If you smoke, can I ask why?

[KrayKray00]

I am currently standing in the rain having a cigarette.

I quit for 4 years and was never a heavy smoker. But I have found myself wondering and waiting to have my next "fag".

It started about three weeks ago when I started getting my youngest to sleep in his cot after 2 years of co-sleeping. After about an hour I of getting him to sleep I would then go outside and have a cigerett once he had finally dropped off. Almost like 5 minutes peace and chill out. My children don't know I smoke as I never do it in front of them but I smell, I know I smell horrid, I hate It.

Before if I had been on a night out drinking I could smoke and it wouldn't bother me the next day or whatever it would just be for that night but I have now found myself unable to stop.

Once the children have gone to school or Nursery's I go out for one, if I am a at uni or work I long for one. I have had 6 today and will probably have another one later on.

I am rather fit and go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I even want one when I come out! I have noticed my throat is sore when I wake up too.

I don't feel well I ke I have have been smoking long enough to seek help from the GP and I do not like vaping. But when I do smoke I get like a break is that makes sense? I feel so disgusted in myself and feel like I have let myself down. It doesn't bother me if other people smoke at all but I feel terrible.

If you smoke can I ask you why? Is it habit? Addiction? A release? I want to quit before I get into a deep hole but do not know what to replace it with?!

Also agree with a PP that smoking outside in the cold and rain bundled up in a big coat with a brolly is one of the best smokes... I smoke less when the weather is crap because I can't be bothered to go outside so when I do light up in the rain it's even better for me!

I quit when I got pregnant, beginning of last year, it was horrible I hated every single day of my pregnancy because I just wanted a fag, the cravings eased but never went away. I said the day this baby is born I will have a fag, but then of course ds was born and I breastfed and co slept so resisted the urge but compromised with an ecig. Im addicted to that now but totally happy and would 100% rather have it than a fag. Never say never with vaping, I'd tried it before but hated it- find a decent one and a liquid you like and you'll probably never smoke again -i do still smoke when I drink but only because I wantto not cos I need to, I can leave it well alone the next day. Sure its not the best but its GOT to be better than the real thing

I don't comment on here very often and have only read the first page or so of comments, but I can relate to everything already said.

Smoking (when I started at least) is cool, enjoyable and sociable. The more they try to make it unsociable and unacceptable, the more sociable it seems to be - I have had some great conversations with interesting people in smoking areas I would never otherwise met.

I also find that smoking focuses my brain. I don't want to say it makes me cleverer, but I can definitely solve problems and sort things out while I smoke. Perhaps this is more to do with the break or the peace and quiet of leaving the house to have a smoke more than the actual cigarette itself. But I have given up before (a year was my best effort) and I just felt awful and all of my thoughts were occupied by avoiding smoking - even months after.

I would never recommend starting smoking to anyone and the health risks are proven. But I can definitely understand why smokers still smoke. Even my doctor smokes - he generally discourages it, but actually advised me not to attempt quitting again just yet as he says it is an extremely traumatic emotional and physical experience to go through.

Last time I quit I went to a clinic where the nurse told me that even recovering heroin addicts had found it harder to give up cigarettes than anything else. With information like this it is not hard to see why people still smoke.

In my experience, the only way to stop smoking is to never start. I know a few people who gave successfully stopped and I am in constant awe of them (though one admitted to me recently that even after 30 years he craves).

It is an awful drug, but once hooked has its benefits I reluctantly suppose. I suspect that those benefits are the same as non-smokers take for granted and see as everyday life.

Everything in moderation they say. But for people like me who have addictive personalities nicotine is not something that can be taken in moderation. The chemical, physical, emotional and social elements are so strong.

I hate smoking - I will die sooner because of it. But I love smoking too - I would have limited social life and a diminished career without it. It is a weird thing.

I gave up, and weigh more for it, really isn't about what I eat either, definitely impacted on my metabolism. I often wonder if less smokers = a heavier population. Have we swapped one health problem for another. Gave up yonks ago, still miss it. Would go back to it if only me to think about. Only thing I don't miss is the craving to have one when you know you can't.

ridiculously easy to quit, 3-4 days of irritability and then you're clear. Have done it, and the thought of getting some horrible respiratory diesese or cancer and not seeing my little children grow up hammers it home.

user1492023898

Mostly everything you've written has been lifted directly from Allan Carr's Easyway to stop smoking. Nothing wrong in that, I guess you are wanting to spread a positive message

The only reason people smoke is because they are addicted to nicotine.

But why do people start?

I watched my mum die a long, slow death from a smoking related disease, and it was horrible.

Why do people binge eat themselves into an early grave, knowing the risks?

Why do people drink themselves into an early grave, knowing the risks?

There are a million and one answers to all of those questions and they're normally quite complicated, according to each individual.

I quit years ago using an E.cig but to answer your question, "Why did I start"?

Because smoking was completely 'normal' back then (I'm 48). It was glamourised and advertised everywhere. People smoked on buses/trains/in restaurants/in their homes/offices/staff rooms.

I remember as a primary school child, taking the register to the staff room and being met by a fog of smoke when a teacher opened the door.

Even the maternity hospital had a smoking room for the mothers to be/mothers who had just given birth, when I had my DS 25 years ago!

Everyone knew they 'might' get addicted, but every one of my friends including myself, swore it would never happen to us

Mostly everything you've written has been lifted directly from Allan Carr's Easyway to stop smoking. Nothing wrong in that, I guess you are wanting to spread a positive message

YY I was going to say that earlier

I bought his book. It was a great read and it did change the way I viewed smoking but it didn't help me to give up, in the sense I needed a nicotine replacement and couldn't have done it without (although I did try).

Also the 'after 3 days you're a non smoker' is bollocks.

Nicotine can take up to 3 weeks to leave your body completely, especially if you're a heavy smoker.

Palomb 🚬

I smoke because it mildly lessens the effects of my depression via its effects on dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine.

Also because the pathways in my brain to do with reward have been altered by smoking, which is not something which can be out of your system in three days.

These factors are some of the lesser-known reasons why it can be very hard to stop for some people.

Another fan of the Alan Carr book here. It completely rewired my thinking, especially the chapters about smoking being enjoyable and relaxing.

I totally understand the need for quick time outs to de-stress and break up the day, the key is to find another ritual that relaxes you. Some ideas;

Cup of (herbal?) tea. 5 mins of stretching or yoga. Meditating or deep breathing, there are plenty of apps to guide you. Play a quick game/quiz on your phone or do a sudoku. At home, get up and do something for 5 mins - chores, brush the dog, pick some flowers from the garden.

Started smoking at about 14/15, stealing them from various family members who all smoked so it was easy pickings. Bought my first packet of fags on my 16th Birthday and remember feeling so chuffed

Due to the fact that all of my family and most of my friends were smokers it was always a very social affair, as well as chatting to people outside pubs, LOVED smoking after a nice dinner and whilst drinking.

Smoked about 15-20 per day and tried several times over the next 15 yrs to quit to no avail. Then when I was 30 I got into vaping and loved it immediately. Quit fags without a backwards glance which was very surprising to me. Stopped vaping when I was pregnant and then started again after about 8 weeks post birth.

I've had the 'very' occasional fag with friends, literally about half a dozen over the past 5 years and it's been nice at the time but no desire to start again. Vaping on the other hand, absolutely zero chance of me quitting that.

User149202WHATEVER

"Three days without and then you are clear forever"

"Embarasssing simple"

I'm embarrassed for you because you simply don't have a clue!! Yeah cos it's really that fucking easy.

I started smoking at very early teens 🙊smoked around 10 per day until I was pregnant. When I was pregnant it was around 2 per day which was a really huge struggle. It was constantly on my mind waiting until u could have a fag. Had a horrible birth and was in shock...:: didn't smoke for about 2 months after baby was born. Since then (7 years ago) I'm on 20 per day.

I've always genuinely believed I smoked cos I enjoyed it. That it was a choice.

I have asthma so 100% should not smoke. Got admitted to hosp with a severe chest infection, put on antibiotic drip....:: and snuck out at 1am for a puff 😳it's that bad.

Attempted to give up last Christmas. Got patches etc. That's when it hit home it was an addiction. My mind went mental. It's the hardest thing g to explain.

Back on the fegs now. But still hoping to give up.

rachlooneytune honestly it's not worth getting wound up about the 'It's so simple' posts you sometimes read on here.

It's like posters who tell obese people to 'simply' eat less and move more.

Like they can't get their heads around anything slightly more complicated.

Thanks worral tried to not get wound up but it's soooooooo hard when people make any any addiction seem like it's so easy to overcome.

I also had an obesity problem - which I overcame through the help of slimming world. But at the same time I know rightly this doesn't work for everyone and would never ever proclaim "oh yes 3 days and you are done problem solved"

I never understood addiction until I tried to stop smoking. It's scary

@worraLiberty
Your post may have had an unintentional effect on me.

I was possibly one of those people that considered obesity as an "illness" that was in the most part self inflicted through overindulgence or lack of exercise. Even eating disorders (which I always did recognise as real, terrible illnesses - had experience of this with friends) I considered just a symptom of a wider psychological issue.

But your post that (loosely) compared it to cigarette addiction made me research a little and a found many similarities. Even a quick google search has brought up some interesting facts, research results and information that any reasonable person should have been aware of.

Though I never looked down on anyone who was larger in size before (I'm very much of the opinion that people are just people regardless of shape, size, background, etc.), i have to admit that I was of the opinion that people were of a larger size purely due to taking in more calories than they burned off - I left it at that and explored no further.

Thanks to your post triggering me to see what obesity and over-eating could possibly have in common with a "real" addiction like smoking I have had my eyes opened. Though I like to thonk I have never been cruel to or judged anyone due to their size, I will certainly think twice when I meet large r people fom now on. I have learned that in many cases food acts in the same way as smoking does for me - I now feel I can have a lot more empathy.

When I joined the discussion on this thread I thought I was just joing to come clean with my addiction and get my life with cigarettes so off my chest (excuse the pun). I did not think I was going to have my views changed.

So thanks WorraLiberyy. Also, damn you WorraLiberty - I'm now going to spend a sleepless night worrying if I've ever been needlessly cruel to any sufferers of obesity - I optimistically think (and hope) that I haven't.

I agree it is a scary thing.

Yet food addiction in general stirs massive sympathy/empathy amongst so many Mumsnetters and rightly so.

Baffling though that often the very same Mumsnetters can be seen looking down on nicotine addicts and calling them 'thick' 'smelly' etc...and telling them how 'simple' it is to beat because they know people who managed it.

I can only imagine it's because something like 65% of adults in just England alone, are overweight or obese.

I'm not sure what the current smoking figures are though, but going by Mumsnet alone, I'd say they were far less.

Easy for me to say as I don't smoke - but PLEASE stop if you do.

A waste of money

It's not cool

It makes you smell.

For your own good and for the good of your family stop smoking today and put the cash into something worthwhile.

I know it's a wind down - I know it's habit. But it's False. Nothing good comes from it.

If you stop smoking I'll stop eating cake. Deal.

X posted there LeggyLinda

Mumsnet has taught me a lot about other people's addictions and how some people view them in some sort of weird 'Empathy scale'.

To me, an addiction is an addiction and each person will have a background/history that tells its own story.

One addiction does not trump another, although some MNetters will take it off topic and mention passive smoking versus food addiction.

But that's assuming the smoker forces others to inhale their smoke, which in my experience very few do nowadays.

user plus lots of numbers none of the addicts here care if a random internet person stops eating cake.

Why on earth do you think they would?

Do you want to pop over to the weight loss topic and belittle their addictions too?

A waste of money - So is eating more food than your body needs.

It's not cool - Nor is obesity and btw, do you really think nicotine addicts see themselves as 'cool'?

It makes you smell - As can being very overweight during hot weather.

For your own good and for the good of your family stop smoking today and put the cash into something worthwhile. - Again, same advice to overweight/obese parents who are far more likely to produce overweight/obese children, not to mention diabetes and other horrible life limiting conditions.

I know it's a wind down - I know it's habit. But it's False. Nothing good comes from it. - Again, what good comes from being fat, setting a poor example to your family and possibly limiting your life expectancy and therefore theirs too?

If you stop smoking I'll stop eating cake. Deal. - As I said above, pop over to the weight loss topic and tell them that if they stop over eating you'll stop smoking/drinking/whatever.

See how well that goes down....

But anyway, thanks for proving my point.

@WorraLiberty
I agree it is a very scary (and confusing) thing.

If I am out with people and go outside for a cigarette then apparently it is socially acceptable for me to be quizzed and shamed on my return. Comments like "you are going to die", "haven't you thought about your family?", "you are wasting money just to smell bad", "just give up - it's just willpower" are all too common. However, if I was to say something similar to a larger person (eg. "Think of your heart", "you really don't need that desert" etc) I would be considered an ogre. I am starting to become aware that there is no real difference in these addictions in a lot of cases - perhaps there will become a time when they are seen socially as well as medically similar.

As for the post above (user1465146157), I would disagree that smoking is a waste of money (anymore than anything other than food, warmth and shelter is a waste of money). Also, smoking IS cool - perhaps it's not promoted as such these days, but it definitely was when I started and still is popular and attracts new young people today (even without advertising).

It is not a mere habit. Your quick offer to give up cake suggests you don't understand at all. Though I apologise if you really do have a cake addiction and if this offer is serious then upon evidence of your cake addiction I may take you up on the offer.

I've never smoked but it's nicotine addition. I find it difficult to resist sweet things and the more I think about them the more difficult I find it. Fortunately I'm not overweight and I think nicotine craving is worse than sugar craving but it's still a craving that I need to get to grips with.

Easy for me to say but please consider giving up. My df passed away in January, a year after being diagnosed with lung cancer. The tumour was on his spine, eroding the bone and despite very high levels of pain medication was in agony a lot of the time. It was devasting to see him in such pain and waste away before our eyes.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss Longtime.
I know what you must have went through, I have recently (in the last 2 weeks) lost a very dear friend to cancer who was in excruciating pain in the end - he was a smoker all his life (though it is unclear if the cancer was related to smoking (stomach)).

My grandparents also died early in life (very likely due to smoking) and I have had other friends suffer health issues due to cigarettes/smoking. Does it stop me? You think it would, but unfortunately it doesn't. They only time I ever came close to quitting was when I tried to do it for myself (about a year) and not for any health, financial or social pressure.

I think you will find most smokers have a story like mine. Everyone knows the dangers and the (almost certain reduction in life expectancy) but still do it anyway. This whole attitude goes against my personality and I used to feel bad about myself for it. But I've come I've reluctantly came to the conclusion that it may be better to die at 60 having lived a carefree life than 80 with regrets that I could have enjoyed my time on this planet a bit more. Watching the death of my friend recently made me question this a bit, but even he enjoyed a cigarette on his last day despite Not being able to take food and water - it semed to be hs only comfort other than the morphine.

I am certainly not saying that people should start smoking - I would never recommend that. But just understand that once someone has it is not simply a matter of overcoming a craving (not for many anyway - some people can quit cigarettes as though they are a habit - be that they are strong, or their addiction is low), but it is a serious lifelong relationship for many. Some people have accepted that they will smoke forever and die younger. Dying young (potentially in pain) is a big thing to accept and goes to show how strong this addiction is.

There are probably very few smokers who don't wish they hadn't started. There are also very few smokers who haven't tried stopping at some point(s) in their life. But in my experience the only time I've been happy is when I finally accepted I am a smoker for life and that life expectancy will be shortened as a result. It is an awful thing to come to terms with, but after many painful and wasted months trying to give up I would much rather enjoy the time I have.

I smoke, I enjoy smoking very much, I really like it, I've never tried to stop, I find modern views regarding smoking interesting, I'm smoking a fag right now, in my sitting room.

It will probably take me down, I'd be very fucking surprised if it didn't, I find it much easier to accept one's limitations than to fight them. I find Leggy's mea culpa a bit sad, it's an admission you don't live up to other's expectations, rather than an acceptance of self.

We don't have to conquer our demons to be valid as humans, I know we live in times where it's all about the progression but we're all off to the same place and ultimately there's no fucking moral equivalence as to how we get there.

I smoked for 20 odd years, I didn't want to smoke, I didn't want to start, it was pure peer pressure. As a 13 year old living with aprox 20 other kids, all who smoked, me being the only non smoker I was always offered a cig I always said "no I don't to, I don't like it", so to the other kids I was 'goody 2 shoes' even the staff would offer me a cig, "go on you know you want to, we won't stop you, you will like it" and so on it was never ending until one day I said FFS give me a cig . boom that was it, addicted.

I tried for years to give up using patches, gum, hypnotherapy etc, I would stop for a week, a month, until something would trigger me and I'd reach for the cigs, I hated every cig I put in my mouth, I didn't smoke because I wanted to I smoked purely because I was addicted.

One day I was in town shopping and noticed one of these NHS stop smoking walk in shops, so I went in, they recommended Champix, I got a prescription from my doctor, started taking the tablets, you're supposed to continue smoking for the first 7 days of taking them, but by day 4 I couldn't bear to put a cig near my mouth it was absolutely rank and foul so I stopped, its been a good 10 years, I don't want a cig, I've never wanted a cig, I've never been tempted to have one on a night out or anytime since, thank god for Champix

however I am now addicted to food, I know in my mind I've replaced one addiction for another .. so I'm battling again