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AIBU?

To think someone never being in a relationship is odd

107 replies

scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:35

Why might this be the case I wonder?

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Balfe · 16/07/2017 21:36

Every person will be completely different and judging them all automatically will be of no benefit.

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Gemini69 · 16/07/2017 21:37

asexual

never lonely in their own company ...

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WonkoTheSane42 · 16/07/2017 21:38

So many reasons. Why would you care?

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LadyMaryofDownt0n · 16/07/2017 21:40

Anti-social
Gay but didnt want to tell anyone
Afraid of commitment
Odd ball

That's just the ones I know pretty well & that's their own words. However it is a bit strange & it's not often you'll find ppl like this. The ones I refer to are all siblings so I believe it was they way they were brought up that has ultimately shaped their views on relationships.

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user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:40

plenty of people are perfectly happy on their own. Why should everyone want relationships?

that is like saying not wanting children is odd.

it isn't odd not to want children, although many people do. It isn't odd not to want relationships, although many people do.

Everyone is different.

Why so judgy?

Are you jealous that they are so self sufficient and independent?

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:40

The thing is, this person does want children. I always assumed she didn't. But she confided in me this weekend she does.

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user1497435493 · 16/07/2017 21:41

It is a bit unusual to never be in a relationship yes. But then I think having no tv is odd, and so is not being able to drive, and so is not ever going abroad.

Some people think it's odd to not have children, and some people think it's odd to never have had a job, but I know people like this. People with no kids, and several people (all women) who are 55+ who have never had paid employment.

Anything that is different to the 'norm' is odd to someone or other.

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Balfe · 16/07/2017 21:42

You can want a relationship (and children) but still have no clue how to start a relationship or maintain one.

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user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:42

However it is a bit strange & it's not often you'll find ppl like this.

well, given that 1% of the population are completely asexual, and a further 2ish percent are demi asexual, I wouldn't say it is remotely strange, or a "not often" found situation.

That is excluding all the other reasons and preferences people may have for not wanting to be in relationships.

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Sparklingbrook · 16/07/2017 21:42

Is there going to be a gradual drip drip drip of information?

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:43

It's interesting that you say that user as she said herself it was like never having worked.

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RedHelenB · 16/07/2017 21:43

I was happy in the relationship I had but when that ended I've not really wanted another. Never say never but its not a top priority, my children are. I find it odder how others that have split up end up settling for the first person they meet most of the time.

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nancy75 · 16/07/2017 21:44

For some people it just doesn't happen & the older you get the more difficult it can be to find someone. When you end up as the single one in a group of married friends how do you meet people that are also single? Also the older you get the harder it must be to take the plunge

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:44

But presumably you had it helen, and had children from it.

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user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:45

The thing is, this person does want children. I always assumed she didn't. But she confided in me this weekend she does.

so, lots of single people have children.

maybe she is asexual. not wanting to be in a relationship doesn't mean you can't have children, or that you don't want to have children.

Single people adopt. Single people get fertility treatment. Single people set out to get pregnant,

all without partners.

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:46

She's not asexual.

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Groupie123 · 16/07/2017 21:48

Could she have been ashamed for still being a virgin? How old is she? Can she go on dates now?

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Hudson10 · 16/07/2017 21:48

To think someone never being in a relationship is odd

I can see how it happens. People used to think it was weird at school when I never went out with anyone, didn't have any boyfriends whatsoever.

A combination of being extremely shy and not just going out with any old loser just so I could say I had a boyfriend. Grin
Maybe some are just waiting until they find someone they click with and not just dicking about.
So with me, was 18 before anything at all happened. Even a kiss.
Can see how it can happen even later if they're the same as me.
now 20 years into a relationship with my husband who I met at 18

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/07/2017 21:49

YABVVU.Just because someone is different to you does not make them odd.
What a horrible comment.

Not everyone marries the boy next door or has men falling at their feet.

Some people just aren't interested. A lot are happy just plodding along on their own.

It could be deep routed issues. Say witnessing DV as a child.

Some people. Are just happy to have the occasional shag with no strings attached.

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:50

She's mid 30s ... she says she isn't attractive enough for dates Sad

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/07/2017 21:51

Shes confided in you.
I hope you didn't refer to her as odd to her face.
I think she needs to be careful who she trusts.

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scenesatthemusuem · 16/07/2017 21:52

I don't intend odd to sound negative, I mean, unusual, not the norm.

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Rockhopper81 · 16/07/2017 21:52

Does it bother you that this person doesn't want a relationship, but doesn't want a relationship?

It's totally possible to have children and not have a relationship - the two aren't reliant on each other.

Although I think her confiding in you might be misplaced if you think it's so odd - she clearly thought it was safe to share, but it seems on some level you question her decision?

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SeekingSugar · 16/07/2017 21:52

I think it's much more odd to feel the need for others to be in relationships- presumably to help yourself feel at ease. Bonkers!

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Rockhopper81 · 16/07/2017 21:53

Cross posts there, but basically what has been said.

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