New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

She should not be thinking of going to parties with a 6 day old. Totally unreasonable and yes it's fine to judge, we all do including those who will judge you by criticising you for judging others ...

Ha so now we can judge what she's thinking now

God so not just her body and her choices that are wrong but any thoughts of some time with adults that doesn't involve talking about babies is wrong now too.. ..

Totally unreasonable and yes it's fine to judge

It's really not. How arrogant are you that you think you get to say what other people should and shouldn't do?

I reckon she'll be a total wreck after 2 glasses but if she wants to get out and let her hair down, it's not your place to tell her she can't.
Personally, my post birth plan involves soft cheese, a strawberry daiquiri and the star wars movie which is released a week after my due date.
Believe me, I'm going out with babysitting arranged within a fortnight. It's not clubbing, but I haven't done that in fifteen years anyway.

YEP - YABU. Put your judgey pants away

Bue

"Acceptable behaviour"?

Who the hell gets to decide what is "acceptable behaviour" for a new mother? Does she lose all rights to make her own decisions once she has given birth? Are you going to go round and tell her off? Ground her?

I think you should be there as a support to her. I can only speak for myself but I barely left the house alone for theee weeks as I totally lost my confidence and I had a bad birth so was recovering. I couldn't have considered giving up the chance for precious sleep either. But that was me. But I do think it's probably not the norm and maybe just be there as support. She may be absolutely fine and perhaps just wants to celebrate getting her body back and reconnect with her friends etc or she could be struggling. But you won't know if you don't support her x

Look at the hypocrites judging my opinion
Lol. As I said it's fine to judge and yes she should be at home with the 6 day old baby not partying. That's my option but I'm not judging those who object and have their own opinion

Look at the hypocrites judging my opinion

Sod off. That doesnt make anyone a hypocrite.

I don't think I could relax and enjoy hours of noisy clubbing so soon after. Just because my head would be filled with baby, worrying if they were alright without me, the fact that I couldn't hear my phone if anyone rang..that sort of thing.

After a few months I'd relaxed enough to party my head off.

Surprise surprise, this thread is on The Sun's site.

You appear to have misunderstood, ilovesouthlondon..

People are, correctly, criticising you for telling new mothers whether it's acceptable to leave their babies to go out. It would only be hypocritical if they were criticising you for doing that same thing. Criticising you for doing something else isn't hypocritical. The two actions are not sufficiently similar.

HTH.

I actually would feel offended, if I could be bothered.

If any of my friends had done the whole "You ok Hun?" At the fact I left my baby with my husband to do the yards alone, or pop to Tesco etc when she was a couple of days old, I'd be pretty hacked off.

It might not be common, but there's all stages of normal!! Amongst my pretty rural, farming/equestrian friends, it's not remotely uncommon to be back out doing stables etc with babies less than a week old. At all. Most of us have our babies settled in prams/slings/at home with their other parent within days and are back doing jobs.
Not all, and we don't bitch about those women, but nor do we expect to be bitched about!!

I was back out competing by 6 weeks. At reasonable level. I hate this bollocks that trusting my husband to feed and care for his/our child for a few hours when they are tiny means I'm weird.

And we wonder why we have whole threads full of women whose husbands don't pull their weight with the kids..........

I thinks it's weird because I hate clubbing and wouldn't have gone, even before I fell pregnant. But I understand that not everyone on the planet is as antisocial homely as me so I wouldn't judge her. Each to their own!

The Sun actually has a 'Mumsnet' section devoted to threads on here! So a journalist will start a goady thread on here, and then just lift it straight into there? How pointless, if people are interested in what is being discussed on Mumsnet then why not just come here?

Or do they go there for The Sun's misogynistic descriptions of us "mums".

And I didn't even get fucking quoted on there either

As long as the baby is in safe hands, she's perfectly entitled to go clubbing and get shitfaced.

That said, I'll never be able to relate to people who do things like this. What strange priorities people have. Seems so cold to want to leave such a new baby for this reason.

Also think dads who want to run out the door and get smashed for the sake of it, oh sorry 'wet the baby's head' , the second it pops out, are very sad.

Couldn't care less about hypocrites telling me not to judge by judging my opinion, then pathetically trying to justify their judgement. She should be at home with her 6 day old baby. End of...

Saying end of doesn't make you right.

There is no 'should' in this situation at all. All she should be doing is what she chooses to do. Your opinion on what another person should do or feel means absolutely nothing.

Saying end of doesn't make you right.

It does make you infuriating though.

Perhaps Drs should install their ankle trackers like when people are under house arrest ilove

God forbid a dad has the baby for an evening. The horror

Of course you couldn't care less about hypocrites judging you ilove, but the people judging you aren't hypocrites, so that has about as much relevance to this thread as it does to your arsehole. However desperately you might claim otherwise.

Hahah "end of".

A sure sign of a cunt. Fact.

There are things she should do though;

-Be careful with dancing and a vaginal tear,
-Be aware that your alcohol tolerance will be way down after 9 months abstinence.
-Avoid putting the baby in your bed if you've drunk a fair bit,
-Have someone sober to care for the baby in the night,
-remember you'll feel crap and tired the next day and will probably find it doubly hard looking after your newborn.

It hardly seems worth going.

Psychology is an extremely dubious science, because psychologists are humans and subject to the same dodgy cultural beliefs, to some extent, as everyone else. The 'finding's of psychological studies always happen to coincide rather well with what people in power want, for example.

And a woman leaving a newborn in the care of another kind, competent adult for a few hours once or week or so will do it no harm whatsoever. Anyone claiming otherwise is a dumbfuck who doesn't accept that women are fully human and have as much right to make their own choices as men do.

Psychology is not an extremely dubious science, what you just said can apply to any type of study.