Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I, or is friend a bit ... Odd?

212 replies

NoCapes · 13/07/2017 19:53

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday earlier in the week and she had a little tea party for her after school
So on the day I left for the school run a bit earlier, nipped to the shops, bought her DD a present card and wrapping paper, then picked the kids up, took them home to get changed and wrapped the present and wrote the card while they did so, then on we went to the party
All fine, or so I thought!

My friend text me the next day telling me she was offended by my behaviour about her daughters present, after a confusing exchange of texts I finally find out that basically she's annoyed that I bought the present so close to the party and I should've been 'more organised as I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was'

I'm totally confused
I'd planned to do the shopping this way as it seemed like less faffing for me with my own toddler to make a special trip
I didn't have to get a different present than I'd wanted to because they'd sold out or anything like that
And I thought I'd got a nice present (a pair of pj's, a book and a small cuddly toy)

Was I rude to buy the present on the day?? Or am I right and she's being a bit odd?

OP posts:
BlahBlahBlahEtc · 13/07/2017 20:15

That's... I mean.. Who the fuck cares when the present was bought?! She still bloody got one (or3)!

Ungrateful Mary.

coldcanary · 13/07/2017 20:15

Definitely odd. DD's godmother once phoned me in a panic from a toy shop on the morning of her birthday because she needed help choosing something for her - I was just grateful she went to the trouble when she didn't have to!
Is she a super organised type in every day life? I tend to find that people who are like that can't understand anyone else who isn't like them and take it a bit personally.

Barefacedbear · 13/07/2017 20:18

Were you really late for the party? Is actually upset about that but thinks it's due to having to go home and wrap the present first?

WellThisIsShit · 13/07/2017 20:19

Weird.

I'd be sitting on my hands trying to resist texting back to ask when did the recipients of a non-obligatory present get to specify how and when of the purchase schedule?

I'd also be tempted to say in a ghastly passive aggressive way 'I'm concerned to see you behaving so abnormally and wonder if you're not coping at the moment? Extreme and controlling behaviour can sometimes be a sign that all is not well'!!!

Ok, don't send that!

pizzagal · 13/07/2017 20:21

That is absolutely insane! Why the hell does it matter when you bough the present?!

shouldaknownbetter · 13/07/2017 20:23

What does she think you should have done, bought it several weeks ago after looking in the shops for days on end because she and her daughter are so important to you???

GnomeDePlume · 13/07/2017 20:24

Was she expecting some sort of keepsake rather than an actual present for the child?

Perhaps you were supposed to get the pyjamas monogrammed, the book autographed to the child by the author and the soft toy made in the image of the child?

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 13/07/2017 20:25

Bonkers, absolutely bonkers. Yanbu, she's ungrateful.

viques · 13/07/2017 20:26

How odd.

Why not turn into my mother and specialise in peculiar birthday presents, like a tray of cactus, or her piece de resistance( I can still remember the expression on Julia's mother's face) a shoe box containing a tortoise.

Disclaimer this was a long time ago , tortoises were sold in petshops. As were day old chickens, she never bought those however,she did have standards.

DotForShort · 13/07/2017 20:26

Bonkers. Is she the sort of person who exists in a permanent state of outrage about perceived slights?

LeakyLittleBoat · 13/07/2017 20:26

Dear friend, I think you meant to say "thanks for the lovely gift." You're welcome. is the reply you should send.

ChicRock · 13/07/2017 20:28

This just makes no sense.

Did your shopping and then going home to wrap, etc, mean you arrived late to the party?

WineAndTiramisu · 13/07/2017 20:28

What a weird thing to say! My friends often get presents for their DC between 4 weeks before and 1 week after the birthdays, friends how organised I've been Blush
I do try and make sure they're there in time though, no one has been anything but grateful!

PicaPauAmarelo · 13/07/2017 20:28

What time did the tea party start and what time did you get there? The only reason for her to make comments about your organisation is if you were so late it was rude. If you weren't late then she's extremely rude and the world doesn't revolve around her and her toddler.

RuncibleSp00n · 13/07/2017 20:31

Utterly bonkers, rude, entitled and disgraceful of your 'friend'.

It sounds like you went above and beyond with the lovely gifts- I'd have been staggered and thrilled if a friend got so many nice gifts for my DC.

You were v generous. She, however, was a cunt.

UrsulaPandress · 13/07/2017 20:33

It takes all sorts.

RiverTam · 13/07/2017 20:34

That is a super-generous present.

What a rude loon.

grannytomine · 13/07/2017 20:36

I'd tell her there has been some confusion, you were buying next years present that day. Obviously you bought this years present last year.

NoSquirrels · 13/07/2017 20:37

Were you late? Or stressed & a bit offhand maybe?

If not, no issue.

VickyRsuperstar · 13/07/2017 20:38

How odd! I can't see why it matters when you bought a gift, just the fact that you bought one is enough to show that you care! Totally crazy! I am grateful if anyone buys something for one of my kids and I don't care when or where it was bought or even if it's wrapped! It's the thought that counts!

PetalHead · 13/07/2017 20:38

But... how long before the day is an acceptable time period according to her? Confused

Imagine the hassle of keeping various presents around the house, all duly purchased months before the event, and then making sure they didn't get mixed up or damaged.

You didn't even waste any extra time on the day, you picked up present on the way to school and quickly prepped it at home while kids got changed. I've done similar countless times. Sometimes I've even been running late so chucked present, paper and card in bag and hurriedly did it on the bus/outside venue/whatever.

She's odd to think that way, but even more bonkers to TELL you she's offended! Soooooo rude!

PinkHeart5911 · 13/07/2017 20:39

How odd!

You brought a present, wrapped it and wrote in the card along with your dc so clearly you made an effort how incredibly rude of your friend. Why does it matter what you went to the shop? Has she nothing better to think about?

Although I have a friend that will say " oh dh only brought my birthday gift on his way home" i will say " was it what you wanted" and she replies with " Yes but he only brought it on his way home"

Sometimes I wonder how peoples minds work!

blackteasplease · 13/07/2017 20:39

She's nuts!

But when I see threads with this sort of title I do always wonder if they are about me!

Want2beme · 13/07/2017 20:39

Read your post twice, as I thought I'd missed vital info, but no, she's crazy. How are you going to handle this? I'd tell her she needs to get some perspective in her life.

PetalHead · 13/07/2017 20:42

Ha ha blackteas me too :o I always think "Oh feck is that me, what have I done?"

I'm a bit odd I know I am, but not that rude thank goodness.

Swipe left for the next trending thread