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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I, or is friend a bit ... Odd?

212 replies

NoCapes · 13/07/2017 19:53

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday earlier in the week and she had a little tea party for her after school
So on the day I left for the school run a bit earlier, nipped to the shops, bought her DD a present card and wrapping paper, then picked the kids up, took them home to get changed and wrapped the present and wrote the card while they did so, then on we went to the party
All fine, or so I thought!

My friend text me the next day telling me she was offended by my behaviour about her daughters present, after a confusing exchange of texts I finally find out that basically she's annoyed that I bought the present so close to the party and I should've been 'more organised as I've known for a whole year what date the birthday was'

I'm totally confused
I'd planned to do the shopping this way as it seemed like less faffing for me with my own toddler to make a special trip
I didn't have to get a different present than I'd wanted to because they'd sold out or anything like that
And I thought I'd got a nice present (a pair of pj's, a book and a small cuddly toy)

Was I rude to buy the present on the day?? Or am I right and she's being a bit odd?

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 14/07/2017 03:11

A birthday party for a 1 year old just seems so utterly pointless and a massive waste of time/energy/money. I can't get past the pointlessness of that enough to give a damn about the present (which sounds lovely btw). Your friend is an idiot

verystressedmum · 14/07/2017 08:53

She's mad and incredibly rude.

I've bought a gift while the dc were actually at the party and brought it at picking up time saying sorry we left it at home...
It doesn't actually matter, the child got a gift. I'm quite busy and sometimes forget.

Think you should get new friends.

Twillow · 14/07/2017 09:28

YANBU she's being extremely precious. I've done it loads of times. And I'm sure she will when she gets over herself. Speaking from my own experience though first time mums can think their child is the greatest gift the world has ever had.
She should have the manners to be grateful you came and brought what sounds like a lovely gift.
Maybe when it's your child's next birthday you should send her an email 3 months beforehand saying you know how organised she is, here are some ideas for things your child would like!

Turquoise123 · 14/07/2017 17:30

Sad. Best not to see this family ?

jayne1976 · 14/07/2017 17:37

Sounds a lovely gift, and as you had planned to buy it then and planned what you were buying (if pre planning to buy the gift is a must), then it wasn't like you suddenly thought oh c88p I haven't got a blinking present, I just go and buy any old junk! Ridiculous woman needs to have a word with herself!

Lallypop · 14/07/2017 17:59

Sounds like she was upset you turned up late?

RubyFlint · 14/07/2017 18:06

I cant believe she actually said that to you OP. What's going through her mind? I wonder what her thread on here would say,

jkpw · 14/07/2017 18:12

She's a nut job. If it was me, I'd tell her "OK, fine, give it back." and return everything. Why the fuck does it matter when you bought the damn gift?? It's not like this little girl is going to be laying on the couch in 20 years telling the shrink, "Yes doctor, I think my life is in such turmoil and despair. It all started when I was turning one, and my mum's friend bought my gift THE DAY OF!!" Piss off.

Payitforward55 · 14/07/2017 18:20

How close a friend is she? I would be considering cutting this one loose

SpookyBookey · 14/07/2017 18:26

She is crazy, YANBU. I wouldn't even expect a gift, lovely if you get one but wouldn't expect one.

user1498550798 · 14/07/2017 18:29

Madness! You were so generous too.

I would be tempted to text back that you are sorry she did not find the presents suitable but that you are happy to return them. Then wrap up a pound coin in printer paper and give it to her for next year. On the other hand if you think this is really out of character then you could text asking if she is ok as she seems to have totally lost perspective.

Whatever you do, don't humour it, call her out.

user1498550798 · 14/07/2017 18:31

Alternatively tell her you had no time to shop earlier because, though you were embarrassed to tell her this before, you feel compelled to spend three hours each day praying for her DD and her future. You had to allow extra praying time in recent weeks because birthday.

ChuffMuffin · 14/07/2017 18:39

How bizarre! Confused

Next time if she says anything like that, stop and say "I think you meant to say thank you".

mogulfield · 14/07/2017 18:42

You bought far more than I would.
I'd distance myself from her to be honest, I can't be doing with immature drama.

AimeeNoOneTheSamee · 14/07/2017 18:44

She's fucking crazy.

I hope she reads all these posts so she knows she's fucking crazy.

IJustGotHitByADeer · 14/07/2017 18:44

I've just read this post out to DH. He looked utterly perplexed for about a minute and then said this:

"When you send someone a message, on some level you have an expectation as to what you'd like the reply to be. What is this woman expecting from OP? Is she supposed to ask for the present back so she can return it and buy one last week?"

YADNBU

GhostCurry · 14/07/2017 18:46

What did you say in response?!

I'd have said "are you ok?"

Sparklyglitter · 14/07/2017 18:49

I don't mean this to sound rude...but is she having mental health issues? A bit depressed or anything? Because that's just a really odd thing to be upset about, but when people are struggling they sometimes don't see things in a sensible way. If your friend is usually ok and you are good friends maybe it would be worth saying sorry she's upset and leave it at that? Sounds like you've bought a lovely present and I would say it doesn't matter when you bought it as long as you put thought into it xx

Marymoosmum14 · 14/07/2017 19:14

She is being incredibly precious. Tell her you wont get her DD a present next year.

WinnieTheWitch50 · 14/07/2017 19:21

She's odd and bloody rude to boot!

Ellie56 · 14/07/2017 19:25

She is completely batshit and unspeakably rude. ShockIn any case you would hardly buy pyjamas for a child months in advance. Confused

Delancy · 14/07/2017 19:49

How audaciously rude!

I would buy her 2nd birthday pressie now and wrap it and send it to her next week. Just to be on the safe side.

Writermom22 · 14/07/2017 20:04

How rude of her! And ungrateful.

I'm so glad my kids are older and I don't have to be nice to other schoolmums anymore who try and make themselves your friend but are the furthest thing from being a friend that they can be.

Groovester · 14/07/2017 20:09

Completely nuts!

macnab · 14/07/2017 20:15

Yes, she's 🥜 (nuts for those who can't see the image!)

More importantly are you the piste who got with the hunky gardener? If you are, has it worked out?!

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