

Think of the money you're saving by not going to the hen and the wedding.

Cut her out of your life. She's a cow.

Clearly shes avoiding you. Tells you shes not a friend.

What a cow, time to dump her now. Sorry you wasted all that time on her, was no more time, she is not a good friend, how nasty of her.

That is so fucking rude! I thought save the date cards were followed up by the invitation? Those stupid cards are a waste of money and time. It makes the couple look like they got overexcited and invite everyone they know then can't host everyone. What a load of bollocks.
Anyway, yea I would definitely feel how you're feeling. I wonder how many others she's done the same thing to?

Post on her FB page with a photo of your STD and comment saying -

"Just checking that I haven't been uninvited (kidding, I know you wouldn't do that!) as we haven't heard from you yet. Can't wait for the big day but we need those directions and gift list first xx"

I had an STD for my goddaughter's wedding which was on a Friday and then was only invited to the evening do. Luckily it was easy enough to unbook the time off work

Or post the STD card on ArseBook asking if the whole country got one. Tell her you will be at home chanting "All hail the happy couple" since you saved the date. Await deluge of others who saved the date and didn't make the final list from this rude couple. Throw a #SavedTheDateSoLetsParty bash at your house and post the pictures. Make sure it looks more fun than the wedding.

Send her a "save the date" card for a random date/event... then never mention it again

I bet she was really pissed off when you texted her and more so when you WhatsApp as well! I bet she was just hoping she could get away with her awful behaviour and not be called out on it. She obviously has no conscience....

Having read the entire thread, I'd send her a public message on her Facebook wall saying "Hi - Given I can't get in touch with you and we saved the date, could you send your address over when you get a minute so I can at least send you the present we've bought for you?"

Given she's clearly a selfish cow that seems like it will peak her interest.

Then send her a lovely boxed wedding present... Scraped right off the bottom of your/a friends cat litter tray....

I would FB "Clearly no one explained to you that you only send STD to people you are actually going to invite, and not to everyone you ever fucking met just in case you need some seat fillers. Thanks for taking the piss."

Ignore me, got with what Flamingo said

"Remind me, why did you want me to Save The Date?"

I think I should write a book on wedding etiquette...or 101 things not to do when you get married, just based on MN threads.

Omg this happened with friends of mine - Friend 1 got a Save The Date, then booked flights for her & DH (destination wedding), but never got an invite.

Thought it was a mistake and didn't think much of it - all our mutual friends invited, got the STD, etc. Much later she text Bride re: a travel detail only to get the reply "sorry - there seems to have been a misunderstanding, only close friends and family have been invited."

Friend 1 says "but you sent me a save the date" to which Bride replies "prove it!" So Friend 1 does prove it. Then, a very long pause in the text convo before Bride replies "as you've booked flights, etc. you should come."

Understandably Friend 1 & DP had too much pride. They still used the flights, hotel, etc. and just had a nice holiday.

Red faces ALL ROUND.

Basically, it could be a similar sitch - she forgot she'd sent you a Save The Date and is now too embarrassed to own up to it. Possibly because she realised when planning that she had to cut numbers.

Whatever, it's shit :( but it happens!

Totally rude

Oh my goodness how rude!!!