Save the date but no invite

[Spuddington]

AIBU to think this is a bit rude?

Save the date received for wedding of an old friend. She lives up north now but we see each other as much as possible.

Wedding is creeping up and I haven't actually been invited. At all. Isn't that a little rude??

Yes that's bloody rude then. Save the dates aren't for people you think you might invite.

I would send her a message asking how long you're supposed to be waiting to save the date for. Then stop being her friend.

If send her a quick message. If want to say something sarcastic but would have the guys to.

Ahhh guts

I'm pretty sure I've read a thread like this very recently (except the bride to be went and asked the non invited OP to decorate the wedding venue instead)

TidyDancer's wedding thread? That's a classic. And very similar.

I'd definitely ask her. Either she has meant to send you an invite and it's got lost in all the wedding admin, or she's a rude cow who deserves to be put on the spot.

Don't let it bother you, just don't go the wedding. Is there anyone else you could ask who is going the wedding, if they have had an actual invitation or just a save the date?

Must have gone astray, surely... why would they have you STD if you're not invited?
Yes, perfectly reasonable to ask them, given that they gave you an STD

I'd ask. Maybe she forgot to send your invitation.

Send a message. Probably a most understanding

Misunderstanding **

But if the OP had been invited the bride would have chased the rsvp.

Was just coming on to say bride clearly wants her venue decorated. Gluezilla, classics.

I'd have to contact the bride and say you are confused as to why you have a save the date card but no invite.

Very very rude!!

Disgraceful behaviour. See if you can get one of those rude cards that say I give it a year.

Oooh it would be so tempting to post on her Facebook page - "so I received your save the date card with excitement, booked the day off and am now wondering when I'm going to hear from you...???"

I always thought that STD cards were for very close family and best friends - the people you really, really, desperately wanted to be there. And then just wedding invites for everyone else, in the spirit of "we'd love to see you if you're free on this date"?

Astonishingly rude and she obviously has no shame about it either if she's posting on FB about everyone having RSVPd.

Send the text.

I'd go with early30s suggestion. Save the date means just that, it's not a wedding announcement.

As a bride I'd be mortified if I'd sent a save the date and not followed up with an invite 😱🙈 defiantly check in with her

Unbelievable behaviour! We only sent out STDs to those dead certs....

Have sent a text but she's jetting off on her hen party right now. I think that's what reminded me of the wedding and made me feel a bit shoved out.

Surely you'd just ask! It's not a big deal your invite probably just got lost. If not she's rude and is the one in the wrong.

I'm glad you have asked!