New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

Every pregnancy is different.

Be a good friend, don't judge her, let her do what she wants, but don't let her out of your sight!

All this talk about her "mental wellbeing" do we have qualified professionals over here en masse? What are your qualifications apart from having a long judgey nose, to imply that a woman you don't know and have never met, is mentally ill?

Utterly ridiculous to act as if we all are completely floored by birth, and need to be "nesting". Im self-employed and was back at a pre-arranged 3 day contract within 2 weeks of giving birth.

MN is truly terrible for mental health prejudice particularly towards women "oh you do this? Your mental health is awry". Its abhorrent.

& the bullshit of so many threads complaining men don't step up to the plate, juxtaposed with women who sound as if they barely let men near baby, to help and feel men are incompetent anyway.

As if a new mum can't have fun, or must only do APPROPRIATE activities. Poor woman will know thread is about her if she sees this. Hopefully she will then ditch the 'friend' who has instigated loads of nasty comments about her. & also tell her man so he can tell OP to fuck off and mind her own business when she approaches him....

Has anyone actually been clubbing yet??

No doubt she's had a full night of wine with the girlies, train into London, few bars and then on to a warehouse party in Dalston followed by an after party in Brixton, all helped along with lashings of mdma, cocaine and ketamine, and it's all absolutely fine as it's up to the mum to decide how to spend her time and it might as well be anyone looking after the baby as the baby won't care and will probably be sleeping anyway

Oh shit if only some one had invented way to feed a baby whilst not being in the same room.....

It's almost like you would need - and I'm just spitballing here, it may not be gold - some sort of OTHER parent....man, that's a tough one...

6 days?! Jeez. I was still eating my lunch standing up, with an ice pack in my disposable pants. Add massive boobs like watering cans, crying every 2 minutes for no apparent reason and a shell-shocked husband...

Bloody well done if you can feel like a member of the human race, let along contemplate going clubbing! No seriously, bloody well done. I couldn't have done it!

Yanbu wtf clubbing when your baby is 6 days old? Get a fucking furby or something not a beautiful tiny human being who is 100% reliant on you.

100% reliant on you

Only if

(a) you are a single parent (which the woman in question is not)

or

(b) you actually chose to have a baby with an incompetent. In which case of course yes you are 100% responsible in "may as well be single" fashion; & have far more to worry about than picking apart what another mother and her DH, who IS looking after their baby, decide what is perfectly acceptable for their family

OP is simply sticking her beak in and no doubt won't show her 2 faces to her friend anyway

I left my baby in the hospital for about 10 hours overnight, from day 2 to day 7. He's okay, he survived, he was fed from expressed milk for those days and he breastfed until he was over 2. I'm sure some people see that as completely different because I didn't have a choice, but it really isn't. No lasting psychological harm is going to come from being left with someone other then mum for a night.

Where is she getting the energy when my first was born I was still finding it hard to just get my hair washed and dressed on the 6 th day!

See I must not be maternal because I could have easily left a 6 day old baby

Me too.
Totally missed out on the martyr gene. Still, kids turned out pretty fucking amazing even if I do say so myself.

100% reliant on you
Nope, they're really not. They are, of course, totally reliant on having someone care for them but as long as there is a loving, caring adult to do so, they're really not giving a crap who that is for the few hours mum is away

Only on MN would clubbing at one week postnatal be considered normal and acceptable behaviour 🙄

Innit.

740 posts on this thread? Before I opened it I though she must be clubbing kittens with a stick to have prompted so much outrage.

It's a really weird thing to want to do. Maybe she was joking.

Didn't we leave "clubbing" where it belongs in the 90's?

Couldn't think of anything worse personally. But clubbing can mean anything from a late night dancing to a drink/drug fuelled early morning leaving her in no fit state to look after her baby the next day.

One will impact on her baby, one won't.

Only on MN would clubbing at one week postnatal be considered normal and acceptable behaviour 🙄

And yet we heard earlier, from another learned commentator, that going clubbing so soon postpartum was dog rough. And MNs demographic skews disproportionately naice, as we know.

girlonmn I can't say it's normal or abnormal really.
I certainly didn't want to hold any of my babies 24/7 . I liked holding them to feed them, wind them and change them, etc, then I liked putting them down in their cot or pram for 2 or 3 hours to sleep while I did other things. That is normal to me, and amongst other parents that I know.
I don't know anyone who carries their baby round in a sling all day, doesn't get washed or dressed or go out of the house, or do other things that are considered 'normal' on mumsnet. A lot of things that people talk about on mumsnet sound pretty strange to me, and nothing like my experiences of having babies.

no exactly the same here.

I mean things did obviously change I'm not one of these people who refuses to change anything I do because of a baby for instance I would for the most part time things undid around feed times. Did t take much alteration more if she fed at ten I'd just want to either be where I was going for then and feed there or go after. That kind of thing. And obviously tried to be sensible 're where I went and what I did during things like potty training etc.

But I very much just put baby down. If she cried she cried I'm not carrying about all day or being kicked and squirmed up against in my bed all night.

I didn't even really no all these baby wearing non sleep training co sleeping people who never sleep or eat or bath existed til MN. I honestly know no one who had that either

Me neither. According to mumsnet I did everything wrong with my babies and yet I never found having babies a strain on me, my colleague who's doing a MN approved rearing is on her knees with her 14 month old.

She's doing what she feels is right for her which is fine. So is this mum which is fine. So did I which is fine. I'd just say I had a happier time - and my babies were happy too.

Mmm I think a lot of MNers don't necessarily get how much variation there is in parenting and how much demographic factors can make a difference to certain things.

We know that humans tend towards tribes. For various reasons I have an unusually wide social circle, and so my mum friends and acquaintances have spanned a large section of the class divide and also late teens to early 40s. There are some huge, huge differences. There are communities in the UK where mums getting out on the lash quite soon after birth is not particularly uncommon. I admit I've only ever known one to do it within a week, but I know several who were out the week after. MN really isn't representative at all. You only have to look at the income and housing threads to see that.

With that in mind, comments about weird and normal are not very insightful. Probably say more about the person making them than anything else.

clairewilliams999

Not everyone parties like you

How was the night out? Am betting that the mum had a lovely time and was home at a respectable hour.

It's one of my pet hates, drunken mothers! It's possible to have fun without alcohol, don't really understand this attitude that mums somehow deserve to get hammered if they choose to.
When you have children you just have to find different ways to let off steam. Kids are trying enough without having to deal with hangovers and alcohol cravings as well.