If you smoke, can I ask why?

[KrayKray00]

I am currently standing in the rain having a cigarette.

I quit for 4 years and was never a heavy smoker. But I have found myself wondering and waiting to have my next "fag".

It started about three weeks ago when I started getting my youngest to sleep in his cot after 2 years of co-sleeping. After about an hour I of getting him to sleep I would then go outside and have a cigerett once he had finally dropped off. Almost like 5 minutes peace and chill out. My children don't know I smoke as I never do it in front of them but I smell, I know I smell horrid, I hate It.

Before if I had been on a night out drinking I could smoke and it wouldn't bother me the next day or whatever it would just be for that night but I have now found myself unable to stop.

Once the children have gone to school or Nursery's I go out for one, if I am a at uni or work I long for one. I have had 6 today and will probably have another one later on.

I am rather fit and go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I even want one when I come out! I have noticed my throat is sore when I wake up too.

I don't feel well I ke I have have been smoking long enough to seek help from the GP and I do not like vaping. But when I do smoke I get like a break is that makes sense? I feel so disgusted in myself and feel like I have let myself down. It doesn't bother me if other people smoke at all but I feel terrible.

If you smoke can I ask you why? Is it habit? Addiction? A release? I want to quit before I get into a deep hole but do not know what to replace it with?!

I smoke occasionally and have since I was a teenager. I only do it when I am stressed, and never in the house.

DH still hates it, he thinks it's dirty and disgusting.

The problem with the shoe analogy is that it works for pretty much all human pleasures. Looked at under one light, pleasure is the release from pain or, at least, discomfort. Most of the time we aren't able to relieve discomfort. So perhaps if isn't so strange after all to create some mild discomforts (like nicotine withdrawal, which isn't going to kill you) precisely to have the reliable, predictable and completely satisfying pleasure of removing them? Not so different from working up an appetite before a good meal, or the pleasure of a hot shower after a run in cold rainy weather.

In other words, I don't think there's anything wrong or irrational about enjoying the "addictive" aspect of smoking -- @woollyminded puts it beautifully! The problem is just that it's so incredibly bad for you. (Which is why I gave up five years ago after over a decade of fairly heavy smoking. Don't really miss it any more, but if they invented a completely safe cigarette I'd go back to it. Tried vaping but it wasn't for me...)

I smoked, then quit, then smoked socially (I craved it all of the time, socially was my "compromise")
Then I got ill and smoking even just socially disagreed with me

So now I vape, I enjoy it and I'm not even slightly tempted by The Real Thing :)

I would smoke in the house yes, but I preferred to be outside (this was well before the smoking ban and even when it was OK to chuff away at your desk at work). The getting away from everything for 5 mins was part of the pleasure of it. When it was cold and wet I'd lean at the back door. I have smoking friends who I don't mind lighting up when they come round, I do notice how strong it smells but find that it airs out quickly. I live on a farm though, stone floors, dogs and chickens and whatnot so it's no Jo Malone salon round here to begin with!

I quit just over a year ago for health and financial reasons , still bloody miss it though. I was addicted and had been for 15 years , I loved my fags.

Tricky one. I smoked for years, gave up a couple of times but was really ill earlier this year so couldn't smoke. (Well I could but felt like shit!)
Doctor told me I had to give up as there was worrying patches of fluid on my lungs and told me emphysema was a possibility in later years.
For the first couple of weeks I could have bought a packet of fags every day. If there's any in the house I'd smoke them. If anyone offered me one I'd smoke it.
I liked smoking as it was my 'me' time, time to sit and think, away from everything, just me and the paper. I've gone over to lozenges and an e cig, as has my husband, who was a heavy smoker, tho I wasn't. I treated it like I did when I lost weight, nothing was banned, I just ate less. If I couldn't have biscuits, I'd be gagging for them and would eat an entire packet! Same with cigarettes, I tell myself I can have one every now and then and it seems to be working. This might sound strange but if you don't buy any, you can't smoke them! That is working for me. Good luck

Great BBC easy to listen podcast on this subject on 'why does anyone still smoke'.

Conclusion is it's Largely marketing, desire to fit into a group, but mostly it's so so addictive.

itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/why-does-anyone-still-smoke/id932499233?i=1000378128515&mt=2

Urgh I've recently started again after 15 years of being an odd one on a Friday night smoker. Also disgusted at myself.
My best friend smokes and I've been spending a lot more time with her.

Also, since they stopped selling 10 packs, I have a lot more fags lying around, so they are more tempting. That policy has had the opposite affect on me and quite a few other social smokers I know.

Hopsalong - you speak the truth. My OH will deprive himself of liquids for HOURS and then eat a dry biscuit because he loves the sensation of the first gulp of tea sooooo much! I tell him he's a fuckin idiot and will give himself a kidney stone but that won't stop it!

I think your issue is the association of smoking with 'break'. Tbh, it's one I can readily understand, even though I am an evangelical non-/ex-smoker who never experienced addiction (smoked on and off for 2 years as a student 20 years ago, stopped immediately I decided I wanted to, had about 10 altogether (literally) on social occasions over the next decade and a half, none since and know I never will again because it utterly disgusts me now).

Can you find a different ritual? A takeaway coffee after nursery drop-off, a small glass of wine or nice lemonade/tonic water/decaf tea/whatever you like best after getting the dc to bed, perhaps going and standing in the garden to drink it?

As for the cravings, take them one at a time. When you want one, say 'No, I am not going to have this one'. And repeat. Don't think about giving up 'for good' or 'X days/weeks without'. Perhaps snap a hair bobble around your wrist to literally snap yourself out of it.

I stopped smoking in January but before that I smoked on and off since I was 17 (not when I was pregnant). I never smoked a lot, unless I was drinking. But I really used to look forward to putting the kids to bed and enjoying a cigarette in the back garden. It was like my time to relax.

I started when I was a student, going to the pub with my friends. I found that I liked beer a lot and that a cigarette was the perfect accompaniment to a pint. Fuller's & Marlboro is like bacon & eggs.

I'd like to boast that I quit for my health, but the reality is that I quit for financial reasons. Basically, I was too tight to pay a fiver for a packet of fags.

I used to chain smoke. I bought the Alan Carr Easiway to Quit from amazon for a couple of pounds, and quit. He changes the way you think about smoking to remove the psychological need to smoke.
The physical addiction isnt too bad once you deal with the mental addiction. I used to wake up in the night for a cigarette, but most people dont.

@user1492023898 have you even smoked before? Your posts are really high and mighty. Take it from an ex-smoker that 3 days and you're cured is bollocks. I'm 7 months pregnant and I quit the day I found out, yet it's still as hard as day 1. If I wasn't pregnant right now I'd be in the corner shop buying fags.

I was a very heavy smoker until 35 when I started trying for a child. I had a brief period 3 years' ago when I took it up again briefly was almost straightaway addicted again. It was hard to give up and I was furious that I fell into the trap of starting again.

Yes, now there are moments when I want a cigarette and I assume there always will be. But the disadvantages of smoking (addiction, expense, health, hiding it from the children, my self-image) are far higher than the brief pleasure that I obtained from a few of my daily cigarettes when I was a chain smoker.

I started smoking socially when I was at uni, and actually found it a great way to meet people in the smoking areas of my halls/clubs/pubs etc and within a few months was a full blown smoker.

After uni I found I only smoked at work or when I was drinking. It was good at work to have a 5 minute break. It was a real physical job and we all used to enjoy the 5 minutes rest, and usually used the time to chat about what we still had to do, and to form a plan of action. Shift handover we're almost always done in the smoking area too.

Now I've "quit", although not completely. I guess I'm more of a social smoker again now, and only smoke if I'm drinking. There's something about alcohol that makes me crave It!

Can I ask those of you who smoke(d) do you do it in the house

No, NEVER. I don't smoke, DH does, it could be 200mph winds and 6ft snow - he would still go outside, and he is happy to.

DM smokes in her house - very heavily and when we come home after visiting, we have to wash all clothes and shower - DH included and he is a smoker. The smell that gets on his clothes/him when in a house saturated with it, is totally different to when he goes out for one every few hours.

I even leave my handbag in the car, as if I take that in, it ends up stinking and I can't wash it all the time.

I quit 5 years ago. Went cold turkey and was absolutely fine. DH did too.

2 years ago we went through a truly horrific period and both DH and I had a few through stress. I was able to keep it to that, DH wasn't and for nearly a year kept on without telling me. He was bloody good at hiding it! He was so ashamed bless him

Recently things have been horrendous again. My best friend has managed to fall into a smoking blip at the same time as me and now it's become our way to escape. It's only been a few weeks. I know I'll quit again once our stress is finished, but right now I'm ok with using this as a coping strategy. If I didn't have it I'd be 2+ stone heavier through stress eating and/or an alcoholic. Smoking is easier than either of the other two for me to quit in a few weeks tbh.

Oh and I never EVER smoke in the house of the car - with or without the DC around. In fact I only smoke if they're at school/nursery or in bed.
DH gets smoking breaks at work so he's worse than me.

Never smoke in the house bar the occasional one in the bathroom with window open if it's v late at night and bad weather.

In our old house we had a "smoking room" upstairs but it was aired and cleaned regularly and when we sold it there wasn't even a comment on the smell.

Smoking indoors generally makes me feel uncomfortable, though (only started post smoking ban).

I've smoked since I was a teenager, never managed to quit, I got my first job so I could afford cigs! Now looking 11 years down the line it was an immature decision and I have anxiety so smoking is a crutch for my MH.

It still is pleasurable at times but other times I'm not enjoying it and it's a chore in a way. My mum smoked 40 a day and now she vapes so I know it's possible, I just didn't get on with the first vape I tried. I said I'd like to quit before 30 but I'm running out of time...
if you don't feel like you need it, just don't do it - you feel like it's a break and it's your time to think but honestly there are plenty of better ways to get that.

I smoked for 28 years and have now been vaping for over 3 years. I loved smoking, but decent vaping kit means I can have all the benefits with dramatically reduced risks.

I think very, very few people still smoke indoors these days. Even my previously completely incorrigible, virtually lifelong-smoking MIL, after moving house last year, now no longer smokes in her flat.

@16middlenames

Yes, I smoked for 13 years.

Around 40 a day for most of that.

I am not high and mighty; I am just enthusiastic about what a great thing giving up should be. It strikes me as very sad that there are all these people who "tried" to give up... Actually did that very easily, but 15 years on are still talking about missing it.

What a horrible thing.

Oh and I don't smoke in the house, used to when my mum did but actually found that I liked it more outside. I felt really sickly smoking indoors. It helped that when I turned 18 already a smoker the smoking ban was already in effect so never got to smoke indoors at pubs etc.