To hate how fat I am

[fatbernie]

I know all I have to do is stop eating so much (so please don't give me diet advice. I've heard it a million times before).

It irritates me so much that no matter what diet I try I can't stick to. I lose a stone and then it's all back on. I even went a full 6 months on slimming world but eventually got bored.

It's not savoury food I crave. I make all my meals fresh. It's just I eat far too big portions and far too much sweet food. Today I've eaten a magnum, a mr kipling apple pie and an ice cream cone. My breakfast was scrambled egg on wholemeal toast and lunch was baked sweet potato with veg and chicken so my main meals are healthy but I eat so so much snacks it's unbelievable.

I can't stay at anyone's house because I feel like I'm dying of starvation when eating 'normal' amounts of food.

I walk a lot and enjoy walking. I walk two miles a day at least so that's one positive but I cannot stop using food as enjoyment.

I just eat when I'm bored. I would love to be slim but I never will be. I never have been since the age of 8 and I'd not even know how to eat a normal diet as I'd be starving!

Anyone else the same? I know it's acommon problem.

I'm only 28. I should not be so fat. I have a pretty face, I could be gorgeous. It's such a shame.

ragdoll why is ok to insult thin people by referring to them as "skinny minny's"? I was fat and now I am not because I don't buy junk any more.

fatbernie you're not actually that 'fat' if that weight is accurate. You only need to lose a stone or so to get into the healthy BMI category. That is achievable.
I suggest you get on the scales and get weighed properly. It's nothing to be scared of, it's your body and you need to face up to it. Even if you weigh more than you think you do it will be a shock, but it's something you need to take control of.
I also think you need to step up the exercise, not specifically to lose weight, but to get stronger and fitter and to get more in touch with your own body, so that you actually start to like it. Something like swimming, weights, something that is physically hard and pushes you.
And I also agree with those who say don't have junk food in the house. No one needs it, your family won't suffer if they don't have crisps and sweets every day. In fact, you'll be doing them a favour.

I've been really overweight for ages. When I got pregnant I got gestational diabetes and had to follow the NHS guidelines. Despite people online trying to push the latest diet fads on me the NHS guidelines served me well and I finished my pregnancy with relatively well controlled blood glucose levels and a stone and a half lighter than I was when I got pregnant.

There's no magic bullet, it's really fucking hard. Having a newborn is doing wonders for my weight though, going to the shop is a pain in the arse, I'm skint and anything I want to eat needs to be eaten with one hand.

I struggle with diets, I did slimming world for a while and hardly lost anything. I then joined the gym and went from a size 14 to a 8/10 within in 6 months. I make sure I exercise every day wether it's the gym, swimming or a long walk (though now it's summer holidays it's harder to do this). I eat quite a bit but I eat healthy during the week and at the weekends I eat pretty much what I like. I try and have bigger meals so I don't need to snack, if I do need a snack I try and eat fruit, cold boiled eggs or cold chicken. I don't buy much rubbish, my kids have a small chocolate bar and a packet of crisps each day so I keep the right amount in the cupboard to last the week so there's no extra for me to take.

It's obviously bothering you enough to post about it, so that's a good start. Why do you want to lose weight? What is the appeal of bring slimmer? I mean what is really appealing to you? Personally. When you imagine that you have lost weight, what do you imagine the difference will be in how you see your life? That's your motivation.

When you are ready, you will be ready. It's hard. It's taken me years and years to fully change myself and habits. I know I could slip back into old habits at the drop of a hat, so have had to find internal strength not to. Loss is something, maintenance of a loss is something else.

@Lovemusic33 - I got the same result by walking 10-20k steps a day, climbing, and stopping overeating. There are so many ways OP can increase her activity but it seems like she has just given up.

I think it's a bit like giving up smoking something has to happen to make you decide 'this is it'

You know what you have to do OP

It's not rocket science !

You aren't really doing that much exercise.
I can easily walk 5 miles a day. I do a hilly walk of 3 miles daily as well as round the house, shops etc and I'm 30+ years older than you!

I think you need to find what food is replacing in your life.
Are you unhappy? Bored? Is it comfort eating?

And yes, sugar is addictive.

Only you places the food in your mouth. Every time you do it you have a choice- to put in in your mouth or not.

I don't think you are being honest with yourself. Bottom line is you like sweet food more than you hate being fat.

I am the opposite. I was fat around age 11-13 and hated being fat.
I learned to curb my urges to eat and lost weight. I now make the same choice every single day. If I ate what my eyes saw and wanted I'd be fat. It's about willpower.

If you want to do it you can. You are making excuses. Sorry :(

Could you try hypnotherapy? It might help you break down the unhealthy behaviour patterns you have with food.

I'm another one who agrees with don't buy this kind of food. I could eat a whole packet of biscuits in one go so I buy them really rarely. I guess depending on who you live with this might be hard to do but perhaps speak to them about it?

I'm going to back up Koala's post. You need to do more exercise. How many steps are you doing a day? If it's less than 12,000 you aren't doing enough to lose any weight. You should also be breaking a proper sweat for at least 40 minutes two to three times a week.
I do at least 5 miles every day, a HIIT class twice a week and count calories using MFP and I'm slowly losing a couple of pounds every time I weigh myself.
I'd also suggest buying a book about binge eating/mindful eating.

You sound like you have a good understanding of what the issue is i.e. Sugar addiction. This is really hard to address but it can be done. I strongly suggest you stop focusing on the weight loss and start addressing what the mental and physical reasons are for this first. Then the weight loss can be addressed after.

You can get specialist psychology help on the NHS in some area, have you spoken to your GP?

Apologies haven't had the chance to read the full thread.

You can do it OP!

Instead of having sugar have protein and fat. Cheese, hard boiled eggs, veg sticks and hummus etc.

For the time being you could see your GP and ask about that medication that stops you absorbing fat? Apparently it's very popular.

While you get your head around how best to diet, meal plan, etc, it might be better than nothing.

For the time being you could see your GP and ask about that medication that stops you absorbing fat? Apparently it's very popular.

It gives you horribly offensive, slimy poo. The fat had to go somewhere and it just comes out of the other end. It's grim.

Addiction is addiction wether it's sugar/food/alcohol/sex/gambling I could go on

Think of it in those terms. CBT
therapy, a support group
Hypnotherapy

It's the sugar. My dieting habits were just like yours for years. It got to the point where if I wasn't on some miserable diet I felt guilty, while still getting fatter and fatter. I'd loose a little then put it all back on and more. At my biggest (18 months ago) I was 14 stone 11 pounds and I'm 5'2" and I started getting silent migraines. Which meant having to change my diet, the idea being keeping my metabolism stable, no caffine, alcohol, cured foods and no sugar highs. Every time I slipped up my brain punished me, so I knew when I'd fallen off the wagon. I now check food before I eat it. Anything above 5g of sugar per 100g is out of bounds. And it's everywhere! I went on the scales this morning and I'm 11 stone 10 pounds. I've still got a couple of stones to loose, but it's the easiest diet I've ever been on. I feel like I cheating, but I'm not, just dropping around 1 pound a week. I don't think my body has even noticed what I'm up too. I can't believe I put myself through those horrible diets for so long, it's just so unnecessary.

Purple I did not insult anyone

So skinny Minnies is ok? What if I started using Fatty Fredas for overweight women?

OP I feel exactly the same, I'm 5ft 4" and 11st 8.

I managed to get down to 9st 13 a couple of years ago and have since then been a size 14 losing & gaining a few lbs here & there. Clothes look shit on me, all the fat seems to be on my stomach and thighs. I know I need to stop looking at food as a treat after a crappy day but it feels good (admittedly a short lived feeling as once it's eaten that's it)

I've spent the morning batch cooking spaghetti bolognese, fish pies & egg muffins as I work long hours convenience food is my problem.

At the weekend I will happily have a healthy breakfast, lunch & dinner but then I'll add a bar of chocolate mid afternoon, an ice cream after dinner & maybe more chocolate in the evening.

At work there is more often than not cakes & chocolates doing the rounds. Despite having a bowl of melon or overnight oats in the fridge I rarely say no as one won't hurt will it? Except logically over a week it's way more than one!

I'm getting married next year and want to lose 2st the same 2st I nearly lost 2 years ago. Its hard & boring watching everything you eat, made harder that I don't eat much veg as I'm physically sick if I don't like it. Hoping the batch cooking will keep me away from a weekly KFC treat on a Friday!

PC gone too far people get insulted far too easily these days I haven't spoken directly to someone who is anorexic for example but generally to people who are skinny I have not and would not generalise about overweight people as most people like myself are overweight because they overeat now in some cases it is medical but not most. In people that are thin it is mostly exercise and diet and not medical at all i hate sweeping generalisations I'm automatically insulting people using skinny minny to describe myself.

purple I didn't read ragdoll as insulting skinny people. Just saying when she was one she thought it was simple to lose weight. So calling herself skinny rather than anyone else or saying there was anything wrong with people who were skinny.

My seemingly stroppy punctuation was a mistake. Re diets try contacting any of the big companies and ask for data on long term weight loss.

I really do sympathise - compulsive overeater here.
I'm a sucker for dessert too (and huge greasy main meals as well- I'm just bloody greedy frankly)
I know you said you don't want advice - fair enough - but can I offer a suggestion just on the off chance?
Buy yourself a really really pretty dessert bowl and whatever our favourite posh fruit happens to be. When you feel the urge to have one of your "downfall" items, chop up the fruit nicely and present it in your lovely new bowl (topped with a mint leaf if you're feeling extra fancy) and sit down and make a little "occasion" of it for yourself
The aim is that this will address the physical sugar craving as well as the psychological craving for a treat
Then again, everyone is different , and you did say you weren't after advice so feel free to tell me to shove it

I think it shows real hope that you are honest about what your problem is.

You have a complicated relationship with food which is self feeding (no pun intended).

If I could offer one word of advice it is that your breakfasts and lunch whilst healthy sound like big portions so if you literally only cut down the size of what you are eating you will feel less hungry long term.

If you have a pretty face you are probably already gorgeous but you probably could be more healthy and have a better relationship with food.

Op I know how you feel! I lost 10 and a half stone. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life because prior to losing my weight I loved and was addicted to food! Food ruled my life!

You have to really really want to lose the weight though. It is not easy. I took it one v small step at a time. Initially I was like a drug addict going cold turkey in rehab for the first few days, but then bit by bit I started to feel better.

When I went to work.I only used to take a £1 in my purse enough to buy a couple of pieces of fruit, nowhere near enough to buy ready made sandwiches, chocolate and crisps. This helped. So did shopping online, meal planning and saving £1 for every 1lb I lost.

I stopped buying junk food though it was torture! To get the sugar hit I used to freeze a banana and sprinkle 70% coco powder on.it or have apple slices with a teaspoon each of peanut butter and raisins. Odd I know, but it enabled me to have sweet stuff without resorting to chocolate etc!

You can do this if you really want to do it for you!