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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I, or is friend a bit ... Odd?

212 replies

NoCapes · 13/07/2017 19:53

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday earlier in the week and she had a little tea party for her after school
So on the day I left for the school run a bit earlier, nipped to the shops, bought her DD a present card and wrapping paper, then picked the kids up, took them home to get changed and wrapped the present and wrote the card while they did so, then on we went to the party
All fine, or so I thought!

My friend text me the next day telling me she was offended by my behaviour about her daughters present, after a confusing exchange of texts I finally find out that basically she's annoyed that I bought the present so close to the party and I should've been 'more organised as I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was'

I'm totally confused
I'd planned to do the shopping this way as it seemed like less faffing for me with my own toddler to make a special trip
I didn't have to get a different present than I'd wanted to because they'd sold out or anything like that
And I thought I'd got a nice present (a pair of pj's, a book and a small cuddly toy)

Was I rude to buy the present on the day?? Or am I right and she's being a bit odd?

OP posts:
yumyumpoppycat · 13/07/2017 22:10

That is pretty strange Yanbu - maybe she has something going on with someone else and is taking it out on you Confused

I think you need congratulating on your time efficiency, buying a generous present, and using new wrapping paper and a specially picked card rather than some old Christmas paper and a card factory 7 for £1 jobby like I do

TaggySits · 13/07/2017 22:12

Text her saying sorry, you messed up because you got mixed up and accidentally gave her the birthday present you got her for her 2nd birthday (duly bought a year in advance) instead of the one bought 6 months ago for this birthday.

cochineal7 · 13/07/2017 22:12

So you should have planned for this gift pretty much at her birth??

WineIsMyMainVice · 13/07/2017 22:15

That is a really very generous present! She is being completely U!!

Rose87777 · 13/07/2017 22:20

She is literally insane. INSANE!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/07/2017 22:22

Sometimes I buy presents in advance and then fail to deliver them until after, I'm sure that'd piss her right off.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 13/07/2017 22:24

Did you give her the gift receipt?
That's the only way she could possibly know when you bought the presents, well the pj's .
Not that it makes any difference. She is bang out of order and exceptionally rude.
If you manage to move past this display of petulance I would not be buying any more presents for her or her offspring.

Urglewurgle · 13/07/2017 22:26

Yanbu.

I've sent the other half into the bookies to 'borrow' a pen to write the card we've bought on the way to whoever's birthday it is. Now we keep a pen in the car pretty much just for writing birthday cards.

SabineUndine · 13/07/2017 22:27

'Everything must revolve around my PLB'? And the baby is ONE YEAR OLD so it doesn't matter to her what she gets!

Blimey.

Spudlet · 13/07/2017 22:31

Pmsl at the tortoise surprise, Gollum's ring and the fucking tiara. 😂😂😂

Op, good god woman, YANBU in the least. Your 'friend' (not signifying disbelief in her existence, just doubt at her right to be called a friend!) appears to have accidentally inserted her head up her own arse and got stuck there. I think you should probably summon medical assistance, or possibly deploy a winch of some kind...?

breadwidow · 13/07/2017 22:34

Oh my, as others have said she I bonkers! My bro typically arrives at mine for one of my kids b'days/mine/DH with just purchased present and quick request to 'borrow' some wrapping paper, sticky tape and pen. I guess that 'cheek' is cos I'm his sister but I often wrap presents on way to party or if I can get away with it at the person's house (with my own wrapping paper I should add!).

Hudson10 · 13/07/2017 22:41

Probably already been said, but why on earth does it matter when you bought the present or not?! Confused
Does anyone actually spend a whole year planning what they're going to get for a child's birthday present? I certainly don't!
As long as it was actually a child friendly gift and as a PP mentioned not a packet of fags or maybe some cans of Special Brew picked up from the petrol station on your way home Grin
I have two kids, and would never have dreamt of saying anything like that, or even cared when you purchased the present.
You thank the present giver. Some people are just so RUDE.

ShoesHaveSouls · 13/07/2017 22:45

I frequently buy presents last minute, even wrapping them in the car. I had no idea this was rude - why would this matter? I'm busy, can be disorganised, and probably spend way too much time texting people and on social media - but so what, as long as you bring a present...? Confused

Dippysnowoman · 13/07/2017 22:52

YANBU I often buy presents on the way to parties if I know what I'm getting and wrap them in the car.
Can't see what the problem is.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 13/07/2017 22:55

I used to wrap presents in the car frequently. But then I decided gift bags were much easier. Now the kids and their friends are older, I've given up and resorted to a tenner in a card.

cherish123 · 13/07/2017 23:01

YANBU. It is very bizarre behaviour. I would not even think there was anything wrong with buying a present on the afternoon of the party, let alone say anything. Why is it a problem WHEN you bought the present? She sounds unhinged.

Italiangreyhound · 13/07/2017 23:02

your friend has missed the point of a present. The giver chooses the gift (unless an alternative arrangement is decided), pays for it, wraps it and gives it.

The person receiving the gift can like it or not, use it or not, they do not get to dictate to the giver how it should have been bought. Your friend was very rude. I hope you told her so.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 13/07/2017 23:03

Has she done this sort of thing before, or is she normally more sensible? Has her DD's birthday been overshadowed by something unpleasant? I only ask that because that has happened to a family member a few times, and his mum got a bit defensive about a birthday one year and upset somebody. His birthday is in the dead of winter and kept coinciding with elderly relatives dying.

Genevieva · 13/07/2017 23:21

Wow! Has she really got nothing better to worry about? I rarely have time to go shopping, so I bulk buy gifts online in advance. Having been super organised, I then discover I am out of wrapping paper on the day of the party, so birthday presents usually get wrapped in tin foil. Its great - you don't even need sellotape.

ohfourfoxache · 13/07/2017 23:23

She doesn't exactly sound like a friend, Capes.

She actually sounds incredibly entitled and rude.

Can't you cut her loose?

crazykitten20 · 13/07/2017 23:31

MH issues mixed with a severe case of entitlement. Bin her now 😳

indigox · 13/07/2017 23:47

I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was

Better get the 2nd birthday present sorted ASAP!

LoveDeathPrizes · 13/07/2017 23:50

Taggysits That's awesome!

And yeah. Wow! She's so out of order.

Only1scoop · 14/07/2017 00:00

IndigoxGrin

She is extremely rude Capes, what on earth was she expecting

LeakyLittleBoat · 14/07/2017 02:38

I've been thinking about this and it came to me this is how my step-DIL behaves, while it's still bloody ungrateful and entitled, I'm thinking in her eyes you did do the equivalent of DH buying service station flowers last minute on Valentine's Day i.e. you just grabbed whatever was baby related and didn't put any thought into it. She expected something more 'personal' from you.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your gifts, frankly, the beauty of buying for one year olds is that you don't have to put much thought into it - clothes, cuddly toys and books for that age group - wtf else do they need? I would have bought exactly the same kind of thing you did and certainly no earlier than the weekend before if I happened to be in town and yes on the day itself if that was the only chance I had. But, given this baby is the second coming so special to the mum she's thinking the entire universe should revolve around her, my feeling is she was expecting a 'custom' collectable or legacy gift and she feels cheated by the normal kind of baby gift you bought.