If you smoke, can I ask why?

[KrayKray00]

I am currently standing in the rain having a cigarette.

I quit for 4 years and was never a heavy smoker. But I have found myself wondering and waiting to have my next "fag".

It started about three weeks ago when I started getting my youngest to sleep in his cot after 2 years of co-sleeping. After about an hour I of getting him to sleep I would then go outside and have a cigerett once he had finally dropped off. Almost like 5 minutes peace and chill out. My children don't know I smoke as I never do it in front of them but I smell, I know I smell horrid, I hate It.

Before if I had been on a night out drinking I could smoke and it wouldn't bother me the next day or whatever it would just be for that night but I have now found myself unable to stop.

Once the children have gone to school or Nursery's I go out for one, if I am a at uni or work I long for one. I have had 6 today and will probably have another one later on.

I am rather fit and go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I even want one when I come out! I have noticed my throat is sore when I wake up too.

I don't feel well I ke I have have been smoking long enough to seek help from the GP and I do not like vaping. But when I do smoke I get like a break is that makes sense? I feel so disgusted in myself and feel like I have let myself down. It doesn't bother me if other people smoke at all but I feel terrible.

If you smoke can I ask you why? Is it habit? Addiction? A release? I want to quit before I get into a deep hole but do not know what to replace it with?!

^ this was my experience. It was thought I had pneumonia or TB at one stage as I was so ill. Ideal time to stop.

Sick as a dog . Want to stop but tell myself its my only pleasure.
Its embarrasing too and i find myself smoking on the sly.
I can do a long haul flight and stopped during pregs. It is a pscyhological crutch.
I worked with additcs and one guy told me crack was easier to shake off than fags. Nicotine is evil but the delivery system, the habit, the triggers are so complex it takes different ways for everyone.

This thread has helped me realise so much.

I quit when I was pregnant and had severe AN depression, I didn't realise the effects nicotine has on mental health- if I'd of known, maybe my mental health wouldn't have spiraled so far as I would know the cause.

I am also routine obsessed and couldn't handle the spare time I had, I actually posted on here at one point asking what non smokers did with their time, sometimes I just sat in bed all day because I just didnt know what to do with myself without my usual routine ie, what is the point of getting out of bed when I wake up, I have nothing to go downstairs for.

I'd quit once before (when I wasn't pregnant) and felt similar, I swore after I gave birth I would smoke as soon as I was physically capable of going outside- but I didn't and apart from one or two when I've been out drinking I haven't had a cigerette for nearly 18 months. I do vape though and wouldn't be without that but I'm happy I now get the best of both worlds.

Stevieo well done

It is great to hear the success stories. The only logical reason I can see is I am addicted to nicotine. I have given up a few times, always seem to slip back. Addiction has to be the main reason I poison myself, waste my money, sneak out the back garden several times a day. This thread has inspired me to give it another go, hopefully kick it for good.

Juicy, go for it! That feeling of guilt/ worry you have every time you smoke? It goes when you quit and that's so liberating!

Having lost an aunt and my dear mother to smoking related cancer at just 60 I beg all of you to think long and hard about whether it's worth putting yourselves and you families through it. I know addiction isn't as simple as that but the warnings of dangers are very much real and however much you think it won't be you it could be!

Im sorry to hear of your losses. You are exactly right it's only a matter of time for any smoker. I'm starting/stopping today.

I smoke around 5 a day. I've smoked since I was about 16, (43 now) although I never smoked at home, I didn't want my parents to know (although my dad use to smoke) so I didn't smoke in front of them until I was about 24!

I stopped completely throughout two pregnancies, started up almost straight away after my first was born & about 9 months after my 2nd was born. Have never been a heavy smoker so have probably never smoked more than 10 in a day.

I hate smoking, I feel ashamed by it, but I enjoy my cig - strange I know, but I'm addicted obviously. I can go on day trips all day with the kids & not need one. I don't smoke in the house or when out shopping. My DH doesn't smoke, no one I know round me here smokes, in fact I could say almost anyone I know here hates it! Where as if we go to see DH's brother further up north, it's like a different world, everyone smokes, there's not one person who doesn't.

I would eventually like to stop & I will, I'm aiming to stop this year (get my driving test out the way if I can).