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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Tmi anal sorry (potential trigger)

192 replies

embarrassednamechanged · 12/07/2017 22:14

Ok, so not sure if I even want to say this but it's been playing in my mind and would like a bit of perspective.

A few weeks ago my dh and I were at a wedding, both very drunk. At the end of the night in hotel room started to get a bit friendly. Dh is behind me and instead of having sex in the normal way he tries to penetrate anally, something I've always been very clear I hate and will never do. I keep telling him to stop and he keeps trying, I asked him to stop 5 or 6, maybe more times. He even spits on me to try and lubricate. He only penetrated a little as it wouldn't go in properly but then he gives up and has normal sex, I didn't say no to that. By this point I was scared he's not going to stop anal and I'm crying though facing away from him. When he'd finished I went to the toilet and cried. He thought I was being dramatic and making a fuss.

We didn't speak about it or have sex for a few weeks after. When we eventually did I said I need to know that you'll stop if I ask you to and explained how I'd felt. He didn't seem to realise I was upset, and he did apologise. We've just carried on as if nothing happened but i still don't quite feel right about it. He never done anything like it before (or since) though he can be persistent about sex.

Aibu to still let this bother me? How can I put it out of my mind? Sorry for tmi

OP posts:
0ccamsRazor · 13/07/2017 08:16

He is a rapist.

He will do this again.

He has zero respect for you and women in general. Any man that puts his sexual wants, not needs, above yours is not a man that can suddenly change for the better.

He is not a nice man at all.

How would he feel if you put a big strap on penis and shoved it up his area with just a bit of spit?

MineKraftCheese · 13/07/2017 08:26

OP, this is a really horrible and confusing thing to happen. This incident should not be minimised. He had many and ample opportunities to stop as you had asked and he didn't. He KNEW you hated it but he still tried to push his penis into your anus and even spat on you.

This isn't a safe place for you to be, sweetie. His behaviour isn't borderline, it is hugely abusive. The pestering for sex, sulking, it's horrible and shouldn't be part of a relationship.

I'm not suggesting it's easy to leave. But please consider ringing rape crisis as you mentioned last night. Worried about you.

Notreallyarsed · 13/07/2017 08:31

I had a conversation like this with my friend when her partner didn't listen to her during sex. She was extremely distressed and degraded and he didn't stop.
I told her what I'll tell you OP. There is never, never a reason or excuse to push a sexual partner into something they don't want, to degrade someone you love, to continue despite them being distressed.
Without meaning to sound prim, being naked and intimate with someone is the most vulnerable you'll ever be, you have to be able to trust them implicitly and also to know that they would never, ever cross a line.
I'm sorry this happened to you.

Notreallyarsed · 13/07/2017 08:34

And you don't need to feel guilty for not wanting sex all the time, or being pressured into giving in. Sex should be something both partners are into, not something one gives in to because the other is moaning. DP and I have had times where it's 6 days a week, and times where it's once a month. It's never been about pressure, and it shouldn't be.

TheDowagerCuntess · 13/07/2017 08:44

So he knows full well you're not up for anal ... and his response is to:

  1. try 5-6 times with no lubrication (just this one thing is bad enough)
  2. spit for lubrication
  3. try an alternative hole
  4. scoff at your upset
  5. make it clear that you're not to annoy him by talking about it / being upset over it.

Is this the sort of man you want your DD ending up with?

youhavetobekidding · 13/07/2017 08:44

When he'd finished I went to the toilet and cried. He thought I was being dramatic and making a fuss He minimised your distress, instead of acknowledging it.

We didn't speak about it or have sex for a few weeks after. When we eventually did I said I need to know that you'll stop if I ask you to and explained how I'd felt. He didn't seem to realise I was upset, and he did apologise he did know you were upset. You were crying

He'd be mortified if he thought he'd assaulted me and he'd definitely think I was being ridiculous if I suggested it. Again, minimising your distress

being naked and intimate with someone is the most vulnerable you'll ever be, you have to be able to trust them implicitly and also to know that they would never, ever cross a line.
I'm sorry this happened to you
This

youhavetobekidding · 13/07/2017 08:59

Police video "cup of tea"

TheMaddHugger · 13/07/2017 09:11

Mega (((((((((((hugs)))))))))) OP. Just ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))Flowers

picklemepopcorn · 13/07/2017 09:13

He was very aware of what he was doing. What he wasn't very aware of- and lots of men seem not to be- is that it is completely unacceptable.
We seem to live in a culture where consent is vaguely optional. Where men really really wanting to is more important than women not wanting to, and that women should let their men do whatever they want if they love them/have been with them for a long time.

It's just weird, and really needs sorting out.

ChasedByBees · 13/07/2017 09:21

It's not your fault if you don't want to have sex, why would you with a man who pushes your boundaries like this?

In society we're often conditioned to think of rapists as people who will jump out of bushes at us, but it's often people we know, love or trust. It can cause quite a cognitive dissonance trying to associate the person we know as a 'good guy' most of the time with the person who would do something like rape and so that causes us to mentally downplay it.

What he did was rape though. No grey fuzzy boundaries, it was rape.

Take care of yourself and think about what to do carefully as this is not a man who will cherish you or teach your daughter how a man should treat her.

Shadow666 · 13/07/2017 09:22

I think all men know that this is unacceptable. There is unfortunately a small minority who just don't care. I'm actually interested in a male perspective on this because I can't think of any guy I know who would think this is ok,

Neutrogena · 13/07/2017 10:01

Rapists need to be prosecuted, and if not, publicly shamed. Tell his employers, friends, parents, etc
Doing nothing legitimizes his behaviour.
You are a brave and strong woman, and now is the time to act like one.

Italiangreyhound · 13/07/2017 10:05

Good advice from Sunnyjac about not showing him the thread and seeking help.

I agree with JustDontGetItAtAll I think your post Balaboo was very insensitive.

embarrassednamechanged "He made a brief comment like "really?!" and huffed about it at the time when he realised I'd been crying." That doesn't sound at all sympathetic.

"I've avoided talking about it since as I know there's no point, he'd get humpy about it so I haven't really given him the chance to be fair." So would you say that this inability to discuss things, which are important to you , is part of your marriage?

"He's not a talker and it would just result in a week of sulking if I tried so I've avoided it." My husband is also not a talker but he has never sulked for a week or even a day. It's normal to do that even if you are a quiet or shy or introvert person.

"We never really have sex much as I avoid it so he does pester a bit sometimes but I do understand that as it is hard not having sex, that is my fault (not giving excuses or self blaming)." Is there a reason you do not feel like sex much, I mean before this appalling incident when he forced himself on you. You do not need to answer this at all, but if you wish to answer, please do. I

"I find I'm never interested so find excuses not to. He never kisses me which I find hard too (though don't want him to now)." It sounds like your marriage is not in a very healthy shape quite aside from this assault. I also wonder why you don't want him to know how you feel. It sounds like you are more interested in his feelings than your own. Do you think that is true? Please do not feel I am getting at you, at all, I am not. I am just concerned you seem to put his feelings and his perception of the relationship ahead of your needs.

"I know it's not a good picture I'm painting but he's not a bad man. I do think he used to watch a lot of porn and his vision of sex is a bit based on that, not sure if he does now but that doesn't bother me really." I think he is not a good man, for all the reasons you describe. And I find porn watching very damaging for all concerned. I also think it is interesting you are not that bothered if he does or doesn't watch porn, and don't even know if he does. It sounds like you are quite distanced from him so I do wonder why you are staying with him, even aside from this assault.

"I promise to do my very best to be proactive." I wish you all the best, please keep talking if it helps.

kateandme don't worry about grammar your post is brilliant and I think full of insight.

OP, re "Instincts are swinging between leave and bury my head in the sand!" Make a list, reasons to stay, reasons to go. I bet your reasons to go list us way longer, be honest, just do it and tell us which list is longer.

xx Thanks

igivein · 13/07/2017 11:32

I wouldn't see this as rape, though I know some do
The Sexual Offences Act sees it as rape, so that's what it is:

A person A puts his penis into the vagina, anus or mouth of person B.
Person B does not consent. Person A does not reasonably believe that person B consents.

It doesn't matter how slight the penetration was, there was penetration, you didn't consent, he didn't have a 'reasonable belief' that you consented, so the offence is clearly made out.

What your DH did was a very serious criminal offence for which the maximum sentence is life in prison - the same as if he'd murdered you. You need to really understand this and 'believe' it yourself as part the process of deciding what you want to do.

Rape Crisis can really help you with this. Flowers

BraveBear · 13/07/2017 11:47

Given the anecdote in your OP, I'm not at all surprised that you avoid sex with him. It's not a "you" problem, it's him.

vikingprincess81 · 13/07/2017 11:51

So sorry sweetheart, he did rape you, and I'm so sorry you've had to go through that.

For pp asking about a man's perspective - from Page3

'I would not dream of treating my DW this way in a million years. I also do not believe that the average man would treat his partner like this.
If a friend told me he had behaved like this to his wife I would be furious. I would probably break off the friendship. I might even inform the police.
I think anyone would be upset at being treated like you have. They should be.
I second the advice above about seeking help.
Your husband also needs to understand how badly he has behaved, however, that is not your responsibility.'

That's how a man should respond. Sending hugs and strength OP Flowers

Notreallyarsed · 13/07/2017 11:58

When my friend disclosed what her partner did to her to my DP he told her partner he wasn't to set foot in our house again, that he was no kind of man and that if he ever did anything to hurt or degrade my friend again he'd knock him out. And DP is the quietest, most laid back person I've ever met, I've only heard him raise his voice a handful of times in 6 years. But he was furious with my friend's partner and told him so (with my friends blessing I might add)

Goldenphoenix · 13/07/2017 12:59

So sorry OP. If this was my husband i'm afraid that would be the end of us, sorry he has done this, don't let him underplay his actions.

Astella22 · 13/07/2017 14:10

It's never enough to 'Think' your DH won't do it again you deserve to know it won't happen. He sounds like a creep never kissing and not taking no be ityour1st or 10th no. Your so confused because your not comfortable putting the correct label on what happened - it was a sexual assault.
Think of what advise u would give your daughter and then you'll have the answer u need. Be strong if only for her sake, ull do her no favour by being with guy and being unhappy.

Brittbugs80 · 13/07/2017 14:22

In society we're often conditioned to think of rapists as people who will jump out of bushes at us, but it's often people we know, love or trust. It can cause quite a cognitive dissonance trying to associate the person we know as a 'good guy' most of the time with the person who would do something like rape and so that causes us to mentally downplay it

Agree with this.

And a previous poster who said get it documented with a GP or Police. If you choose to leave or not, it's there on record just in case. Just remember, you have the choice.

SmileEachDay · 13/07/2017 14:29

How would he feel if you shoved a dildo up his backside? Especially if you did it when he had expressly said no.

Pretty violated, I'd guess. This is NO DIFFERENT- you have consented to PIV sex with him, this does not imply consent for any other penetration. It doesn't even imply consent for future PIV sex.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this OP. I hope you've got some RL support.

It's rape, absolutely. You get to decide what happens next though - don't feel powerless.

TheSparrowhawk · 13/07/2017 14:39

'I feel I need to clarify a bit though, he hasn't gone on about me being dramatic etc since. He made a brief comment like "really?!" and huffed about it at the time when he realised I'd been crying. I've avoided talking about it since as I know there's no point, he'd get humpy about it so I haven't really given him the chance to be fair. He's not a talker and it would just result in a week of sulking if I tried so I've avoided it.'
So he raped you and then huffed when you were upset. And you've avoided talking to him about it because you know he would punish you by sulking. That is extremely abusive behaviour. It is very worrying that you're trying to blame yourself for this situation by saying you haven't really given him a chance - you haven't talked about it because you have been very well trained to expect abusive behaviour - you know there's absolutely no point in 'giving him a chance' because all he'll do is sulk.

'We never really have sex much as I avoid it so he does pester a bit sometimes but I do understand that as it is hard not having sex, that is my fault (not giving excuses or self blaming). I find I'm never interested so find excuses not to. He never kisses me which I find hard too (though don't want him to now).'
So he never kisses you, he just pesters you for sex. And you think that's your fault? He has done a huge number on you.

You need to get away from this utter arsewipe asap.

OlennasWimple · 13/07/2017 14:55

It's a very porny thing - both anal and the spitting then going ahead despite lack of consent Sad

ptumbi · 13/07/2017 17:44

OP - you were raped.

You are minimising it.

He is minimising it.

He is abusive.

Get help to get away from him.

Tazerface · 13/07/2017 18:11

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

I can understand why you are so upset - he raped you and now somehow it has become your responsibility to either put up and shut up, or break up your family.

You need to reject this utterly OP. He doesn't deserve you as a family and he doesn't deserve you keeping his filthy little secret. He's disgusting.

I really feel for you. He's put you in such a shitty position.