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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son 27 bring girl home (1st one deleted)

258 replies

Haribogirl · 09/07/2017 17:58

SO mumsnet emailed me and told me because I havnt answered any comments on the 1st thread people thought I was a troll.
I am most certainly not, reason why didn't reply was....
I'd written it just before I'd gone to bed, because i thought when I get up it will of maybe had some replies. Nothing else.

So fri night son comes in early hours(I half heard him)
Thought it the night I kept hearing the bathroom door being closed.
I thought he'd eaten one thing and had diarrhoea!!
So was in and out of sleep most of the night.

I woke up to hear him going down about 10ish and saying "going to get something to ear"

Partner came up to bring me coffee(he'd been up early)
So I said what the hell was all that noise with the doors last night.
He said you don't know, ..... bought a girl home, I've not slept all night with the noise and them talking and s..... till 5 ish

Well I was livid, he said he'd never do this although most of his mates do and I said no you won't.
When he came back, I went mad at him, told him he's no respect for us and if he want to do that go get a hotel room. It's our house not his and his room is still in our house.

Am I old fashioned (60)

OP posts:
RoseVase2010 · 10/07/2017 10:21

I'm surprised he can still get a shag if he's 27 and inviting them back to his parent's house!

RebelRogue · 10/07/2017 10:59

Oh surprise surprise OP disappears again. At least this time she did post one reply.

16middlenames · 10/07/2017 12:20

Why post at all if you think you weren't being unreasonable? Bore off.

MatildaTheCat · 10/07/2017 12:28

I can't get past the fact that you didn't wake up until 10am. Grin

Banging about all night making a noise is U but the gender of his guest is his business. He needs to move out and leave you in peace.

MommaGee · 10/07/2017 12:34

Tbh I'm 35 qbf if I had to move back in with my parents I would not be bringing random men back and shagging them loudly all night. I think it's really disrespectful.

Got forbid he should have to put other peoples thoughts and feelings ahead of his own penis

Jayfee · 10/07/2017 16:23

love momma gees post!!

Gottagetmoving · 10/07/2017 17:20

Gottagetmoving not encouraging g at all god you're as out of touch as the OP, I'd have done it anyway just in secrecy. You sound very ignorant

Allowing a 15 year old child to sleep with her boyfriend in your home IS encouraging it!

So, what age would you think was inappropriate? Your child insists they want sex at 12...is that ok?
You are the one out of touch if you think a 15 year old is ready for a sexual relationship...That is why it is not legal. Parenting is about keeping a child safe physically and emotionally, not letting them think it's ok to do whatever the hell they like.
I have no doubt that there are kids younger than 15 having sex but I would think their parents had gone wrong somewhere along the way.

Gottagetmoving · 10/07/2017 17:22

I think ignorance best describes your attitude.

Buthewasstillhungry · 10/07/2017 17:32

Wow gotta I'm just so glad you were not my mother and so glad my parents were forward thinking intelligent people.
Loads of my friend's parents had the same attitude as you and ended up having numerous abortions between them.

Gottagetmoving · 10/07/2017 18:00

Wow gotta I'm just so glad you were not my mother and so glad my parents were forward thinking intelligent people.Loads of my friend's parents had the same attitude as you and ended up having numerous abortions between them
You know loads of 15 year olds who had abortions because their parents wouldn't let them have sex at home? Ha ha!
Where the hell did you live?
Some of my daughter's friends had mother's with the same attitude as yours and some were pregnant before they were 17.
It's not intelligent to allow a 15 year old child to have sex in your home. Education should start younger than 15 and you teach a child to respect themselves and others. Do you realise that many 15 year olds and younger are pressured to have sex by their boyfriend? They don't admit they are being pressured. If you can't teach them to wait until they are the legal age there is something wrong.

sodablackcurrant · 10/07/2017 18:09

I often wonder how many parents whatever age would just rock up to their kids houses/flats, kip down have noisy sex and just generally be totally unaware of their surroundings.

Answer honestly now!

One way street is fine, but two way may not be. Oh the embarrassment of your parents having it off in your flat/house. How awful!

Double standards.

bonfireheart · 10/07/2017 18:14

What I don't get is, regardless of him being 27 or living at home or having a girl over...why were they going to the toilet so much? Am I missing something? Just one extra person in your house shouldn't mean that the bathroom door is making such a racket all night.
And I'm not sure what you want from mumsnet? To agree with you or disagree with you? To give you advice on how to handle?

JustArandomUser · 10/07/2017 19:11

why were they going to the toilet so much?
Presumably there had been some drinking going on?

MommaGee · 10/07/2017 19:19

Re toilet I assume maybe pre sex wee, post sex wee and clean up all done separately? That four. Then seconds.... Two more clean ups??

laurelstar · 10/07/2017 22:27

They were going to the toilet so much because they were both smashed! It's obvious.

laurelstar · 10/07/2017 22:28

soda Good point! Double standards.

justwondering212 · 10/07/2017 22:38

I do wonder when some feel it would be acceptable, because whilst I haven't had anyone back, I'm a similar age , i live at home but I'm my DM primary carer. Her house her rules but if I didn't live here I wouldn't be able to care for her and she couldn't afford a carer. This looks the likely set up for the long term foreseeable future. If I met someone if they had a place I could go there perhaps but even so because of my mums care needs it couldn't be an all night sleeping over thing. And I'm a bit past shagging in the bushes.

Now I'm not saying I would abandon her for a shag, but I do think it's ,a valuable consideration.

IloveBanff · 10/07/2017 22:43

I can't understand why so many posters are referring to noisy sex and how unacceptable it is, when all the OP heard was the bathroom door. Confused

MommaGee · 10/07/2017 23:11

ilovebanff
""He said you don't know, ..... bought a girl home, I've not slept all night with the noise and them talking and shagging till 5 ish""

mumeeee · 10/07/2017 23:16

You are old fashioned although it would have been polite of him to say he was bringing someone back. DD2 is 27 and living with her boyfriend. They share a room when they are here

MommaGee · 10/07/2017 23:22

justwondering212 your circumstances are different and I don't think it world's be unreasonable to bring home a girlfriend /boyfriend. But not a 1 night stand

INeedToEat · 10/07/2017 23:24

Ds1 is 26 and lives at home. I don't care who he is fucking or if it's in my home, but if I have enough consideration to keep the 'noice' down, when I have company .. so should he.

harleysmammy · 10/07/2017 23:27

Am I being stupid, but where is he supposed to have sex and be with a girl if he lives at home?? If you don't like it, make him move out. He's 27

INeedToEat · 10/07/2017 23:31

Noise * bloody phone !

user1493630944 · 10/07/2017 23:35

I predict son will shortly move out and go NC. OP will later appear on Gransnet complaining about how badly her son has treated her, and that she cannot understand why he wants no contact.