If you smoke, can I ask why?

[KrayKray00]

I am currently standing in the rain having a cigarette.

I quit for 4 years and was never a heavy smoker. But I have found myself wondering and waiting to have my next "fag".

It started about three weeks ago when I started getting my youngest to sleep in his cot after 2 years of co-sleeping. After about an hour I of getting him to sleep I would then go outside and have a cigerett once he had finally dropped off. Almost like 5 minutes peace and chill out. My children don't know I smoke as I never do it in front of them but I smell, I know I smell horrid, I hate It.

Before if I had been on a night out drinking I could smoke and it wouldn't bother me the next day or whatever it would just be for that night but I have now found myself unable to stop.

Once the children have gone to school or Nursery's I go out for one, if I am a at uni or work I long for one. I have had 6 today and will probably have another one later on.

I am rather fit and go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I even want one when I come out! I have noticed my throat is sore when I wake up too.

I don't feel well I ke I have have been smoking long enough to seek help from the GP and I do not like vaping. But when I do smoke I get like a break is that makes sense? I feel so disgusted in myself and feel like I have let myself down. It doesn't bother me if other people smoke at all but I feel terrible.

If you smoke can I ask you why? Is it habit? Addiction? A release? I want to quit before I get into a deep hole but do not know what to replace it with?!

TBF Dimples it doesn't sound as though you were that committed.

I suppose that is a fair point to make ILkeyourHairyHands based on my posts on here. I suppose there is a bit of self shame involved with smoking even amongst many who have accepted it. I'm not generally like that in real life, but speaking about the subject online seems to have opened up a few avenues of thought for me that a previously assumed were long since closed.

I had an interesting discussion today Leggy about shame, and how it's used as social behaviour-modifier, and that each generation has behaviours it finds shameful, and consequently tries to mold people through peer pressure.

Personally, I find the concept of shame a load of old bollox.

ILikeyourHairyHands

whatever you say .. obviously you know me better than I do

user1492023898 are you on crack because if your not you really fucking should be that's the biggest load of bullshit I think I've ever heard. It's really not that simple or easy to quit I've tried and failed 3 times and seriously you think you can compare it to tieing your shoes too tight smh.

I do, you have a dimply toad-foot and you were formerly addicted to fags as a result of peer-pressure.

I quit 6 weeks ago by vaping.

It was the habit - it filled time when I was walking somewhere, it gave me a break from work and some time away from essays - like you said a chill 5 min break. It gave me instant satisfaction - so I didn't drink or eat instead .
I started aged 15 at school x

Another fan of the Easy Way method here. OP, it sounds like you already have the right mindset and are sick of the fags - the Easy Way might work for you. If you get the Audible (audiobook) app you can get your first book free so might be worth getting it for free in that format.
It's a little bit dated in places because it was written quite a while ago - needs updating IMO - but still works for a lot of people.

I smoked for many years, from age about 15 until early this year, age 33. I was so wholly and utterly addicted, and I loved my cigarettes. I could have eaten them. I could have chain smoked if it wasn't for the cost and the health implications. I stopped with every pregnancy but every time started again, and also stopped many times as well. I was just hopelessly addicted. I've read the books, done cold turkey, done patches, sprays and gum. I went through a phase last year after quitting for months when having dc3 when I only smoked on Fridays while he was with grandparents- I would smoke 10. I gradually found myself becoming a 'secret smoker' and honestly it was some of the lowest points of my life, sneaking out, making excuses to go out alone and lying. Awful.

I've managed to stop this time because I just tell myself that I don't want to die of cancer, which was fast becoming one of my biggest fears. The change to 20's only has definitely helped, because for a while I was buying 10 on a Friday but running 5 under the tap; no way am I running 15 under the tap and paying a tenner for 5 cigarettes!! Every day I want one. I was out on Saturday and seriously considered having one, another lady in our group was smoking- but I am starting to realise that there is no 'one cigarette' ; not for me at least. I am/was so hopelessly addicted that if I smoke again I will be a smoker, and I don't want to be a smoker anymore.

All I can say op is keep trying. Vape never worked for me, but I know lots of people Will say it's the way to go. It's up to you. I didn't vape because I wanted to be free of smoking- I don't want to spend my life waiting til I can next escape for my fix. I can enjoy things without nicotine now. Those days as a secret smoker were awful because I was constantly on the look out for an opportunity to have a cigarette. Now I just see those opportunities or think 'I would have had one now' but somewhere inside me I have found the strength to say no. I think you have to keep trying until you're ready and eventually it will work.
Keep trying

Going to be brutal. Ignore if you can't take it. My mum smoked since aged 13. Tried to give up a few times in her life. Loved smoking. After Dad died she chain smoked. She had paid extra contributions to her pension so she could enjoy smoking in her retirement. She gave up in her late 70s just after my dd was born. Hadn't managed it for her other grandchildren. She lived another 8 years.
Last October, she died after a long debilitating battle with lung cancer. It was dreadful. She was as sharp as a tack until the last day and knew exactly what was happening to her.
If I could go back in time I would have done anything to stop her earlier.
Watching her take her last painful breath and seeing her heart beat for the last time was ... well, I don't have words.
Any of you who are parents and still smoke are planning this for your children. Don't.
If my mum could give up, could find the will power to do it, you can. She got to see my dd grow a little bit and her other grandchildren become adults. I wish we'd had longer. I'm so grateful that her will power gave us this extra time.

ILikeyourHairyHands

As I said you obviously know me better than I know myself ... but it could be worse, I could be like you

I read Allen Carr's book and smoked more for a few weeks afterwards. I had high hopes of it- people talk about it as if it's some sort of bible- but it did feck all for me. It's no good telling me I'm not giving anything up, that by not smoking I'm not depriving myself of anything, that I can tell myself to enjoy not smoking, that I'm gaining health and freedom rather than losing something. It doesn't work for me at all. I wish it did, but it just makes me cross. I know there are no real benefits to smoking, I know I would gain health and an extra £10 a week and so on if I didn't smoke, I know I feel pleasure when smoking because I am a nicotine addict and smoking a rollie relieves my cravings. I know all that already- if knowing that was enough for me to quit I would have bloody quit years ago.

I'm going to have to try vaping again I think. I have a colleague who is a qualified hypnotherapist who has offered to do a free session for me but I think it would waste his time and just make me cross again (and smoking is something I do when I feel cross!).

Sorry, this has got a bit ranty and ridiculous

strikealight, so sorry to hear about your dm. My df was equally sharp as a tack and knew exactly what was happening. He said to me half way through that dreadful year "well, if you do stupid things, this is what you get". Sad thing is, he adored my dm and would hate to see just how devastated she is, how she is struggling to cope without him. Someone upthread said they would prefer to live to 60 smoking than 80 not (paraphrasing here) but that takes no account of the devastation for the people left behind. I know you can't live your life always thinking of others but I know my df regretted his decision to smoke and asked me countless times to look after my dm, knowing exactly what his death would do to her.

The only people who have the right imo to slag off smokers are people who eat 100% healthily, do loads of exercise, live in the countryside where they can breathe fresh air, don't drink, don't wear high heels or sunbathe or do anything else that affects their health adversely for the sake of convenience or pleasure.

Everyone else can look in the mirror.

Mine Well, no. Everyone deserves the right to slag off people who make stupid choices. The same would apply to people who use tanning beds, who only eat pure shite, and who binge drink regularly.

Wearing heels is hardly comparable

I'm sorry that we disagree.

I quit 12 years ago. I don't miss them at all now. I'm so happy I managed to stop.

I smoked lightly and on and off for about 10 years. My main reason for smoking was to keep my weight down, which worked for me as I could happily replace a meal with a cigarette. I also smoked because I was addicted.

user1492023898, I recognise your quotes from the Allen Carr method and it resonates with me as that's how I quit from being a heavy smoker (years ago when AC was still alive and running the workshops himself).

But that way of seeing only works for some people. For others, it's rubbish because it's not the right quit method for them. Each to their own.

When I smoked, it was because I was addicted and couldn't bear the idea of quitting. I knew intellectually it was an addiction, but told myself it was because I enjoyed it and why shouldn't I? It was only when I got pregnant for the first time that I felt the need to stop.

How ironic I thought I'd pop out for a cig and read all the replies! Thank you for taking your time to tell your stories and sorry to read about the people who have lost love ones from smoking.

I agree with a pp that I'm not fully hooked and stil have time to quit, it costs a fortune! Just under £10 and can't buy packs of 10 anymore! I too think that makes people smoke more.

@alltouchedout Ha! I felt the same with the Allen Carr method. Did not work at all, irritated me no end and was one of those things which made me think 'there are only smokers and non-smokers in the world and I now which group I belong in'! Sanctimonious gubbins.

As I said upthread. I swapped to vaping not by giving up smoking, I could (and still can) have a fag whenever I want, I just have a few puffs on the vape first. I can't remember when I last had tobacco, a good while ago, but I'm not keeping track of it because those sorts of games don't work for me.

How much does it cost for a packet of gags these days?

7.50 the cheapest 😭😭😭

Bloody hell!

Rebel 7.50 which shop/brand - I paid £9 yesterday