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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Son 27 bring girl home (1st one deleted)

258 replies

Haribogirl · 09/07/2017 17:58

SO mumsnet emailed me and told me because I havnt answered any comments on the 1st thread people thought I was a troll.
I am most certainly not, reason why didn't reply was....
I'd written it just before I'd gone to bed, because i thought when I get up it will of maybe had some replies. Nothing else.

So fri night son comes in early hours(I half heard him)
Thought it the night I kept hearing the bathroom door being closed.
I thought he'd eaten one thing and had diarrhoea!!
So was in and out of sleep most of the night.

I woke up to hear him going down about 10ish and saying "going to get something to ear"

Partner came up to bring me coffee(he'd been up early)
So I said what the hell was all that noise with the doors last night.
He said you don't know, ..... bought a girl home, I've not slept all night with the noise and them talking and s..... till 5 ish

Well I was livid, he said he'd never do this although most of his mates do and I said no you won't.
When he came back, I went mad at him, told him he's no respect for us and if he want to do that go get a hotel room. It's our house not his and his room is still in our house.

Am I old fashioned (60)

OP posts:
bluediamonds · 09/07/2017 18:09

Yanbu! And I'm in my 40's and if that's being old fashioned then so be it. It's definitely not something I would have done to my parents or would expect my kids to do to me.

PortiaCastis · 09/07/2017 18:09
Grin
ChasedByBees · 09/07/2017 18:10

Super old fashioned!

Do you want your son to have a relationship or stay single for life?

TryHarderWillis · 09/07/2017 18:10

27 😂

Glumglowworm · 09/07/2017 18:11

Oh lord, not again!

Yes YABU

Hes 27. He should move out of mummy's house then he can do what he wants and you don't have to know about it.

Littlechocola · 09/07/2017 18:12

He's a man!
Would you rather he conducted his 'affairs' in an alley?

ilovesooty · 09/07/2017 18:13

Surely it isn't a good idea to post the whole thread again if MNHQ have already removed the original one?

Whisky2014 · 09/07/2017 18:13

Why are you embarrassed by sex?

caffeinestream · 09/07/2017 18:13

Eh, your house, your rules. If he doesn't like it, he's more than capable of moving out and having sex in his own house.

Sunnymorningwithbacon · 09/07/2017 18:15

Hasn't he got a car to shag in?

Yes you are old fashioned !! 😂😂😂

OohMavis · 09/07/2017 18:17

Yes yes, but did he clean his room, OP? Like a good boy?

Gottagetmoving · 09/07/2017 18:17

I don't think he should bring some random girl home for sex in your house.
I don't think it's ok to have some stranger in your house you are not aware is there.
If he has a relationship with someone and you have met them or know they will be staying over that's ok.
If you expect him never to bring anyone home to stay ever then YABU....but he should let you know first.

Teddy7878 · 09/07/2017 18:18

I was allowed to have my boyfriend to stay over at my parents house in my bed when I was 18. I'm not sure my parents would have been overly thrilled if I had been bringing back a one night stand to their house, but I moved out when I was 19 so I could do as I pleased.

Maudlinmaud · 09/07/2017 18:19

Stayed over at my in laws house many times before we got married. What's the big deal?

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 09/07/2017 18:19

Bloody hell ive got Déjà vu today. Confused

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2017 18:19

I believe there were plenty of comments on the deleted thread stating clearly they wouldn't be happy with him bringing a girl home for a ONS. A girlfriend is different.

Was this a girl he took back a girlfriend or a ONS?

EmmanuelleMumsnet · 09/07/2017 18:21

Hi there,

I just wanted to confirm that the OP has been around a good while and we have no reason to suspect it is a troll.

We deleted last night's thread as it generated a LOT of reports, and we emailed the OP to find out what was going on and why they hadn't returned to the thread - they replied as stated in the OP, that they had gone to bed and we did say it would be ok to post again if they still wanted advice.

Hope this helps. As you were (kind of!).

NoLoveofMine · 09/07/2017 18:21

Actually it would definitely be reasonable for the OP to feel uncomfortable if her 27 year old son is bringing a "girl" back.

Twinkleheth · 09/07/2017 18:21

I am mid 40s and would not like this. The difference for me is it's a potential one might stand, not his girlfriend. I have a 20 year old DD and her GF is welcome and stays over whenever they Ike. However, I would not agree to one night stands - I also have 2 younger DDs 16 and 8 and the rules will apply to them too. It's not about the 27 year old having a sex life, it's bringing strangers home in the middle of the night.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 09/07/2017 18:21

SO mumsnet emailed me and told me because I havnt answered any comments on the 1st thread people thought I was a troll.

Because you are at Mumsnetters' beck and call, and if you aren't available at all hours to respond to comments, then you are a troll.

Out2pasture · 09/07/2017 18:22

NO you are reasonable with reasonable expectations of a 27 year old man not a randy pimple faced teen.
Your 27 year old needs to place her in separate rooms/bed or get a hotel room.

ArchieStar · 09/07/2017 18:22

Double standards. YABU.

nornironrock · 09/07/2017 18:22

My issue would be that someone was brought back very late at night, with no notice, whilst the rest of the household was asleep. And yes, I know that when we were 27, young free and single, notice wasn't always possible. But in that case, what's wrong with her place?

The concept of not allowing a 27yr old to live like an adult in general though is old fashioned.

HoneyIshrunktheBiscuit · 09/07/2017 18:24

Yes YABU

He's 27. It's his home too. You are 60 - not 182.

jamdonut · 09/07/2017 18:27

Well I think I'm old fashioned. I wouldn't like it....well not with a partner he hadn't known for a while. It is my house, and those are my conditions. My eldest has now moved into his own flat. All is well, he can do what he likes.