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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charlie Gard 9

999 replies

muckypup73 · 14/07/2017 20:53

Hi guys new thread.

Let's try to keep this one as sensible and measured as the past 7 threads have been.

Please note the MNHQ comment on thread number 7.

"Hi everyone,

..... We had to remove several parent-blaming posts, so we'd like to ask folk not to do this. We think we can all agree that this is a truly awful time for all involved and we just wouldn't wish it on anyone. If there's anything we could do with more of, it's support. We'll continue to remove reported posts that break TGs (if we've missed something, do feel free to let us know).

If we have to make too many deletions, we will need to look at removing the thread; which is the last thing we wish to do.

Thanks all"

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Thread gallery
6
Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:24

Sostenueto, I certainly hope so, because they are taking the piss now.

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Venusflytwat · 15/07/2017 23:24

Jux if you see threats of violence I would report still. I can't look in there anymore.

SerfTerf · 15/07/2017 23:27

Thanks @redshoeblueshoe. The spokesman is a kipper? Shock This case has a bit of everything.

Do we know if the spokesman is being paid?

Sostenueto · 15/07/2017 23:28

I and many more on here Mertz do have sympathy for the parents but others here, including me have lost children too. One of out posters lonelymummy1 has a little girl fighting for her life at the moment in GOSH and we have not heard anything from her for a couple of days. Our prayers to you lonelymummyFlowers But this circus has to stop. No thought by Charlie's parents for those children who are dying at gosh. No thought about their dignity and peace. Each action the parents of Charlie does affects all the children and staff in gosh. In the end peoples sympathy for c&c will completely erode unless this stops. The damage done to all is huge including the NHS. There are other children too.

MoreProseccoNow · 15/07/2017 23:29

The Gards really are being badly advised by those with their own agendas, taking advantage of their vulnerability. There doesn't seem to be anyone sensible supporting them.

Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:31

MoreProseccoNow, I agree with thats statement.

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Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:32

Sostenueto, I hopelonleymummy is ok, i think she probably finds it heartbreaking to read these threads, x

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Deux · 15/07/2017 23:33

This media nonsense is descending in to farce.

I find myself wondering if the parents' statement on Friday was merely an appeasement for the judge. And now this.

A few threads ago the possibility of a backlash against the parents was discussed if the media/SM media narrative wasn't dialled down. This may be a really regrettable statement from the parents.

The R4 Any Answers is really hard listening. The penultimate caller talked about guilt being the key driver and that it was common but unspoken. She ran a group for parents (?). The last caller was harrowing. She said they did it for them and not their son. So sad.

Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:33

Sorry spacebar not spacing lol unless I press it very very hard lmao

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Sostenueto · 15/07/2017 23:34

Yes am worrying a bit about her tbh. Fingers crossed all us well.Sad

Sostenueto · 15/07/2017 23:36

Can the judge do anything about it?

SerfTerf · 15/07/2017 23:36

The spokesperson was at pains to point out that the hostage belief was his rather than the family's

Which is odd in itself, for a spokesman.

Jux · 15/07/2017 23:38

I think the time that the parents could have changed their minds passed a long time ago.

I remember a short conversation with dh when I first started reading these threads (about no. 2, maybe 3) that they were forced to maintain their position now as they had far too much invested already.

That's why they need an adult they respect in their lives (but don't seem to have one) who could tell them kindly but firmly that it was time to stop. Not so much the whole case, I think that needs to finish properly now, but to stop their 'supporters' supporting them, at least iyswim.

And that Laura woman has no fucking excuse. Well, I know she's the aunt, so does have some excuse, but really her conduct has been truly appalling.

BoreOfWhabylon · 15/07/2017 23:39

affectionincoldclimate thanks for posting the Any Answers link. I did post it way upthread but can't be posted too many time imo.

I cried when I heard that caller, can't remember ever being so affected by a Radio piece. Anita Anand (presenter) was really affected too. I'm so pleased she said she would call her back off air. Even the continuity announcer before the next programme was choked up (for those that don't usually listen to Radio4, the presenters are not usually given to emoting)

I've actually nominated it for 'Pick of the Week' - first time I've ever done that.

Just wish someone would link to it on CA page.

Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:39

Jux, to be honest, I might be being mean, but I think she has an ulterior motive.

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Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:40

Guys I am going to start another thread, we are getting low, will post the link in a min x

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Zhx3 · 15/07/2017 23:41

I'm about to catch up on thread 9, but I wanted to say Flowers to everyone for updating this thread, it has been so measured and informative.

Having just finished thread 8, I also wanted to say Flowers to bluesky for the loss of your dc, and to all of the bereaved parents on here who have shared their stories so poignantly.

Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:41

Sorry haddnt realised someone had beat me too it lol

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rabbitnothare · 15/07/2017 23:42

And that Laura woman has no fucking excuse. Well, I know she's the aunt, so does have some excuse, but really her conduct has been truly appalling

This with bells on, she is constantly winding the CA up more and has blatantly ignored the abuse and threats of violence. When I asked her to remove comments, she deleted and blocked me.

Original poster
muckypup73 · 15/07/2017 23:44

rabbitnothare, so that begs the question why is she doing what shes doing?

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rabbitnothare · 15/07/2017 23:45

I would get deleted for posting what I really think...

TinselTwins · 15/07/2017 23:47

I don't have any issue with C&C saying they "nurse" Charlie! I'm sure it's all part of the care given to whole families in PICU to help the parents to feel as involved as possible.

I don't think any parent of any sick child owes any hospital or staff member gratitude. Staff are doing their jobs*
You are quite right, no parent asked to be there! This sort of conversation comes up a lot on MN re end of year thank yous for teachers.
Thing is, it's not about oweing you child's teacher (or nurse) anything. You don't. But personally, I'm amazed that anyone is willing to work as a teacher under todays school/teaching conditions and I'm just glad that there are still people willing to be there and put their all into it given that they get one kick in the teeth from the government after another. So I thank my kids teachers, my kids teachers do not expect me to. That is the dynamic

So I think you're twisting it a bit.
The GOSH I'm sure to not expect gushing gratitude from anyone, I'm sure they're quite aware that none of the parents are glad to be in the situation of needing to be there. So it's not that. Nobody is expecting C&C to be performing "thank you" monkeys for the benefit of the staff.
I think it's just that people are a bit baffled if they've ever been a relative in a critical situation, looking around thinking how the hell does anyone come in and do this job in this life and death situation when all I want to do is never set foot in a place like this, and that is why people are grateful for the hospital staff. Just because they're there, when nobody else wants to be IYKWIM.

BoreOfWhabylon · 15/07/2017 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

affectionincoldclimate · 15/07/2017 23:56

babylon
Thank you for sharing it already and sorry I missed that. I cried too. I thought Anita handled it well as I just wanted to listen to her and for her to feel heard. That one call was basically GOSH's entire argument in real life story. I don't think anyone in the CA or the parents considers this to be an option when they talk about letting Charlie live at any cost where this is the most likely option if he survives. It's heart wrenching.