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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I, or is friend a bit ... Odd?

212 replies

NoCapes · 13/07/2017 19:53

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday earlier in the week and she had a little tea party for her after school
So on the day I left for the school run a bit earlier, nipped to the shops, bought her DD a present card and wrapping paper, then picked the kids up, took them home to get changed and wrapped the present and wrote the card while they did so, then on we went to the party
All fine, or so I thought!

My friend text me the next day telling me she was offended by my behaviour about her daughters present, after a confusing exchange of texts I finally find out that basically she's annoyed that I bought the present so close to the party and I should've been 'more organised as I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was'

I'm totally confused
I'd planned to do the shopping this way as it seemed like less faffing for me with my own toddler to make a special trip
I didn't have to get a different present than I'd wanted to because they'd sold out or anything like that
And I thought I'd got a nice present (a pair of pj's, a book and a small cuddly toy)

Was I rude to buy the present on the day?? Or am I right and she's being a bit odd?

OP posts:
LittleWitch · 14/07/2017 20:49

Leaky has it. She actually thinks she's avoiding being rude by pretending this is about you leaving the present buying to the last minute. What she wants to say is that she was expecting a much "better" present but knows that would be completely out of order. She's stark raving mad and utterly entitled.

TheDowagerCuntess · 14/07/2017 21:04

I'd have said "are you ok?"

This is the only thing to say in response.

KirstyLaura · 14/07/2017 21:10

It's kind of laughable just how odd she is. Your shopping style is not my preference, i'm more of a last minute Amazon prime girl ha! But whatever, the gift had thought and energy put into it. She's being far too precious.

Madwoman5 · 14/07/2017 21:23

It was a birthday party
You turned up
You bought her dc a present
You wrapped it
What exactly is the issue?
my dc have received last minute corner shop tut wrapped in a brown paper bag before now.
Send a message back that says "I bought the gift I wanted for your dc and gave it to her on her birthday. What exactly is your issue?"

user1475434161 · 14/07/2017 21:26

Sounds like you are a thoughtful friend, you went to the party, took a card and present, a nice one at that, you've done absolutely nothing wrong!

Madwoman5 · 14/07/2017 21:27

Giftzilla! Tell her you have been WORKing!!!

Katherine2626 · 14/07/2017 22:12

Is she trying to pick a fight? Might she have post natal depression? This is illogical and to say what she has said makes her sound unhinged - nobody has to buy her child a gift, or at a specific time of the year that she dictates. She really does sound unreasonable and no, you are not!

Mum4Blake · 14/07/2017 22:35

YABU!
Next year plan well in advance
Buy a Christmas jumper in the January sales. She could hardly miss your lack of planning at such a gift given (I've assumed) mid July!

GabsAlot · 14/07/2017 22:40

lol at tiaras and her 18th presents

what she on glue?

bellie710 · 14/07/2017 22:53

Your friend is a lunatic and you are 100% normal!!

Plainlycrackers · 14/07/2017 23:13

Little Princess Cherub needed a personalised gift OP... oh and a card with "Cherub's first birthday" on it... to show your adoring obsession and forward planning 🙄🙄🙄

BengalGal · 14/07/2017 23:20

Do update us with what you text back and what happens. I would just say "your welcome." And avoid her. No more presents.

requestingsunshine · 14/07/2017 23:26

She's a loon!

I once had a friend turn up for dd2's 2nd birthday with the present unwrapped! She apologised, said she thought she had some at home but couldn't find it. She looked a little stressed. No biggie, as luck would have it I had a few sheets lying around so after thrusting a glass of wine in her hand i pointed her in the direction of said paper and she got to wrapping. Problem solved!

Original poster
NoCapes · 14/07/2017 23:50

Sorry didn't realise this thread was still going

I wasn't late for the party Lallypop

I think the posters who said she was expecting a 'special' and keepsakey present might have it actually
Although I only met this person while she was pregnant with the now 1 year old so not that long ago, and we only know each other through baby groups and then meeting up occasionally at a soft play or playground with our other DC at weekends as they are similar ages, so I wouldn't really consider us to be in special gift buying kind of territory tbh
PLUS! At my DS's 1st birthday last year she bought him an outfit and a jigsaw - so very much in the vein of what I bought her DD Confused

I think I'll just take a giant leap backwards from her tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 14/07/2017 23:51

And yes macnab that was me, and it did we are still seeing each other and just beginning to meet each other's kids/let them meet each other Shock

OP posts:
MyCatIsAPsychopath · 14/07/2017 23:54

YANBU but she is BVU. You got her daughter what you wanted to buy for her birthday. It doesn't matter when it was purchased. It's the effort and thought that counts. Ungrateful in the extreme.

BenLui · 15/07/2017 00:06

I would also be replying along the lines of:

"I think you meant to say "thank you".

And then I'd be stepping a loooong way back.

RubyFlint · 15/07/2017 00:10

Aww @nocapes so glad to hear all going well with GEG!

quizqueen · 15/07/2017 00:18

Those were really nice presents that you bought; in fact just one of them would have actually been enough. When and where you bought them is totally irrelevant. You 'friend' is very insensitive and ungrateful. I would have felt like asking for them back. Her child's birthday is not that important in the grand scheme of things that you need to store things up for months ahead!!!

Beeziekn33ze · 15/07/2017 00:47

Glad it's working out well with the hunky gardener! 😉

Benedikte2 · 15/07/2017 11:57

NoCapes you are too kind -- can tell from your posts (and I'm pleased the relationship is going well). You were very generous with your gifts for someone with who you have only an acquaintance still. Guess the acquaintance will not be progressing to a full blown friendship!
I would just ignore her text and be cool when you next see her.

mum11970 · 15/07/2017 12:02

Your friend is batshit. I'm going to an 18th tonight and will be going out to get a present soon. I could have bought any old stuff yesterday whilst doing my weekly shop but decided to spend a bit more time finding something nice today when I'm not in a hurry. When you bought the present isn't relevant.

Cozycorner · 15/07/2017 13:01

What did she overhear you saying?

JemmyBloocher · 15/07/2017 14:05

Have you got an update? Did you say '...and what about thank you?'

fannydaggerz · 15/07/2017 14:28

Did she find a gift receipt with the date?

She's batshit op, leave her to her own devices.

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