To hate how fat I am

[fatbernie]

I know all I have to do is stop eating so much (so please don't give me diet advice. I've heard it a million times before).

It irritates me so much that no matter what diet I try I can't stick to. I lose a stone and then it's all back on. I even went a full 6 months on slimming world but eventually got bored.

It's not savoury food I crave. I make all my meals fresh. It's just I eat far too big portions and far too much sweet food. Today I've eaten a magnum, a mr kipling apple pie and an ice cream cone. My breakfast was scrambled egg on wholemeal toast and lunch was baked sweet potato with veg and chicken so my main meals are healthy but I eat so so much snacks it's unbelievable.

I can't stay at anyone's house because I feel like I'm dying of starvation when eating 'normal' amounts of food.

I walk a lot and enjoy walking. I walk two miles a day at least so that's one positive but I cannot stop using food as enjoyment.

I just eat when I'm bored. I would love to be slim but I never will be. I never have been since the age of 8 and I'd not even know how to eat a normal diet as I'd be starving!

Anyone else the same? I know it's acommon problem.

I'm only 28. I should not be so fat. I have a pretty face, I could be gorgeous. It's such a shame.

You need to walk 5 miles at least per day. That's about 1000 steps, which is the minimal amount everyone should do.

Also try to have one sweet thing lady thing in the day.

Personally I don't keep junk in the house because I don't want my family to eat unhealthily. They are all slim and eat well.

Last thing. Not lady thing!

I honestly think that those that say don't buy don't have. Have either always been thin or don't have emotional connection with food.

I've never smoked so I can't assume that's easy to give up nor would I tell someone else they aren't trying hard enough.

I think trying the cbt approach could be the way forward for you. X

I haven't said "Don't buy" but there are things that I don't buy because if I buy them it's like they are calling me from the kitchen "Eat me, eat me" and they are things that I will polish off the lot in one go.

There's a mental side and a physical side isn't there.
Of course you know that sugar is massively addictive, and the physical cravings are real.
But I would definitely recommend addressing the mental side too - CBT / hypnotherapy / support group / counselling.

I would say size 14 is not enormous by any means but the issue has probably overwhelmed you to the point you think you are bigger than you are.

Best of luck, you can do it x

I won't go into the psychology of weight loss, but 95% of people lose weight and gain it back.

You think a slim person has willpower 100% of the time? No of course not. Willpower gets weaker over time.

Read up on intuitive eating. That's the way to maintain weight loss.

But yeah sure sit and moan. Or actually do something about it.

I am exactly where you are op. I am overweight because I eat too much. I know that my apple shape means that I am a candidate for diabetes unless I do something about it... and yet I can't stop ..

I reward myself with food.. so if I have something to celebrate, or have had a stressful day, then I treat myself to something .

Like you I am reasonably fit for my age, but I know the pressure on my joints is going to have an effect

I am a sensible, intelligent woman in most other aspects of my life... I know that only I can fix this, but I just dont seem to be able to

This is SO me.

Although willpower is obviously important the reality is some people can actually eat more of the 'rubbish' stuff than others and outwardly don't appear fat. Human bodys can be categorized in to three different types: the endomorph, the mesomorph, and the ectomorph. If you predominantly have endomorph characteristics you will find it hardest to keep the fat at bay. Endomorph's seemingly are lucky and do not really get fat however find it hard to build muscle. My son is like this and can eat loads without any propensity to weight gain. I meet most of the characteristics of a mesomorph as does my daughter. I put on fat if eat a load of rubbish but don't find it particularly hard to lose weight even at 39, I just have to eat normally, I can still have the occasional wine, beer, Crisps chocolate and lose weight. I walk nearly 5 miles a day and find this with normal eating definitely makes me lose weight. My friends are quite surprised at this amount of walking but are all thin. So personally I do think 5 miles of walking is pretty good. If you have the endomorph body you have a bigger battle on your hand so it's unfair for people to suggest we are all equal in our battle with fat. Arguably that just isn't the case and the motivation is harder to keep going when you see others around you not having to go that extra mile.

The video Dibbles posted is spot on. Op it's not your fault. You're probably insulin resistant. Watch that video and then take a look at dietdoctor.com
There is a way to lose weight and keep it off.
You'll feel better.
It's not your fault.
It's sugar.
No need to exercise at all if you don't want to. You just need to understand what sugar does to our bodies.

I think you can see that stark difference even in babies. in my nct group, there was one very chubby baby - rolls of fat, my DD was small but muscular, almost appeared to have toned stomach as a newborn. She is now 6 and is still slight but muscular. The baby with rolls of fat is slim now but like his mum and dad has a tummy he's slim all over but has a gut. He doesn't really eat much because I think the parents work about his propensity to put on weight. This is not me being harsh or rude but it is an example of the body shapes that does determine alot more than we think.

Do my fitness pal - it will 'shame' you into eating well when you see on the app how many calories/much fat & sugar you're consuming.

MFP did that for me alright. It shamed me into feeling terrible about every calorie I consumed no matter what it was.

Same problem here ... the only solution for me was/is not eating any sugar or refined carbs. It seems they are addictive and also why we have an obesity problem.

It's hard, really hard, but it gets easier. I still relapse though but am trying to teach myself not to give up and binge then, but to pick myself up and start again.

I can't just eat a little chocolate or bread, I just want more and more.

I know it's hard though.

This is anecdotal but to follow on from my body types argument- I have most of the characteristics of a mesomorph and I am quite muscular this apparently is a good body type for sprinting. I only really do fast walking of about 5 miles a day for exercise and don't go running or jog, unless I'm late on the school run. My son was really keen for me to enter the mum's sprint at sports day, I wasn't keen but promised him last year and wanted to keep my promise. I was up against mum's that had lycra, thinner than me that had been to the gym that morning and 1 teacher who is 25 and very fit as she goes running etc, I came second out of 6 of us. It could be a fluke but equally it backs up this body shapes idea for me a bit more. One of the mum's I beat gets good timings in marathons so who knows. I looked in to this more as I initially wanted to know how or if it was possible for me to have 'pins' for legs rather than my fairly muscular straight up and down legs with not very attractive ankles. I've come to the conclusion it's not actually because I'm a mesomorph but certain exercises will make that less likely like lunges so I don't do them anymore.

OP, I was where you are throughout my teens, 20s and early 30s. Not very overweight - just a bit. Never more than 10k to lose, never more than a size 14. But fuck, I was miserable about it! I used to lie awake at night worrying about it and hating myself for it.

Now I'm a size 8, I weigh around 9.5 stone and I eat exactly what the fuck I want. I've maintained this weight, with minor fluctuations of not more than half a stone, for about 6 years.

Two things worked for me. The first was taking up running. It transformed my relationship with my body. Suddenly I was in awe of what it could do, I was having fun with it. And running is great for weight loss, obviously.

The second was low-carbing, which changed my relationship with food.

I really strongly disagree with all the posters who have said you need willpower to lose weight: if you rely on willpower you will fail and you will hate yourself for failing, and punish yourself for it with more food. The way to eat well is to not feel hungry, and low-carbing makes that SO easy. You can eat yummy things - cheese, buttery scrambled eggs, lots of good quality protein. There are protein chocolate bars available that are actually really yummy. You can make desserts with low-sugar fruits like berries and double cream. You can eat like a king.

I don't low-carb strictly any more - I have bread most days, and a few squares of chocolate, and too much alcohol. But not worrying about fat is totally transformative. You can eat delicious food! You're just not trapped in a sugar peak and trough cycle any more. If I put on a couple of pounds, I just cut back on the carbs for a few days and they drop back off so easily.

I'm pretty active: at least 12,000 steps a day. I have a Fitbit and I love it. That helps a lot too.

Anyway... epic post. You can do this. Be kind to yourself. You've only got one body and life is too short to hate it.

Have you had a blood test for thyroid? Have you also been tested for candida? Candida feeds on sugar and make you crave more. probiotics may help.

I weight about 12 stone

I think you're catastrophising. Sorry.

1. "...about how fat I am" I read the title and the first dozen yards of this thread assuming you were severely obese. As a PP points out, you're only about one stone into the overweight range.

2. If you want to be 9st 7 by this time next year, you will find a way to do it because just one year of deprivation is doable. Maintaining the new weight after that might be harder. Depriving yourself for four years because you had ten stone to lose would be understandably much harder.

Well I decided to weigh myself just to report back how overweight I actually am....and I'm not even overweight.

I have a healthy bmi! I am really shocked!

I weigh 11.5 stone and I'm 5ft7.

So borderline but within the healthy weight range.

I do feel I look very fat to look at though. I always considered I needed to lose three stone to look good.

5ft6 *

Well, there you go, OP. So you need to focus on a)improving your diet and b) increasing your fitness (which should have the pleasant side effect of making you more toned and therefore looking slimmer).

Get organised - go through your cupboards and throw out anything remotely junky. Do a shop of healthier options. Keep lots of fruit and low calorie 'treats' in stock at all times. When you feel that pull, have a piece of fruit. I know it sucks but it works. Make your lunch everyday in advance - to stop yourself from buying convenience food.

Allow yourself a rest day every now and then - for instance if you go out for lunch with a friend, order what you fancy and let it go for that one meal. Keeps me sane!

I also weigh myself every day - it really helps me identify where I'm going wrong, and also how much food I really need to lose or maintain my weight.

Track everything on My Fitness Pal, I find I don't want to ruin my track record for the day so it keeps me focussed.

It's all about finding ways to get into the right mindset for you. You will be able to do this, but most of the hard work is putting mind over matter.

Good luck!!

Your OP was probably a tad melodramatic if you aren't even overweight!

FWIW if you want to lose weight you need to a) be in the right mindset and b) stop making excuses.

I'm 5'8", 9st 7. I was 13st 7 but I've kept it off for ten years.

I don't buy crap. I don't keep crap in the house. I eat healthily.

I fall off the wagon occasionally but then I'm straight back on it because I know how easily I gain weight.

Weight loss is easy. All you need is a calorie deficit. But you have to actually want to do it or you'll keep shoving sugary crap in your body.

I'm shocked that so many think that people wearing size 14 are fat. No bloody way. I'm 5ft6, size 14 and am not fat. You're not fat OP. You eat way more than I do and you're only the size you are, you're lucky. I eat much less than you, walk every day and struggle to stay this size. Just goes to show how differently all of our bodies work.

What's the point of posting the thread if you're not ready to hear peoples' comments?