New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

What I never understand is woman on here complaining that their babies dads dont do enough to help with the new baby and that they never have any free time to do what they want. And women sympathise and say men should step up.

But bugger me look at the responses here. A woman feels able to not be like these women that other women sympathise with and are condemned for it.

Make up your minds people.

I had DD1 and DD2 by the the time I was 23. I COULD have gone clubbing after both of them if I wanted to (I never clubbed).
I don't see the problem with leaving the baby.
As I see it 'going clubbing' has been perceived as dancing all night, getting trashed and being hungover the next day. And as nobody has a crystal ball this is a bit of a moot thread.

Having an involved dad has absolutely nothing to do with a woman going clubbing leaving her newborn at home.

Every time I see this title I read it as 'new mum clubbing' in the sense of 'seal clubbing'. Perhaps not entirely inaccurate for some of the responses.

Going dancing just sounds painful 6 days post-partum. Also, a week after DD1 was born I went for an hour's walk (felt fine at the time). That evening I had horrendous bleeding and backache. For that reason I would be suggesting that a sitting-down evening might be the better plan.

Not to mention leaky boobs that got so swollen they were square.

Or annoying drunken tossers bumping into you or spilling drinks on you.

I cannot see why the fuck anyone would want to go clubbing 6 days post-partum. I personally used to love it but I didn't half get pissed off at the drunken wankers stumbling into me. Bit different to an opera or a water-colour painting class!

If she can manage, why not? I was at Notting Hill Carnival 1 month after having DD1. She was with her dad...you know, the other parent. The sky didnt fall in.

If she can manage, why not? I was at Notting Hill Carnival 1 month after having DD1. She was with her dad...you know, the other parent. The sky didnt fall in.

Oh wait...are there now 'non acceptable' activities for new mums, as decided by self appointed judges? How long must you be 'just a mum?' No more nights out that's not being 'sensible' enough? Did you have partners that were utterly incapable of managing baby for an occasional evening/night? Oh dear. ..the list of things some women love to find to judge other women for, seems never ending. OP if her man or whoever is doing the caring doesnt mind then thats all that matters. Its none of your business. Its her family business. & as she's now a mum she may not drink alcohol. You are speculating to induce strangulation via extra-hoiked judgey pants by those who think its their business to decide a mum is just a mum until..who knows when. I suppose they do. I hope you let slip how you really feel on the night out and someone tells you to do one tbh. Youre being unpleasant about your friend.

How long must you be 'just a mum?' - I'd say two weeks is reasonable.

If a responsible adult is seeing to the baby I struggle to find a problem. I don't understand why others would
We don't al feel the same way about things or do it the same way and unless you're facilitating major neglect or abuse abused that child is taken care of I cannot see a problem.

It's just plain none of your business. Support your friend in what she wants, or don't. Not your place to judge.

Irresponsible and immature
Her responsibility is a little baby now she should put all that nonsense to one side

How long must you be 'just a mum?' - I'd say two weeks is reasonable

I'm a mum. I could never have left at under two weeks. That's me personally though. I did go for a night out at four months though

However I find it horrible that other mums can judge others and say when and what they should be doing.
The constant guilt tripping. There's no need. I wasn't breastfeeding by four months, and as mentioned upthread was out shopping round the local supermarket practically a few hours after giving birth.
Not everyone's "bleeding, torn and leaking."
Dads don't get this shit whenever they step out of the house.It pisses me right off.

Her responsibility is a little baby now she should put all that nonsense to one side

Yep, throw all sense of self out of the window once you're a mum. You cease to exist. Anything for yourself is frivolous nonsense. You're no longer "you."
FFS. Then we wonder why people suffer from PND when they're faced with utter twattish statements as this highlighted above.
Far more dangerous in my opinion to completely martyr yourself to mummydom.
Find a happy balance, having a few hours to yourself is healthy for both you and baby - happy/rested mum means happy baby after all.

Its not your place to have a word with her BF, OP. Talk about over-invested/crosding boundaries. You sound jealous of your friend. Who are you, her mum? Mind your own business and leave her BF alone.

Kidlorneroll

Why not?

Because shes a mum doesnt mean she isnt allowed a social life. If it was every weekend she was staying out fri-sat and leaving baby with someone then i would to give her the side eye

checkoutchick no need to hide thread at all, it'll be in the Daily Mail soon entitled "enbalmed 1950s husbands resurrect from the crypt cunningly disguised as 00s women" (a la Dr Who regeneration, perchance...?

If this friend is on MN she'll definitely know this thread is about her. Im surprised you're not miaowing at the moon, OP.

I think the point is when you are a younger mum there isn't really a recovery time. I know there wasnt with my first.

Yanbu it's a weird thing to want to do at a week past having a baby. I went to the supermarket for an hour when dd was 8 days old and dh was looking after her and I was pretty impressed with myself (and cried most of the way round for hormonal reasons!)

I think the point is when you are a younger mum there isn't really a recovery time. I know there wasnt with my first

And when you are a mum of more than 1 "recovery period " is just something delusional people who have never had a baby tell you.

Reality is more like a Craig David song.

Had a baby on Monday
Took the cat to the vets on Tuesday
Back down the school on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday.
Cooked dinner for the in-laws on Sunday.. .

Clubbing is like a spa weekend after that.

What is this gazing into new borns eyes establishing breastfeeding and 4th trimester they speak of....

In all honesty I would judge.

And if the roles were reversed and someone posted saying they were 6 days pp and their dp left them with the baby to go clubbing there would not be the same level of 'well the other parent is perfectly capable' as seen on this thread.