to want MIL to wash hands?

[archiesmummy]

Hiya all, I'm back on MN after quite a long absense. For you who don't remember me I have a DS who is now 15 montsh old (wow, where did all that time go?).

I was in te room next to the bathroom recently when MIL used the toilet and she never washed her hands and now I've become paranoid about it.

We are hardly ever there, becuase they smoke in the house, but sometimes (rarely though as I must admit to not trusting v many ppl with ds) mil comes here to sit ds and now I don't want her to touch him at all. Surely the bacteria will spread to my ds and can be dangerous?

She also wiped DS face with a tissue she spat on to get it wet before I had a chance to get a flannel.
And she let DS steal a spoon from a coffee shop because it kept him quiet and when I confronted her about this she said "They have so many spoons" (doh)

I think because of her lack of basic hygiene and morals she shouldn't spend too much time with DS but DH thinks I'm overreacting.

Am I being unreasonable? What would you do about this?

My dd runs screaming from me shouting 'purlease don't do that mum-lick!!' when i'm coming at her with a spat on tissue as we're on our way to school and only just noticed the weetabix on her cheek.

God this must be a joke though - or a bit of an ocd problem? Bit gross, but really, builds up natural immunity and resistance, can't keep your child away from all germs, not healthy either

not wasing hands after going to the loo - eeek !

spit on a tissue..not so bad

stealing a spoon...well, worse things have happened at sea , not like she took the entire dinner service and at 15 months he is hardly going to be aware, is he

sounds like you have 'ishoos' with your MIL that run deeper than this

i really think you are overreacting ! sorry !

not wasing hands after going to the loo - eeek !

spit on a tissue..not so bad

stealing a spoon...well, worse things have happened at sea , not like she took the entire dinner service and at 15 months he is hardly going to be aware, is he

sounds like you have 'ishoos' with your MIL that run deeper than this

i really think you are overreacting ! sorry !

If I was with my MIL I'd wash my hands in an obvious 'how clean am I way' though. When I am a MIL I wil probably do the spit on a tissue thing though. (Mine does things like that, but they are among the lesser of her crimes).

Lulumama

So good she said it twice.

meant YOUR not OUR mil! lol

That was a lot more answers than I expected.

I'm not a clean freak and don't carry milton with me or sterilise anything these days. But not washing your hands is not very sanatory and I don't want that around DS.

Not washing your hands after you've used the loo is foul, properly vile.

I wouldn't want vulva/anus germs on me - I'll cheerfully wipe Cod's lunch on my bum though, since she thinks it's poncey to mind.

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I've never not washed my hands after using the loo, because I have standards, Fish

E-Coli's pretty harmful, especially for a little one.

I have been made very ill TWICE by a lazy fucker who cooked for me after not washing his hands. He had the cheek to say perhaps I had a "weak stomach". Twat.

Actually I ask people if they have washed their hands before going near my dd's.

Earh makes me cringe

that is the most intelligent thing i have mustered up today sherlock !!!

Goodness, if Old Lady Spittle was dangerous, none of my generation would still be alive!

Unless she has TB or hepatitis I'd try not to worry

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did she do a poo or a pee? Maybe she didn't do either, maybe she was just checking her makeup, and flushed a tissue away?

I don't ask people if they've washed their hands before going near the DSs.

But I do set fire to people who I know are habitual offenders in the flush and go stakes.

You'd find many victims at a motorway service station I watch many people flush and go

You admit to not being very trusting about leaving ds with many people. Maybe thats the real issue.
MIL loves ds as much as you and will look after him to the best of her ability.
Let DH take you out so you can relax and see if you can leave DS with her for a bit.
He will come back in one piece!
I do agree with you about the handwashing though.
However my DS is 18mnths old and puts his shoes in his mouth, so I try and keep a wee bit of perspective about how much bacteria he is being exposed to!

Would you really ask everyone if they've washed their hands Hilary ? How old are your dcs. I could understand if a few weeks old , but after that, surely exposure to a few germs does them good.

How about if dcs hold onto a bar on the bus, that other people have touched, or touch a door handle etc, do you get`out the sanitary wipes then?

Kids should wash their hands before meals, imo, but asking others to wash their hands before holding kids?

Of course I would expect most people to wash their hands after going to the toilet...

Your 15 month old will no doubt be crawling or even walking by now. I expect he has put/ will put all sorts of things in his mouth that you will not be able to disinfect first. I think you need to relax a bit- for a start you don't know your MIL didn't wash her hands, you only think so. You don't know it wasn't a one-off.

If you make an issue out of this, then you will alienate your dh's family and probably him as well, do you really want that?

You eat a peck of dirt before you die!

Dirt, maybe, but difference between a bit of grubbiness and germs from shit.

We all have between 200-250 different species of bacteria on us at all times. In fact the other layer of our skin is actually protected by a layer of bacteria.

Bacterial cells on and in us, outnumber our own cells 10 to 1! (this is possible since bacteria are 1000 times smaller than our cells).

Excessive washing is actually harmful, since it strips our skins of this protective layer.

Washing after defication is a good idea, but I wouldn't get het up about it. Urine is sterile.