To tell you to *read* the fucking invite..

[Bitchfromhell]

Major embarrassment narrowly avoided and I'm cringing at what might have happened

Fancy wedding on Saturday, was so excited to get an invitation months ago. Have bought 2 outfits in the sales so can return the one I don't choose on the day. Booked the hairdressers for the morning, even lost a few pounds. We don't get many wedding invites these days and I love a good wedding so admittedly completely over invested

Checked the invite for timings this morning and realised we haven't actually been invited to the whole thing. Just the ceremony at 1pm and then the evening do at 7pm.

I've spent all afternoon imagining us wondering about the fancy venue looking for our seats for the breakfast, being whispered to quietly by the formidable mother of the bride that we shouldn't actually be there. God it would have been awful. These aren't the sort of folk that would laugh it off. We'd have looked like proper dickheads.

Anyway, lesson learned, always read the invitation.

Party at home for the in between bit btw.

SORTED. Great stuff OP! Still love @Blondielongie's idea of eating pizza whilst peering in through the wedding breakfast window though LOL!

Maybe they've been reading all the 'evening invitation only' slating on MN! People saying they don't care about the piss up in the evening they only care about seeing the ceremony.

Very very weird though, especially for people who aren't local. Strange.

You could say you got the date wrong and thought it was the week after. Don't think I'd put myself out to go after this especially if it meant travelling a fair way.

Could you sit at the back with a breakfast McMuffin? 🍔

I don't think it's clear (unless you've compared invitations with someone who is invited to the breakfast). I'd check... Not sure how though

We have an evening invitation and a note to say we are welcome to come to the ceremony for a wedding in a few weeks time. We have plans in the day anyway but it would have looks super odd and been a bit awkward when we just left and everyone went on to the venue for a wedding breakfast...

I went to one wedding where we were invited to the whole shebang - marriage at 1pm, scones and tea when we got back to hotel and no food till 7pm..............sit down three courses etc etc and beautiful food but 6 hrs on a mini scone and a cuppa was too much

Agerbilatemycardigan
Could you sit at the back with a breakfast McMuffin

And PROPERLY slurping milkshake hard and deep up a straw!

Alternatively OP, you could tell them you're going to be busy hoovering the cat.

Personally I think you're dodging the dull bit.

Bail out the ceremony but, crack on with the real ale bar

I would find that insulting.

No need to cringe too much about something that hasn't happened!

And I agree with a pp, if an invitation was so ambiguous (and rude) that your guests end up in that situation it should be the B&G doing the cringing, not you!

This happened to me 10 years ago - invited to ceremony and evening party but not the meal. We had to go to a crappy pub for fish and chips while the bride and groom were having their (presumably) lovely food, then hang around in a town we didn't know until it was time to show up for the evening. Thought it was rude then and still do now.

Here in the States, everyone is invited to the whole thing, or not at all. There is no A list and B list.

While my parents (American mother, British father) initially lived in the UK (where all us children were born), they married here in the US, and my dad's family were all quite shocked that everyone goes to the whole thing. My dad told me that my grandfather said of it, "good job it's not us paying for it then!"

On the other side, my American family are often aghast about the A list and B list thing, and feel it's incredible rude. I'm sure they'd be even more aghast if I told them people are now inviting guests to the ceremony AND evening do, but not to the wedding breakfast.

I got married in my native UK, and to keep my American family members who came over happy, I invited everyone to the whole thing. Not sure they'd have ever spoken to me again otherwise!

That's a long gooch bit of the wedding anyway. About 5 hours to fill between end of ceremony and night do = a lot of standing around with bot all to do, probably hungry.

DH and I have been invited to a Wedding ceremony in the day and then just evening do. We would have to take a day off if we wanted to go to the ceremony so decided just to go the evening do...was a little peeved (we've known them longer than most people going)...but it's their day and choice at the end of the day...we are getting a simple small gift nothing too extravagant as a thank you for the invite. Friends of ours have gone to weddings recently (family, colleagues, friends etc) and only been invited to Church and just evening do not wedding breakfast seems to be a popular thing to do.

At least you'll dodge the speeches OP! Dominos deliver almost anywhere I hear (they delivered to me by the beach once!) - maybe you could chill in the foyer at the reception eith you double pepperoni and family sized fanta and make all the other guests jealous?!

Even Pippa can't keep the public away from her ceremony!

www.ibtimes.com/pippa-middletons-wedding-open-public-locals-planning-gatecrash-ceremony-2529486

We invited evening guests to the ceremony. Mainly because I feel the most important bit of a wedding is ceremony and I don't like just going to the evening, I'd much rather go to the ceremony and none of the rest. Also, our evening guests were all local, so could go home in between.

All turn up en masse after your post-ceremony pizza piss-up and roll over to the real ale bar talking loudly about what a blast you've had that afternoon......

Can't even stand evening invitations. You are basically just spelling it out to guests that they aren't important enough to attend the whole thing but you would quite like them to make up the numbers in the evening. But this is even worse.
Didn't do any of the rude traditions for my wedding. We saved long enough and booked venues big enough to cater for everyone important to us. And anyone who wanted to bring a gift or cash was welcome to without us begging in the invitation (or writing a cringey poem).
I honestly wouldn't go if I was you op. Wear one of your nice outfits and book somewhere extra special for lunch instead.

So were there 3 separate invitations? One for the ceremony, one for the reception 'wedding breakfast' and one for the evening party?

So yours just says "wedding ceremony" and crucially not "and afterwards..."?

Well that's a new one on me! I've heard of the reverse, huge drinks party after the ceremony and only closest in the evening (like - on a large scale - the most recent royal wedding) or ceremony and family celebration followed by party at a later time / date....
I hope you get fed and watered in the evening!

Thinking about it when I was a teen we travelled to a wedding in Wales where there was ONLY a ceremony in the morning then an evening do. So we had several hours to kill.

Like Educ I have popped along to stand outside the church before when we are only invited in the evening (usually it's DC's friends who I've known for years) I've always asked if that's okay. Somehow that's different. At DD's wedding she told several of the Mums not to stand outside but come in if they wanted to and several did.