Page 10 | New mum clubbing

MrsG841 · 2017-07-20T08:04:17+00:00

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old. She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend. AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

EssieTregowan · 20/07/2017 11:46

So she goes out, gets drunk (which the OP says is the most likely scenario), chucks herself around the dance floor because she's pissed and over exerting herself, ends up with permanently separated stomach muscles, several hernias, ripped stitches, prolapsed vagina, engorged breasts followed by mastitis, and that's just fabulous because it was her choice and no one is supposed to suggest it's a shit idea?

Okey dokey then.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 11:47

And clubbing is not my thing bit if I wanted to go out somewhere besides a hospital for a few drinks and a meal I would have had every right

KidLorneRoll · 20/07/2017 11:47

Supporting a person's right to make her own choices and yes, perhaps her own mistakes isn't "right on".

It's "not being a judgemental arse".

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 11:48

Yes essie

She's a person not a dog she doesn't have to sit and shit on command

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 11:49

So she goes out, gets drunk (which the OP says is the most likely scenario), chucks herself around the dance floor because she's pissed and over exerting herself, ends up with permanently separated stomach muscles, several hernias, ripped stitches, prolapsed vagina, engorged breasts followed by mastitis, and that's just fabulous because it was her choice and no one is supposed to suggest it's a shit idea?

Are you not following? We aren't saying whether or not its a sensible thing to do, we are saying that whether it is or not IT IS SOLELY THE DECISION OF THE WOMAN CHOOSING TO DO IT.

And I think you may be just slightly exaggerating the effects of dancing, don't you?

checkoutchick · 20/07/2017 11:50

If the woman in question had just had surgery, would it still be a great idea?
Childbirth takes an amazing toll on the body. It isn't permanent nor bad, however/ you are supposed to rest.
No matter how 'easy' the delivery!
Damage to the body ( after birth) by doing too much is a well known fact.
In this case the Mum is young and probably fine- but the facts still remain.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 11:52

Quite frankly a few drinks in a club never with some dancing is probably a damn sight easier on the body than lifting washing baskets and babies in and out the bath and hoovering etc

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 11:52

If the woman in question had just had surgery, would it still be a great idea?

Nobody has said its a great idea. But yes, it would still be her own decision to do it.

Can you really not tell the difference between "this is a great plan" and "this is not our business"?
It's quite obvious.

EssieTregowan · 20/07/2017 11:52

But the OP is asking if she should suggest it's not a good idea. No one is advocating chaining her to the baby.

And a lot of people are saying she should butt out entirely. Why should she? To be all right on and girl power? Fuck that noise.

By the way I fucked my stomach muscles and have four painful hernias from picking up a toddler I minded at a week pp. God knows what damage throwing a few shapes would have done.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 11:53

It's not about being "right on" ffs.

It's about a womens right ot do things without being fucking judged.

It's her body, and her life, and if the baby is well cared for I really don't get why all the fucking judgement, unless as I said upthread it's a class thing?

Because clubbing is bad, but a different break for the same amount of time would be fine?

If she was stressed and having a spa day would you judge so much?

ANd why the fuck shouldn't a woman who has dedicated her body to nuturing a child for 9 months, get a fucking break for a few hours if she wants, regardless of whether the break is a massage, crocheting, a girly lunch with wine or a night out clubbing??

When I had a break while DS was in SCBU I would have fucking loved to have been able to go clubbing, but stitches and pain wouldn't allow.

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 11:53

To be all right on and girl power?

Can you fuck off pretending we have opinions to sound cool rather than having our own fucking opinions? Its really fucking rude and patronising, as well as wrong.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 11:54

I had to walk 5 miles a day doing the pre school runs

On top of house stuff. Clubbing would have been a doddle

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 11:56

For some people clubbing is the equivalent of a massage or 5 hours knitting a blanket.

To me it's a release.

Why is it so hard to understand the poor woman might just want a break for a few hours, and to her this is her relaxing place??

The baby is going to be well cared for by a fucking parent ffs.

I really don't see the problem.

EssieTregowan · 20/07/2017 11:58

I've already said upthread that she could be planning to go and knit lentils all night and I'd still think it was a bad idea. Throw alcohol into the mix and I think it's a really fucking stupid idea.

Anyway, I'm out.

But not before saying I WAS that parent, although it was six weeks not six days, and it was indicative of how much I wasn't coping, and a symptom of being in a shit relationship with a man who had been out clubbing every weekend.

I went out, it fucked up breastfeeding which never recovered, and it started a long period of PND and hating life.

checkoutchick · 20/07/2017 11:58

My god.
What silly responses.
The question the op had was should she question her friends choice.
If it were me considering it, ld like to reminded it was a daft idea.
There is a difference in suggesting a clubbing synario- to a wine bar even.
Clubbing suggests she wants to dance. Those of us that have given birth will know that isn't the best idea.
Six weeks wait to have sex.... but clubbing is fine.
It doesn't really matter about her choice people will do as they want to. The question was: should op be concerned?
Yes, to this particular night out
for the reasons listed!

checkoutchick · 20/07/2017 11:59

too l hope you aren't suggesting l used the term 'girl power'

toosexyforyahshirt · 20/07/2017 12:01

Then the OP should say no thanks to going along, nothing more.

Giles has a good point: when I had my last baby I was walking the school run, hauling a heavy toddler about, washing, cleaning, gardening...all within a days, weeks etc of birth. I don't recall anyone suggesting i would get multiple hernias and pnd, and all of it was a damn sight harder physically than wafting around a dancefloor having a drink.

Firenight · 20/07/2017 12:03

I would judge - a baby that age would be cluster feeding all evening and night and need their mum.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 12:03

Or a dad with a bottle fire

RhubardGin · 20/07/2017 12:04

How old is your friend OP?

checkoutchick · 20/07/2017 12:04

toosexy
Maybe l've always put more effort into my dancing?
I've been the Mum in your latest example- l take your point there!

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2017 12:05

Taht allowed you know. So mum's cab sleep and have their body back for a few mins

Hudson10 · 20/07/2017 12:05

How would people be reacting if she was suggesting going back to work at 6 days old. I know women that went back to work after 10 days, these women were applauded!

That's different though. You're allowed to go to work. Didn't you know though that if you're actually wanting to have a couple of hours for yourself once you've got kids you're a selfish/neglectful/lazy mum?! grin]

Hudson10 · 20/07/2017 12:08

It's not about being "right on" ffs. confusedIt's about a womens right ot do things without being fucking judged.It's her body, and her life, and if the baby is well cared for I really don't get why all the fucking judgement,

Well said. I hate the amount of judging mums get. They can't do right whatever they do sometimes, there's always someone coming along and sticking their oar in determined that they know best.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 20/07/2017 12:09

Clubbing suggests she wants to dance. Those of us that have given birth will know that isn't the best idea

But who are you to assess how this woman is feeling?? She might fancy a bit of a boogie, and she might feel up to it.

Not everyone's experiences of birth are the same you know?

There is a difference in suggesting a clubbing synario- to a wine bar even

But why??!

If I had felt up to dancing when the nurses suggested to me I needed a break, I would have been down my local rave like a shot!

Wtf is the difference?

Six weeks wait to have sex.... but clubbing is fine.

You realise this is beacuse most women have just pushed a baby out of their vagina?
And then putting something back in there might not be a good idea in case of infection?

I don't recall having to use my vagina to dance ffs!
I repeat.
If she feels up to it, whats the issue?
How is it different to leaving baby with Dad and going to Zumba, or yoga?