To hate how fat I am

[fatbernie]

I know all I have to do is stop eating so much (so please don't give me diet advice. I've heard it a million times before).

It irritates me so much that no matter what diet I try I can't stick to. I lose a stone and then it's all back on. I even went a full 6 months on slimming world but eventually got bored.

It's not savoury food I crave. I make all my meals fresh. It's just I eat far too big portions and far too much sweet food. Today I've eaten a magnum, a mr kipling apple pie and an ice cream cone. My breakfast was scrambled egg on wholemeal toast and lunch was baked sweet potato with veg and chicken so my main meals are healthy but I eat so so much snacks it's unbelievable.

I can't stay at anyone's house because I feel like I'm dying of starvation when eating 'normal' amounts of food.

I walk a lot and enjoy walking. I walk two miles a day at least so that's one positive but I cannot stop using food as enjoyment.

I just eat when I'm bored. I would love to be slim but I never will be. I never have been since the age of 8 and I'd not even know how to eat a normal diet as I'd be starving!

Anyone else the same? I know it's acommon problem.

I'm only 28. I should not be so fat. I have a pretty face, I could be gorgeous. It's such a shame.

I walk 2 miles a day on top of usual walking around the office, housework etc.

I don't use a pedometer and count my steps.

In terms of actual steps I probably do a lot more than 2 miles.

Both miles are uphill too. So two miles of steenuphill walking is a decent amount of exercise.

I have good muscle tone. Can walk for miles so I'm not that physically unfit. I can run for a mile before I'm out of breath.

I I was bought up doing sports so have always continued that way.

Some days I walk about 5 miles.

because who wants to deprive themselves of nice things FOR EVER in case they put on a pound?

no-one, but why do you think you have to deprive yourself.
Kate Middleton and Posh might be surviving on lettuce (might, I don't live with them), but apart from them you can be very slim, very toned and eat everything. Just stick to a slice of cake, not pig the whole lot.

Everything has been said before, but you can eat and be slim!

I think when you hit the point where something is making you unhappy but you can't seem to change the behaviour it points to a deeper problem. You need to explore why you eat before you can even attempt to address the eating itself if that makes sense.

I would be looking into counselling/CBT/over eaters anonymous and trying to get to the root cause because until you do that it's unlikely any diet/fitness regime will work for you. I'm massively overweight and know it's largely down to extreme inactivity in my case. That in turn is linked to my depression so I'm really focusing on trying to get (and stay) well and hoping that will unlock my ability to tackle my weight.

Dig deeper than the surface problem would be my advice, get support to unpick your relationship with food and try to resolve the root cause of your overeating.

I found that the only 'diet' I've ever stuck to was low carb high fat, it was the first time I didn't feel hungry, unlike most diets which restrict your calorie intake.

BTW your 'healthy' breakfast of toast and 'healthy' lunch of sweet potato are just carbs waiting to turn into sugar in your blood which in turn makes you want more, hence the snacking on sweet stuff.

all you've done op is put down everyone's comments.
Yes weightloss is hard and yes you will feel like a junkie going cold turkey for a while but it seems to me your not prepared to put in the hard work your just giving exscuses as to why you can't do it so I would say leave it till you want it enough because then you will find you will stick to it.

Sounds like sugar addiction. It can be broken, I gave up sugar and most carbs on Jan 1st and I feel so much better for it. It was hard at the start but I rarely crave sugar now. It is a tough one to beat but there is hope.

Like Trinity said, low carb high fat is working for me, I'm 6 months in and have never stuck to a diet this long.

User

Op made it clear she wasn't asking for suggestions

How fat ARE you OP? Are we talking 13 stone or 20 stone? I know you've said you don't want advice, so it's hard to know what to say. But I'm the same as you and looking back I've made a lot of progress over the 9 years since I left home, it's baby steps and a lifestyle change.

Do you know about the impact of ACEs? Do you have a high score?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/acestoohigh.com/2012/05/23/toxic-stress-from-childhood-trauma-causes-obesity-too/amp/

And for me I'm convinced some distruption during childhood (age 7-8) is the cause of my comfort eating/overeating. Started sneaking food during 2 house moves in 3 months (opposite ends of country so different schools).

I agree with SaucyJack

Watch this video (it's quite long) and you can make your own mind up.

x post with star!!!! Going to look at that link now.

I think healthy food tastes nicer than junk. You sound like you are addicted. Try overeaters anon, it's not normal to feel the way you do.

Read "Brain Over Binge" - it has some ideas that will help you to ignore the messages from your brain that you absolutely must eat those foods when they're available.

OP, I'll give you my opinion though it might be harsh. I used to be a size 12. I'm also not too tall so that was a lot for me. With a lot of exercise, healthy eating etc I got to a size 6-8, where I stayed for 4 years, then I was a size 10. When I noticed that weight was creeping its way back on, which was a month ago, I started going back to healthy habits (which I'll explain in a sec, though you don't want weight loss advice)

You don't want to lose weight (though you know it is unhealthy), you just want to complain how unfair it is. It is not OP, it's years of you bullying your body.

What I do-
-At least 2 workouts a week, normally 3 (at the beginning you have to force yourself to go, but you'll enjoy it. try zumba, great for beginners)
-drink water. (2L/day)
-eat plenty of veg, chicken, fish, turkey, beef. There's plenty of recipes online!
-snack on fruit. You'll see how that gives you exactly the sugar you need
-whenever I wanted SO SO BAD (yes, I know the need of wanting it but also wanting to be healthy and lose weight), I told myself: wait for 15 mins, if you still want it you can have it. I never did.
-have a cheat meal a week. A meal, not a whole day. That keeps your sanity.
-exclude for the first 2 weeks carbs completely (potatoes, rice, pasta, etc)
-motivate yourself. Find something STRONG to keep you going. What's your main motivation?

Also.... what you need is a complete lifestyle change, not a diet.

Have a read of this, I did see that you didn't want more advice, but honestly what is the worst that could happen if you read this? eatingless.com

I know you don't want advice but just think about this scenario. You carry on as you are for a fair few years not making any changes because there is no point it won't work. Your creeps up each year and you become 40 and are morbidly obese. One day you get excruciating pain under your ribs and you think you might be having a heart attack. You are relieved to find you just have gallstones and are told if you're lucky a low fat diet might help.

You give it a go but gallbladders are unpredictable things and before long you find yourself in a serious amount of pain (childbirth is a doddle compared to constant gallbladder attacks) so see your GP who refers you to a Consultant. But then you get a phone call, what's your BMI? You don't know as you haven't weighed yourself and are horrified to find your weight has crept up to the extent that you are morbidly obese and therefore not eligible to be seen at the clinic until you have lowered your BMI so are stuck with the pain and potentially the complications of gallstones which can be very serious and sometimes fatal.

A hypothetical situation for you which might not happen but if you don't deal with this now this is where you are potentially heading. Along with high blood pressure, potentially type 2 diabetes. Hard to see the funding situation with NHS getting better and who knows how things will pan out. I can promise you it is much much easier to deal with it at your age now than when 50 is fast approaching.

OP - Trying to deal with this at the physical level will be treating the symptom rather than the cause, which will almost certainly be psychological. Food is your attempt to fill a gap - and there's not enough food in the world to fill that kind of gap. Rather look at underlying, often unconscious, motivations - and that's best dealt with with some kind of therapy-based intervention. All the best.

PS I'm in a very similar position to you and it's helped me to feel better.

I am 5ft6. Don't know my exact weight as too scared to go on scales but I'm a size 14.

I weight about 12 stone.

If you have a pretty face and can feel good about yourself and love food I'd change the goal posts. Maybe you will always be fat but if you're healthy and look good who cares? You could get a goal of losing say 2 stone (not sure how much you want to lose) so you are healthier and look a bit better but don't beat yourself up thinking you have to be a size 10.

I think I'm just incredibly bored. It's so boring being a single mum. Little adult interaction.

The start of working full time can't come soon enough! Eating is a comfort for me now and I think I need it for my mental state. I'm hoping once I'm busier I will feel better.