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AIBU?

To not understand why some parents get so scared

216 replies

TwentyYears · 18/07/2017 12:03

Why do parents of boys get so scared of giving them something they perceive may be 'girly'? What are they scared might happen?

Yesterday passed on a toy to a friend's DS, age 3 ish, that was branded with what I think is a character. Parent sees it as a girls character and was worried about DS's reaction!!!! DS loved it.

See this sort of thing happen all the time. School friends come to play and I can lay money on fact boys will say either 'Oh DD doesn't have girls toys' or (standing in front of science equipment) 'I don't play with girl's toys'. Once saw another 3yr old try to dress up in his sister's pink skirt and DF went crazy at him.

Feeling really sorry for boys at the mo. Why do parents think boys are in danger from 'girls stuff'? And what do they think would happen if they played with it?

(Name changed to post as have tried to ask this in RL but it seems to cause offence)

OP posts:
queenofthedump · 18/07/2017 12:09

I've never come across this.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2017 12:10

Well unless you're going to use the term some parents of boys, of course you're going to cause offence. Not sure there's any need to name change over it though.

As a parent of 3 grown up/teenage boys, I can honestly say I could count on one hand the amount of times I've experienced this over 25 years.

I'd say roughly the same amount of times I've experienced parents telling their daughters, they can't have that monster toy/dinosaur toy/Batman suit because they're for boys.

Silly really, but as I say, not something I've experienced much.

StickThatInYourPipe · 18/07/2017 12:10

Queen me neither tbh

lilyrosedaisy · 18/07/2017 12:10

I think (and I'm not saying I agree with this) it's often fear of bullying.

PsychoPumpkin · 18/07/2017 12:11

I don't get it either. I have boys & girls but we just have 'toys' that they all play with. There's a mix of traditional girl & boy things and they share.

My son has a soft little baby doll & his grandad' eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw him with it. He'd have hated to see him walking around in my eldest's princess costume & tiara Grin

pinkdonkey · 18/07/2017 12:12

My friend confided in me she worries about kissing and cuddling her DS too much incase it makes him soft he is 3! She said she has no such worries with her DD.

Starlight2345 · 18/07/2017 12:13

My DS had a pink pushchair when he was in preschool..However I have to say the toys that are marketed at boys I find to be much more fun.When I go and buys girls toys.I see rows of different kinds of dolls, stuffed toys. However boys also can only have so many cars..

MaddeningtheUnhelpful · 18/07/2017 12:13

My son has a dolly and buggy he loves it. A little old lady stopped and asked if I was worried by what it meant, I reaponded "What that he might be a fantastic father when he's grown up?" shut her up Grin

JacquesHammer · 18/07/2017 12:14

I have never witnessed this in person, however I have found it comes up a LOT on local selling/freecycle sites on FB for example.

"Looking for a buggy for a boy"
"Wanting a kitchen in boys colours"
"Looking for a slide, must be for a girl"

MargaretTwatyer · 18/07/2017 12:16

Never come across it either.

KC225 · 18/07/2017 12:16

I have boy/girl twins. So we had two dollies two cars, two buggys. DS loved dressing up when he was a toddler/pre school. We have loads of photos with him in tutus, feather boas etc. I'd let them swap clothes - anything to get them out of the door. Never had any negative comments, most people were bemused.

I met my friend yesterday and her 5 year old grandson he was wearing pink crocs (his favourite colour) and a about 10 of his little sister's hairpgrips.

NellieFiveBellies · 18/07/2017 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwentyYears · 18/07/2017 12:17

Worral good point, some parents of boys.
It's unfortunate it seems to be every parent of bots we know well enough to play together.

OP posts:
TwentyYears · 18/07/2017 12:17

*boys

OP posts:
MargaretTwatyer · 18/07/2017 12:17

And I have 3 sons. We often get pink dummies as they're the only colour in stock. We joke about confusing people on purpose and nobody has ever been horribly offended they have pink dummies.

WhittersE · 18/07/2017 12:18

You need to show them this.

To not understand why some parents get so scared
AuroraFloyd · 18/07/2017 12:19

My only worry now that my child is older is that unfortunately what he sees as normal may cause problems with other kids. e.g. he wanted glittery nail varnish on to go to a party, I of course let him but I felt the need to warn him what other people's reactions might be so he had a chance to think up his comebacks or own reaction to their nonsense without being put on the spot.

namechange20050 · 18/07/2017 12:20

I've come across this in real life. A friends husbsnd was horrified when their 4 year old son wanted a barbie. It was ridiculous. I've also seen it in relation to clothes, some parents of newborn girls would never put their baby in a pink handmedown sleep suit. Girls in blue is however fine.

gandalfspants · 18/07/2017 12:20

I think maybe they're scared their DC will get bullied or something if they don't conform to 'gender roles'.

I've not personally seen much of it (DD is only 10 months and I don't know many older children), but my 'D'M has already started making comments about her 'needing to sit nicely like a little lady' and 'dirty knees are not very ladylike', etc.

I tell her to stop being silly, but I can see how people end up taking the path of least resistance and start curtailing their DC's choices to ones that won't get negative comments.

DearMrDilkington · 18/07/2017 12:21

I will never understand this either.

I've only got dd but she has always been able to play with whatever she wants, her favourite thing to play is football and always has been.

If I ever had a ds then he could also play with whatever he wanted. I cant understand how a boy playing with babies would turn him gay, even if it did, I wouldn't be fussed.

My childs future sex life is nothing to do with me, its a shame other parents can't realise that. Or even be intelligent enough to realise toys aren't capable of turning children gay.

TwentyYears · 18/07/2017 12:21

Nellie I agree. Being mum to a DD it gets really boring trying to find non-cute sloganed clothes and a something without pink or frills. But it seems to have got a little easier thus year. Even managed to get some fun, BLUE, shoes for her this year Smile

But honestly I'm interested in what the fear is in giving a 3 year old something pink?

OP posts:
AuroraFloyd · 18/07/2017 12:25

Also, if you think trying to find non frilly pink clothes for girls is bad, then try finding clothes for a boy size 8 or above that aren't black, navy, khaki or variations thereof.

As a toddler ds had a lovely wardrobe of brighly coloured and patterned clothes. Now everything is boring or covered in minions/spider or bat man/star wars.

Foniks · 18/07/2017 12:27

Obviously its because they might catch the gay
It's a well known fact, if a boy plays with anything pink or with a cartoon princess on it, he'll catch the gay, and if a girl plays too much football she'll catch lesbianism. Duh.

LexieLulu · 18/07/2017 12:27

Ooh my dad (so my kids grandfather) did something like this.

My son, when he was very little, exploded out of his nappy. I didn't have spares and was with my friend with a little girl of the same age. I borrowed a dress off the girl so my son was dressed at least.

My dad was at my house when I came home (helping DH with some DIY), he went ape about how I was messing up my son's head and "he'll need therapy when he grows up".

He was under 1, he won't remember it. Hmm

Orangebird69 · 18/07/2017 12:30

I see a lot of this on pram specific selling pages on fb.

'Want a Flip xt. Anyone selling? For a boy, so no purple please!'

WTF? Confused

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