Page 16 | New mum clubbing

MrsG841 · 2017-07-20T08:04:17+00:00

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old. She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend. AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 14:45

Who knows, he may even look forward to it, appreciate it, enjoy it, be good at it or some combination of all of those.

Completely agree. If DH is happy, mum is happy, baby is happy, what exactly is the issue?

Edsheeranalbumparty · 20/07/2017 14:45

This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie.

Redhead17 · 20/07/2017 14:45

I'd louvre nothing more than dancing about with a ginormous sanitary towel on and leaky boobs.

I wouldn't go out no, not clubbing anyway.

Each to their own I couldn't be arsed but I had a c section and I'd assume smelly of milk and dancing in pigeon steps as it hurts wouldn't be a good look any way

BogQueens · 20/07/2017 14:45

I went to a Wagner opera when DS was eight days old, which given the length of it (Meistersinger) probably meant I was away longer than a night's clubbing. It was absolutely wonderful.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 14:46

Did it involve wine amd sunshine and pizza cos that's ok

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 14:48

This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie.

I think you've just defined mumsnet 😂

JoshLymanJr · 20/07/2017 14:50

Giles

I stand corrected...

2littlemoos · 20/07/2017 14:52

I don't know, I do think it is a bit odd and everyone I know would find it strange. Some would even think unacceptable.

I am shocked by the mass of posters who think nothing of it though. Surely if you was chatting to a new mum at a baby group and she said "yea I went clubbing a few days ago and had far too much wine" you would be shocked to say the least!

Being a first time parent is scary and I wouldn't have left my DP with baby for that many hours so soon and vice versa. But that's us.

KidLorneRoll · 20/07/2017 14:56

"This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie."

Oh, I see. Nothing to do with the possibility of other people having differing opinions. Nope, that can't be it. Secretly, we all think that the woman is the devil incarnate, but on an anonymous forum we engage non-arsehole mode. Makes perfect sense.

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 14:59

So OP, are you going clubbing on Saturday?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/07/2017 15:03

I bf Ds and still managed to go out, even though he refused to ever take a fucking bottle, little sod. Even left him with my mum one night in a flat in Germany to watch a gig

I can't help wonder how your mum coped Lana while you were out at clubs and gigs? She must have needed a night out to recover.

JoshLymanJr · 20/07/2017 15:06

Surely if you was chatting to a new mum at a baby group and she said "yea I went clubbing a few days ago and had far too much wine" you would be shocked to say the least!

I think you'd have to stock up on monocles if you were that easily shocked.

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 15:08

I can't help wonder how your mum coped Lana while you were out at clubs and gigs? She must have needed a night out to recover.

Yes because that's what she said she was doing.

She dared to go out without her son and on ONE occasion left him with her mum to go to a concert, shocking!

Honestly, people do read into things

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 15:09

but it's ludicrous to pretend things don't change when you have children. It's no longer about you, the children you have chosen to have do come first. It doesn't mean you can't work, travel, have sex or whatever, but it does mean you cannot pretend you are sill a single care-free adult. You are not. If you believe it makes no difference to have kids, then I am afraid you are a shit parent

Who's pretending anything? Leaving the baby with its other parent is not pretending you are a single adult. It's not shit parenting.

Just stop with the fucking JUDGING. It doesn't make any difference to you what other women do, so why do you give a shit?

BogQueens · 20/07/2017 15:09

This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie

Nonsense. As I said upthread, I left newborn DS with DH for about eight hours solo when he was eight days old or does it make all the difference that I took myself and my infected CS scar to a very long opera, not a nightclub? so I've done it myself.

The newborn stage is absolutely awful, IMO. You do whatever gets you through. I think DH went to a football match within the first couple of weeks too -- or is that different because he's male, and not supposed to be having a Sacred Mother Bond?

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 15:10

This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie

Just FUCK OFF WITH THIS SHIT.

Disagree with our opinions if you want, but stop fucking telling us that they aren't actually our opinions, you judgemental patronising harpies.

Original poster

MrsG841 · 20/07/2017 15:10

No i have politely declined

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsG841 · 20/07/2017 15:10

No i have politely declined

OP posts:

KimchiLaLa · 20/07/2017 15:12

Frankly pregnancy is a long journey and the poor woman probably needs a drink with her mate. Let her get on with it.

greendale17 · 20/07/2017 15:14

YANBU- I think it's odd and I would judge.

Meeting for coffee or lunch? Yes i can understand that.

Going clubbing- nope!

Huskylover1 · 20/07/2017 15:17

What so none of you have ever passed your baby to your dp and gone for a bath and a nap?

OMG, this is so NOT the same as going clubbing for 6 hours and getting shitfaced.

Nap in next room = wake feeling refreshed. Only in the next room, if baby is crying and the new Dad is feeling a bit nervous. Available to breastfeed if needed.

Clubbing = Totally away from new baby. Not in contact with Dad. Hugely hung over the next day, and most likely not in a fit state to parent a newborn.

ThymeLord · 20/07/2017 15:18

This is exactly one of those situations where online people will virtue signal about how non-judgemental, right on and sisterly they are, but if in real life were in the situation of the OP would be like WTAF and have a huge judgy pants wedgie

Given that I actually have done this, albeit 10 days after giving birth, not 6, you couldn't be more wrong with your statement.

coddiwomple · 20/07/2017 15:19

Disagree with our opinions if you want, but stop fucking telling us that they aren't actually our opinions, you judgemental patronising harpies

JoshLymanJr · 20/07/2017 15:20

Only in the next room, if baby is crying and the new Dad is feeling a bit nervous.

Sorry, but that's a bit patronising. Is 'Dad' only good for keeping a nervous eye on the baby for a few moments, after which he can gratefully chuck it back to Mum and get on with his day?

coddiwomple · 20/07/2017 15:20

when you think that in some countries you have barely been released from hospital 4 or 5 days after the birth...