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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I, or is friend a bit ... Odd?

212 replies

NoCapes · 13/07/2017 19:53

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday earlier in the week and she had a little tea party for her after school
So on the day I left for the school run a bit earlier, nipped to the shops, bought her DD a present card and wrapping paper, then picked the kids up, took them home to get changed and wrapped the present and wrote the card while they did so, then on we went to the party
All fine, or so I thought!

My friend text me the next day telling me she was offended by my behaviour about her daughters present, after a confusing exchange of texts I finally find out that basically she's annoyed that I bought the present so close to the party and I should've been 'more organised as I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was'

I'm totally confused
I'd planned to do the shopping this way as it seemed like less faffing for me with my own toddler to make a special trip
I didn't have to get a different present than I'd wanted to because they'd sold out or anything like that
And I thought I'd got a nice present (a pair of pj's, a book and a small cuddly toy)

Was I rude to buy the present on the day?? Or am I right and she's being a bit odd?

OP posts:
38cody · 15/07/2017 15:24

Were you late for the party because of having to get the gift?
Even if you were YANBU as these things happen to busy mums.
I think she's rude but if you are late that might be why.

38cody · 15/07/2017 15:28

Or this:

13/07/2017 20:09 Jamhandprints

It depends if you told her and made out that it was a hassle ie "I've been rushing about all day, had to buy the present, get the kids changed,rush back here. I'm exhausted!" This makes it seem like the birthday was an inconvenience or another job. Did you do this?

There must be a bit you're not telling us op - come on - spill the beans - what were you overheard saying?

This is the kind of thing I would get into trouble for too - I am very disorganised, in fact I should be making a fisher spinner cake right now for my DS' birthday... but I'll leave it to the lady minute - and then panic!

38cody · 15/07/2017 15:29

Blushfidget!

Balaboosteh · 15/07/2017 15:55

Don't tell me - she wanted you to look after all kids all summer as well?

Jedimum1 · 15/07/2017 18:17

She's assuming you've run into the shop and bought the first thing you saw, without consideration for what she liked. That said, a one year old cares for nothing but the box, and maybe ice-cream. It's a present for the mum, really. Say that you went to "pick it up" but that you had already browsed and decided to get those things ahead.

I am always late with these things, but I have a clear idea on what I want to get. Sometimes I need to collect from Argos, or Amazon delivers on the same day, or whatever. I don't see the issue, you bought her 3 things and wrote a card! I rarely manage that!

Lovebeingmama · 15/07/2017 19:57

Op are you sure that the comment you made didn't come across as buying the present was an inconvenience and you couldn't be bothered?...or something which could have been misconstrued as that.
I can't see any other reason why she would have sent you that text. ...other than her being crazy.
If there is no misunderstanding, I'd be leaving that 'friendship' behind.

Jedimum1 · 15/07/2017 20:13

I'd also considered whether this was an idea that a third person put on her head. It seems odd that she sent the text the following day and not after the party. Someone might have said something to her

Dianag111 · 15/07/2017 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChangelingToday · 16/07/2017 08:58

Wow! And really you barely know her!
One of our good friends repeatly bought ds the EXACT same present for Christmas 3 years in a row! Did we kick up a stink and stamp our feet? No we had a good laugh about it and said nothing. think you're doing the right thing, the true colours are definitely shining through!

ToesInWater · 16/07/2017 09:14

Batshit crazy! I used to regularly stop at the toy shop that gift wrapped to buy a present en route to kids' parties. I have a life.

Leapfrog44 · 17/07/2017 09:52

That's bang out of order. Is she otherwise 'normal'? Maybe she has post-natal craziness? I'd ditch any friend who did something like that. As an aside, I'd NEVER throw a party or expect presents for a 1 year old. Baby birthdays are ridiculous!

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