Page 12 | New mum clubbing

MrsG841 · 2017-07-20T08:04:17+00:00

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old. She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend. AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/07/2017 12:35

It's a fair argument Giles. We're all speculating of course, this woman could be a great mum needing one night off.

Lots of club venues do baby raves now; Big Fish Little Fish, baby ravers and Having it Tiny. That might be an option when the baby's slightly bigger.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 12:35

Why would you be concerned though.

It does happen you know, some babies are actually born who eatbwell and sleep well from day 1 fall very quickly into a routine that's a far cry from day and night crying or permanently attached to a breast.

Some babies are quite happy to be out down with a mobile for long enough for a bath or a coffee.

She could he taking amazing care of baby and house day and night after an easy pregnancy and birth.

Are we saying that unless you are an un hairbrushed unbathed sleep deprived milk machine you are not being a mum?

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 12:36

I have said to her that it may be too much so soon after and thats when i offered the pub with live band so she can still have a dance etc but was told that is boring

Well she feels she's ready so go. Baby is with family so I'm not really sure what the big deal is...unless you might think she might be depressed?

MeltorPeltor · 20/07/2017 12:38

Do people really still go 'clubbing' these days? #outoftheloop

Louiselouie0890 · 20/07/2017 12:38

Don't speak to the BF I would seriously fall out with a friend that went to my DP I'm a grown woman FFS. If she's happy and the dad's happy what's the problem.

LouHotel · 20/07/2017 12:39

This thread is clearly going to end up in the Daily Mail.

LogicalPsycho · 20/07/2017 12:40

Just wondering, would everyone who's said "It's fine, stop judging", think the same if it was a Mother who'd adopted her newborn at birth, and then left them to go out clubbing 6 days later?
Or are adoptive mothers held to a much higher standard than birth mothers?

kaytee87 · 20/07/2017 12:40

God 6 days after I gave birth my boobs were agony, I was still trying to get the hang of feeding, couldn't sit down without wincing and felt dizzy if I stood for too long.

I'm strangely impressed by your friend....
I didn't want ds out of my sight at this age but if the baby is being left with a loving father and they're all happy then I suppose it's no one else's business.

Original poster

MrsG841 · 20/07/2017 12:41

I dont know if 'depressed' or just not thinking clearly and not understanding what a strain it could be...the biggest thing is she will get shitfaced and yes it is her choice blah blah blah but just not sure its the right thing with a 6 day old that was all.

I have never said i would stop her contuary to some of the comments being left i just asked whether it was 2 soon to think about going clubbing. I get its a release for some people and yes she can do what she wants and i never stated otherwise

OP posts:

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 12:43

It does happen you know, some babies are actually born who eatbwell and sleep well from day 1 fall very quickly into a routine that's a far cry from day and night crying or permanently attached to a breast

Mine was a fucking boob monster, was hardly ever off the breast, up till 1 still cluster fed a lot, didn't take a bottle at all after he left SCBU at a few weeks old, fed to sleep most nights till 3 yrs old, co slept till 4.5 and I still managed to go out to all sorts of places, including raves and gigs both with and without him. [shocked]

Are we saying that unless you are an un hairbrushed unbathed sleep deprived milk machine you are not being a mum?

Sadly Giles it seems we are ffs.
Apparently we are all supposed to experience birth and mother hood in the exact same way, and god help anyone who deviates from the sainthood accepted mother behaviours.

ThymeLord · 20/07/2017 12:44

11 days after my daughter was born it was my birthday. I went clubbing. I thoroughly enjoyed it and do believe I was "shitfaced". Not depressed, not mentally ill, no eating disorder, coping fine after a relatively easy birth. Wanted to go out and enjoy my birthday after a long boring pregnancy.

Going to go back and finish the rest of this delightful thread now!

Hudson10 · 20/07/2017 12:45

I wouldn't want to go clubbing whist still bleeding/healing from birth

Not everyone is still bleeding a week after the birth.
I was going round the local supermarket doing the shop the morning after giving birth!
Nothing to heal, definitely no bleeding!

Hudson10 · 20/07/2017 12:46

11 days after my daughter was born it was my birthday. I went clubbing. I thoroughly enjoyed it and do believe I was "shitfaced"

You shit mum you, for having a couple of hours to yourself.

joke by the way, lol

Starlighter · 20/07/2017 12:46

I'm normally the first to defend mums getting out and letting their hair down ... but what the actual hell??!! I can't imagine going out clubbing when my baby was 6 days old!!! Aside from being ok about leaving the baby so young, is she physically (and mentally) up to it? I could barely walk up the stairs and I was so emotional!

samG76 · 20/07/2017 12:48

We took the baby with us at 3 weeks! Cue lots of queries from the doormen about their 18 + days policy. But it was a private party in the basement of a hotel rather than a nightclub. I'm very pleased we went and the baby didn't seem to mind....

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 12:49

Not as if theres gonna be 36 weeks of long boring maternity leave to neglect your personal hygiene and be in your baby's face 24/7

minesapintofwine · 20/07/2017 12:49

Ok lots of us are basing our judgement of the situation on our own experiences but the reality is that everybody is different, this thread has proven that. You know your friend best so maybe she is more than up to it and as I said before,good on her if she is.

I think my own opinion of clubbing colours my view. I don't like it anymore, but maybe your friend LOVES it. She would probably find some of my hobbies a bit crap.

Do you all want to go op?

lana ok the op never insinuated that but it was implied by other posters in the 'boobs leaking, hernias etc' situation. For the record I don't agree with those posters I'm sure the friend would know if she was up to it. I've clearly come across as a twat in two of my posts now

ThymeLord · 20/07/2017 12:49

It's a bit late for social services, it was many years ago

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 12:49

Just wondering, would everyone who's said "It's fine, stop judging", think the same if it was a Mother who'd adopted her newborn at birth, and then left them to go out clubbing 6 days later?

Yes I fucking would.
My first thought would be "what an amazing woman for adopting a newborn" my second would be "she deserves abreak as much as a woman who has given birth- possibly even more"
So why not?

Although I get adoptive kids needs are diffferent, I'm presuming she has left the child with a competent parent/partner etc, like the rest of us would?
In which case wheres the problem?

ThymeLord · 20/07/2017 12:51

I wasn't bleeding either. Nor was I breastfeeding.

It's almost as if, brace yourselves, not everybody has the same experience. How bizarre is that!

XJerseyGirlX · 20/07/2017 12:53

My DD's dad went out to "wet the baby's head" 5 days after she was born. I (after such a horrible pregnancy) was so happy to finally have my body back wanted to go out and celebrate too. Unfortunately I couldn't as I was too poorly.

If your friend is feeling great that's amazing and good for her.
As long as the child is left with someone responsible I think your being a really judgmental friend

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 12:55

11 days after my daughter was born it was my birthday. I went clubbing. I thoroughly enjoyed it and do believe I was "shitfaced". Not depressed, not mentally ill, no eating disorder, coping fine after a relatively easy birth. Wanted to go out and enjoy my birthday after a long boring pregnancy

And wtf not??
You'd just dedicated your body to carrying a baby, why the actual fuck should you even have to justify going out in those circumstances??
Unless you stuck you r newborn in the bed with a vicious dog, and left them?

Huskylover1 · 20/07/2017 12:57

Does anyone feel attractive or energised enough, to go clubbing, at 6 days post partum??

She's going to need a big handbag, for all of her giant maternity pads and breast pads.

It's a terrible idea. And really weird!

mygorgeousmilo · 20/07/2017 12:58

Dads do this? My husband didn't, I didn't, and I would judge. A week old baby is the loveliest thing in the world, and I just couldn't have gone "out out" at that stage. I am not some kind of lowly, stuck indoors type by any stretch of the imagination, but there's a grace period surely? Where you just stay indoors or keep it simple with close family, walks to a cafe or park or something similar. She may have some particular circumstances though, so I wouldn't necessarily judge before being aware of what they may be.

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 13:02

i just asked whether it was 2 soon to think about going clubbing

yes,and the answer is it isn't for you to say whether it is too soon for her to be going clubbing. And it isn't for Mn to say, so it's a rather silly question to ask.