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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Save the date but no invite

160 replies

Spuddington · 20/07/2017 19:30

AIBU to think this is a bit rude?

Save the date received for wedding of an old friend. She lives up north now but we see each other as much as possible.

Wedding is creeping up and I haven't actually been invited. At all. Isn't that a little rude??

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 21/07/2017 12:57

Oh gosh, she is going on her hen do without inviting you, and you sound like your close friends. Good on you for asking, rude rude rude.

SuperPug · 21/07/2017 13:00

"We received our Save The Date on xx xx xx. I would have assumed that we've been invited to your wedding but have now seen details re: RSVPs you've posted online. Would you mind clarifying? We have kept this date free for your wedding, following the card."

SuperPug · 21/07/2017 13:01

Aargh just seen the Hen Do update.
Screw it, bin the friendship and cut off contact.

Figgygal · 21/07/2017 13:04

Why did she send you a std card if not so you can keep free and attend the day? Wtf is she playing at?

Though considering she's on her hen without you sounds you think her more of a friend than she thinks you.

Dump and move on op

Mammylamb · 21/07/2017 14:50

I would ask your friend! Just after the invited went out for my wedding my brother contacted me as he, his wife and his mum (complicated family; my dads first wife is like an auntie to me) had not received their invites! I had sent them but they got lost in the post!

Flamingosarepink · 21/07/2017 15:00

" please remind me, exactly why did you wanted us to save this date? YOU SELF ABSORBED BITCH"

Flowersandfootballs · 21/07/2017 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeyroar · 21/07/2017 22:00

She could have flown pretty much anywhere by now and had the time to reply.

mygorgeousmilo · 21/07/2017 22:56

What did she say???

MintyChops · 21/07/2017 23:23

Unforgivably rude if she has done this. Perhaps it has dawned on her and she is agonising over how to respond to you....

Aeroflotgirl · 22/07/2017 08:58

Oh yes message her: I see everyone has RSVP to your wedding, I am still waiting for my invite after receiving the save the date card from you! Watch her squirm and dump. I think you saw her more as a good friend, than she did of you, for someone who you regularly take time out to see, and consider a good friend, she has treated you so badly.

RebootYourEngine · 22/07/2017 09:31

What is it with weddings that bring out the rude, cheeky, entitlement in people.

Were you invited to the hen do?

Svalberg · 22/07/2017 16:29

DH had a verbal invitation to the wedding of a female friend - date, city it was in, but no venue or time details. As it got nearer the date, we still didn't have a written invitation, he was anxious as to what to do, but I said to not bother her & leave it, we'd go somewhere for a day out (as we'd got the entire weekend free not having planned to do anything...) and forget it. So we went out somewhere a two hour drive from us, 3.5 hours from the wedding. Mid afternoon we got a call from the bride's ex, wondering where we were, as he'd been promised we'd be there as company for him! DH did tell him that we couldn't be somewhere if we didn't know where or when it was (good for him to be fair). Hope the message got back to the bride that you have to properly invite people to your wedding if you want them to turn up.

WeeM · 25/07/2017 06:12

Did you hear back from her op?

KoalaDownUnder · 25/07/2017 06:22

Whaaa...? Shock Who does that?

FruBayerischOla · 25/07/2017 07:45

The same year as Tidy's threads about Gluezilla, an acquaintance of mine had also received a STD but no wedding invitation. I couldn't help wondering whether it was Glue's wedding he might have been going to, or whether there was another rude bride that year!

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 25/07/2017 11:20

Another here who keeps checking for an update! The bride must have squirmed at OPs text. Hope she has time to update us!

Original poster
Spuddington · 25/07/2017 14:52

Sorry to have no real update for you!

My message went unanswered. She returned from her hen weekend and just hasn't replied. Sent her a quick "Hi" on whatsapp which she read and also ignored.

It's just going to be one of those annoying things isn't it?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 25/07/2017 14:56

Yep ora friendship that's over. Not because of no invite but the rude as fuck way she's gone about it.

elessar · 25/07/2017 14:59

Wow, how rude!

Friendship over without a doubt I think.

I'd be tempted to ring her (perhaps from a number she wouldn't have saved so she won't screen the call) and see how she tries to wriggle out of it on the phone - or at least write her a message on WhatsApp telling her how bloody rude she's been. She might not reply but at least you'll have made your point!

KoalaDownUnder · 25/07/2017 15:00

I would be so done with her. Angry

m4rdybum · 25/07/2017 15:04

I would ring her, so she can't avoid giving you an answer.

Although it's a shitty thing to do, it may be that they have ran out of budget and had to cut back numbers, etc - or something like that.

Much quicker to just ring and ask.

Questioningeverything · 25/07/2017 15:06

What a total bitch. Don't waste any more time or energy on her

Travis1 · 25/07/2017 15:14

Nah that would be it for me OP I'd be out. Screw her! How bloody rude.

livefornaps · 25/07/2017 15:14

Stunningly rude!!!

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