New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

I've never heard of the fourth trimester either. In my day we said "She's just had a baby".
It's a bit like calling putting your baby in a sling "baby wearing" or calling playing with paint and play doh "Baby led messy play".
I'm out of touch

Personally i would tell my friend she was mad to go clubbing so soon after having her baby. Maybe you could suggest a meal out or a coffee initially. But if she insists I would go with her and keep an eye on her.

Yanbu op. I'd be very concerned for her mental well-being. I'm all for nights out for mum's but 6 days after a baby you're knackered and bonding and should be resting. Plus presumably feeding through the night. Clubbing is insane, she sounds in denial.

Mums

It's not the going clubbing. It's not the leaving 6 day old for a couple of hours. It's the wanting to go out with a stitched up vagina! I had a laparoscopic procedure two weeks ago with "tiny" incisions and they really hurt until about three days ago. I hope op's friend appreciates the need to look after her stitches.
Btw op, I think you've been a great friend and totally get your concern. X

Having had a second degree tear myself, I'm honestly surprised so many people think the stitches would be a reason not to go.

My fanny was still burny 6 days postpartum, so that would have hurt dancing. But that was my vagina rather than the bit that had been stitched, which was the perineum in my case. The stitches themselves were alright. I wouldn't have been well enough to go for other reasons, but not the tear. Third or fourth degree tear different matter entirely, of course.

I went to a gig when my baby was 8 days old.

To be fair, she was 10 days early. I was determined to go.

Yanbu op. I'd be very concerned for her mental well-being. I'm all for nights out for mum's but 6 days after a baby you're knackered and bonding and should be resting. Plus presumably feeding through the night. Clubbing is insane, she sounds in denial

Gee you know so much does your psychic knowledge happen to.extend to lottery numbers? Would be a huge help

You have no idea if she's in denial or if she will actually spend the next 4 years without spending a moment apart.

Well, I can beat you Abithorn (not me personally). Someone I know gave birth in the morning and went to a party in the evening, leaving her (formula fed) baby in the care of her mum. Strangely enough, nothing terrible happened.
I'd probably have been up for it if I'd been given the opportunity. I'm one of those women who doesn't need to sit about 'recovering', pregnancy and birth wasn't an 'ordeal' in any way. A 'confinement' or any kind of 'babymoon' would have been my idea of hell.And the 'fourth trimester' is a something made up on mumsnet, like the '4 month sleep regression', as far as I'm concerned.

I think i love you no

Me too. Best post so far.

Newborns should be with their mum/dad ask much as possible. It's an important time for bonding. Clubbing with a six day old baby?? Not good!

Right so the 24/7 spent up til the night out and the 24/7 after mean like nothing because of a couple of hours away

Yes clubbing with a 6 day oold baby would be bad

They would have to wear little ear protectors

But he will be with his dad.

I vividly remember my mum going out clubbing when i was 6 days old. She left me to be cared for my dad. It hurt my tiny baby heart. Really hurt.

I became a very bitter and resentful 7 day old infant.

FFS

I think a fair few people on here need to go out and dance until the sticks fall out of their backsides. Who the hell remembers where their parents were when they were newborns??

According to this link, babies don't even recognise their parents' faces until around 2 weeks old. www.nhs.uk/Tools/Documents/Birth%20to%205%20development%20timeline.htm

We could have all spent the first week of our lives with the next door neighbour for all we know!

It doesn't bloody matter.

How long is she allowed to be away from her baby for? Is she allowed a long shit or to go to the gym? Or pop to the shop?
The baby won't end up in therapy with attachment issues if she spends 5 or so hours away from it.
What if she was ill and couldn't see the baby for 5 hours? Would that have life long consequences?
(I agree it's a little odd, 6 days after labour, but that's because I still felt like shit and I don't think we should judge other mums).

She wouldn't be able to though surely? Baby will need feeding every 2-3 hours...? I would judge away. Who would want to leave a 6 day old anyways and why? Strange! X

See I must not be maternal because I could have easily left a 6 day old baby. I didn't even want to hold my baby after giving birth, is that normal?
Don't mind to derail thread

She wouldn't be able to though surely? Baby will need feeding every 2-3 hours

Oh shit if only some one had invented way to feed a baby whilst not being in the same room.....

I personally wouldn't do it so soon but that's me.. not that I even felt up for leaving the house after I had my 2. I think my first night out after having my boy was 6 weeks and after having my girl was a few months x

That would be awesome giles

Have you thought of anything

Any ideas

Cheeseburgers?

thenightman

girl I can't say if it's normal but I was the same tbh

The pregnancy was a bit rough. I'd had a few appointments where honestly the news wasn't good and I'd been so busy trying to mentally prepare for the scenarios they gave me in case at some point there was a "decision" to be made and i was desperate to make sure i did the right thing.

What I hadn't actually prepared for was the birth of an actual baby. One that could be taken home and meet their sister. After everything it just felt like a really cruel trick. and I didnt want to hold her because i knew what would happen.if I did. I snapped myself out of it pretty quickly but I wasn't ready for it. Which sounds daft I know but it just took a little while to believe she was here and she was ok