New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

Yeah... that's bollocks Cucking.

I can't really find the words to respond to that Cucking. It sounds like...well, bollocks to be honest!

Whats bollocks ??? As a trained midwife I don't understand what's bollocks ??? All my years training and 10 years delivering babies and giving ante natal and post natal care must all be bollocks - fair enough !

Why do women these days not want to nest and enjoy the newborn phase ?

Because it's ghastly to be 24/7 with a baby whose primary emotion is being unimpressed he or she isn't still in the womb, and whose primary way of expressing that is by wails, AND the new parents haven't yet learned to distinguish between the identical-sounding 'FEED ME!' AND 'I HATE THE WORLD!'?

Please explain what is bollocks ???

Wouldn't have left my baby because breastfeeding on demand. Plenty of time for clubbing.

Plenty of time left for clubbing that should read.

Most posters have given measured responses based on their own experience of childbirth. The general consensus being, It's up to her, I wouldn't do it for the following reasons.

Where are the nosey judgy arseholes?

I just think if you want to go out partying against medical advice then go but don't expect a round of applause or all your friends to cheer you on.

Nothing upsets mumsnetters more than anyone saying "Acrually, I felt OK a few days after giving birth. Yes, a bit sore, and needing to change sanitary towels quite often, but apart from that, I was fine". It infuriates people! I think it's seen as letting the side down

I get this feeling too. Contrary to common belief some mothers bounce back very quickly after giving birth. We aren't all the same!

I mentioned it on another post that my friend had a baby last year and on going to visit her a few days later you would never know she had given birth and she said she felt fantastic. A bit sore down below but other than that was back to her usual routine.

Not every birth is the same and whilst I respect that some woman obviously have traumatic births and longer healing times, that doesn't mean that it was the same for every other woman.

nature intends women to stay home as rest and the maternal instinct is primarily to allow mam and baby bonding time . It's also one of reasons newborns feed so frequently so that mam rests . Yes it's to build to supply but it's also a clever way to get mam to sit and rest and not move around too much when the body is in the recovery period.

How clever of nature. Luckily for me, I was having a lovely rest at the opera, many miles from my lovely newborn. Even more luckily, when I got home, he hadn't packed his little suitcase and gone off in search of a mother who liked 'nesting'.

Because it's ghastly to be 24/7 with a baby whose primary emotion is being unimpressed he or she isn't still in the womb, and whose primary way of expressing that is by wails, AND the new parents haven't yet learned to distinguish between the identical-sounding 'FEED ME!' AND 'I HATE THE WORLD!'?

This. Absolutely. Plus, you know, ruined life/body regrets.

Cucking You're a health care professional and you think that nature intends women to stay home as (sic) rest? Good grief.

May I ask for those who agree with going out and leaving a newborn did you breast or bottle feed ??? As I said earlier with my 2 babies I bottle fed I did go out and leave them with others but with my breast fed babies I hadn't no urge at all in the first couple of months to be away from my babies . I do think the way you feed has a profound effect on the maternal instincts and whether or not you feel you could leave baby for a short time . Iv witnessed this in my many years of work also . Primarily it is up to mam when she feels ready to go out . I couldn't care less if Norma up the street goes out 6 days pp but as a healthcare professional it is my duty to warn her of the potential harm she could cause herself . She is most probably going to be fine but I'd be a shit midwife if I didn't let her know the possible risks .

Somerville not forever in the first few days - goodness me talk about taking things way out of context !!!

I am not a very instinctive creature, really.

Go with her and help control any fall out. Be the taxi if she wants to leave.

And NO NO NO I don't think you should be confined to the house with your baby forever . I am talking about allowing yourself rest and recuperation after the trauma of birth for maybe a couple of weeks ! Goodness me people seriously twist things on here !! Iv tea to make so will bow out now and let you all argue amongst yourselves ! Have a nice evening everyone

What the fuck has it got to do with you op?

Are midwives advising postnatal women to stay indoors now? I certainly don't recall being advised to stay home or risk causing myself potential harm.

Rhubard I agree to a point. I think recovery is often quicker when you're younger. I had my first in my early 20's and bounced back in a few days; felt fine, flat stomach, I could cope with less sleep and I had the joy of a placid baby that slept a lot. People would say to me "I can't believe you've just had a baby!".
But you do still need time to recover.
(I didn't bounce back like that with my other babies when I was older though).

I do think the way you feed has a profound effect on the maternal instincts and whether or not you feel you could leave baby for a short time

You're suggesting that mothers who formula feed their babies feel less maternal towards them than mothers who breastfeed?

What a load of bollocks!

I can just imagine exactly what kind of midwife you are....

I do think the way you feed has a profound effect on the maternal instincts and whether or not you feel you could leave baby

BULLSHIT

Again thymelord you have twisted my words . I said I would advise a man who said she was going clubbing of the potential risks and let her be the judge of whether she goes out ! And yes I do advise my mams to rest when they go home as I would hope all midwives would . I don't know any midwife who would say "yes you go home and get the washing on , do a food shop then paint the town red " !!

Mother still enjoys life! The horror! Off to find my pearly so I can clutch them...