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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Son 27 bring girl home (1st one deleted)

258 replies

Haribogirl · 09/07/2017 17:58

SO mumsnet emailed me and told me because I havnt answered any comments on the 1st thread people thought I was a troll.
I am most certainly not, reason why didn't reply was....
I'd written it just before I'd gone to bed, because i thought when I get up it will of maybe had some replies. Nothing else.

So fri night son comes in early hours(I half heard him)
Thought it the night I kept hearing the bathroom door being closed.
I thought he'd eaten one thing and had diarrhoea!!
So was in and out of sleep most of the night.

I woke up to hear him going down about 10ish and saying "going to get something to ear"

Partner came up to bring me coffee(he'd been up early)
So I said what the hell was all that noise with the doors last night.
He said you don't know, ..... bought a girl home, I've not slept all night with the noise and them talking and s..... till 5 ish

Well I was livid, he said he'd never do this although most of his mates do and I said no you won't.
When he came back, I went mad at him, told him he's no respect for us and if he want to do that go get a hotel room. It's our house not his and his room is still in our house.

Am I old fashioned (60)

OP posts:
PollyPerky · 11/07/2017 08:41

Am I being stupid, but where is he supposed to have sex and be with a girl if he lives at home?? If you don't like it, make him move out

Well frankly this is HIS problem not his parent's.
I don't see why when reaching a certain age, whatever it may be, a child at home feels they can rub their parent's noses in their sex lives.

The reason most young people move out or want to is so they can have a sex life away from their parents- and their parents can have one too.

As to where can he have sex- well surely as it takes 2 people to have sex, the women have homes either of their own, or they live with their parents.

Tealdeal747 · 11/07/2017 08:46

Why is he living at home?

Time to downsize!

MommaGee · 11/07/2017 09:43

*Why is he living at home?

Time to downsize!*

Yeah who care if he can't afford his own place? Frankly I'd rather see my child out on the streets than loving with me past 18. And tbh they can cut us this Mom crap too past that age, it implies a level of commitment to their welfare from me that is frankly absurd. Nothing teaches you responsibility like full emancipation from your parents as an 18tu birthday present

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/07/2017 10:53

"...Nothing teaches you responsibility like full emancipation from your parents as an 18th birthday present..."

Dammit, @MommaGee - I wish I'd known this years ago - the dses are all over 18, and I missed out on giving them the perfect present! WinkGrin

MommaGee · 11/07/2017 12:04

I hope you still had the decency to kick them out??

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/07/2017 12:27

I tried - they keep coming back!

HipsterHunter · 11/07/2017 12:40

27 year old still living at home

Terribly unattractive.

demirose87 · 11/07/2017 12:54

I suppose it's not unusual for a 27 year old to be still living at home, it may not be an option financially, but I think if you find yourself an adult still living in your parent's house, you respect them and that means keeping your room clean without having to be told and not bringing women home for sex if your parents are not ok with this. You can't treat your parents home as you would your own home where you would be living alone.

MommaGee · 11/07/2017 12:55

Personally I'm much more interested in personality, SOH, financial responsibility than how big someone's house is. There also a guy upstream who is a similar age and has to be at home because he is a carer for his mother.

PollyPerky · 11/07/2017 13:15

THERE ARE 3.3 MILLION ADULT CHILDREN UP TO AGE 35 LIVING AT HOME IN THE UK.

And yes, I am shouting because no one has RTFT and seen the previous thread/ stats on it.

This is the reality for a lot of new graduates who cannot afford rent or a mortgage in the south of England.

How can you have missed this? It's been in the media non-stop for a few years now.

DownstairsMixUp · 11/07/2017 13:19

You always get posters on these threads who say their parents allowed them to have sex at 15 because they would of done it in a dust bin or something, says more about what they taught them imo. I had to wait till I was 16 and been with them minimum six months, theres no way I would of gone off and done it in a field wtf?! I was pretty embarassed by my body at that age so god knows who all these people are who would of a shagged im an alley way cos their parents said no. So weird. As for the all the ones who weren't allowed having abortions what the actual fuck Grin 😂😂

On to original post. If op ever returns if this is a one night stand no i dont think your old fashioned. I wouldnt want strangers in my house either! If it is a girlfriend then I'm afraid your being a bit ott about it but they should be keeping the noise down. Costs nothing to have respect for others.

DownstairsMixUp · 11/07/2017 13:20

Final point the digs about him being 27 at home. I'm 30 and rent. I will never afford to buy my own home and know people who can't afford rent. It's quite normal.

Buthewasstillhungry · 11/07/2017 15:00

DownstairsMixUp would have not of.

DownstairsMixUp · 11/07/2017 15:40

Sorry but, if someone has enough time on their hands to correct grammar and spelling on a post on a forum i will automatically make sure I spell things wrong and add random, punctuation! Just to really annoy them. 🙈;-)

HipsterHunter · 11/07/2017 15:43

This is the reality for a lot of new graduates who cannot afford rent or a mortgage in the south of England

Can't afford a mortgage or to rent a nice apartment for themselves, probably not.

If a 27 year old graduate can not afford to house share (even in london) then TBH they haven't done very well.

Gottagetmoving · 11/07/2017 18:04

Sorry but, if someone has enough time on their hands to correct grammar and spelling on a post on a forum i will automatically make sure I spell things wrong and add random, punctuation! Just to really annoy them

Ha,...I like it! .....and I'm one of those who cringe at 'would of'
I shall try to ignore it in future Grin

sodablackcurrant · 11/07/2017 18:35

Turn it around.

If Mum and DP went go to son's house, no notice, (when he gets the cojones to move out) and make noise and embarrass them with their antics would that be OK. Should son complain?

demirose87 · 11/07/2017 19:02

Yes he should. When it's his house he can do whatever he likes.

sodablackcurrant · 11/07/2017 19:09

demirose,

the converse has to be true also. lol.

Hallomiaddicted · 11/07/2017 19:25

HipsterHunter you are very disrespectful. It is really difficult for those without rich parents to rent their own place and live a decent life. How nasty and judgemental of you

Crumbs1 · 11/07/2017 19:59

I'm old fashioned too. We welcome boyfriends/girlfriends and I even make up the beds but we'd be very unhappy about an unknown girl/boy being brought to our house for an overnight stay. We firmly believe that sex should be saved for committed relationships with the relationship coming before the sex. We'd expect our own children to respect our views in our house. Fortunately they appear to share our perspective and don't like the idea of casual sex anymore than we do.
Tell him you a bit more consideration.

IloveBanff · 12/07/2017 13:02

This was discussed on The Wright Stuff this morning. I didn't catch much of the discussion but a bloke in the audience said his parents not only didn't mind him bringing someone home for sex, but he can make as much noise as he likes and they ask him "How was it?" in the morning! The reaction to that seemed to be "TMI".

user1495451339 · 12/07/2017 13:11

YANBU -
I don't think there is a problem with living at home at any age but he has to respect your house rules if he is living with you. Hate all these comments about the age people are expected to have their own place. My children will always be welcome in my house (though their girlfriends may not always be!) and I expect there will be a lot of leaving and returning as they sort their education and careers out.

Buthewasstillhungry · 12/07/2017 15:57

This thread was started by The Wright Stuff show's producer.
Just saying.

Whichwayyisup · 12/07/2017 15:59

What? You mean the op is a producer for wright stuff?

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