Son 27 bring girl home (1st one deleted)

[Haribogirl]

SO mumsnet emailed me and told me because I havnt answered any comments on the 1st thread people thought I was a troll.
I am most certainly not, reason why didn't reply was....
I'd written it just before I'd gone to bed, because i thought when I get up it will of maybe had some replies. Nothing else.

So fri night son comes in early hours(I half heard him)
Thought it the night I kept hearing the bathroom door being closed.
I thought he'd eaten one thing and had diarrhoea!!
So was in and out of sleep most of the night.

I woke up to hear him going down about 10ish and saying "going to get something to ear"

Partner came up to bring me coffee(he'd been up early)
So I said what the hell was all that noise with the doors last night.
He said you don't know, ..... bought a girl home, I've not slept all night with the noise and them talking and s..... till 5 ish

Well I was livid, he said he'd never do this although most of his mates do and I said no you won't.
When he came back, I went mad at him, told him he's no respect for us and if he want to do that go get a hotel room. It's our house not his and his room is still in our house.

Am I old fashioned (60)

Op have you gone to bed again?

Wtf? Get a grip

Did you see any of the replies in the last thread op?

I'm sorry but I don't think it's reasonable at all to say the OP or any parent should sit back and allow adult children to have sex in their parent's homes.
They are the parents.
It's their home.
Paying 'board and lodging' money does not give the 'lodger' carte blanche to do what they like.

FWIW when DH and I were weeks away from our wedding, we went to stay at my parents and were not allowed to share a room. This was a long time ago. Had we shared a room we'd have been respectful and not had sex, noisy or otherwise. In the years since , we have never had sex in other people's / family homes, as guests.

I don't think many parents are comfortable with hearing their children having sex and vice versa.

If he pays rent, he should be able to take a partner home. He pays rent to be allowed to do what he wants (within reason) in his room. I would say bringing someone home a night is within reason.
If he doesn't pay rent or any kind of keep that's a whole other conversation.
My mum wouldn't let us share a room with our partners unless we were married, although after 4 years of then DBf and I living together she gave in as we didn't have enough spare beds. But I didn't pay rent as I would just be home for the weekend. Her house, her room in that situation.

PollyPerky - but this isn't someone else's home, this is his home. He doesnt have somewhere else to go for a shag and then just not do it on the rare occasion he's staying at his parents.

This is one of the many reasons it's good for adults to live away from their parents, parents often don't find it easy to see that they are sharing their home with another adult, not their 'child' and said child usually ends up in a more of a teenage lifestyle than is healthy.

So you start another thread and still don't come back to it?

Why does paying his parents give him a right to anything?
Explain please.

This is not a contract as in a business transaction.
There are family dynamics.

To reduce it to 'I pay rent so can do what the hell I want in your home' is absurd.

Would you say the same about wild parties? Smoking dope? Getting a load of drunk mates round ?

There have to be rules that suit everyone.

Parent makes them- their home- children accept or move out.

I agree with OP.

If it was discussed and agreed fine, not fine on a one off or random, where they are making noise and disrupting the house.

It's just manners really.

Anyway, wtf is a 27 year old man living at home for? OP do you do his washing and make his dinner. lol.

Manners maketh man. It is not his house it is yours. Your rules.

Ok, no I havnt gone again or to bed.
I've been reading through the replies

First, ok age is not an issue I just put it down.
Ok I'm old fashioned, must be the way I've been brought up!
Off course he meets girls, yes he as brought them home when he was younger.
He's never had a girlfriend for months though, he did say that this girl he'd seen for a few weeks whilst out.
Off course he as sex, I'm not a prude. I would never have sex in my bf house let alone sleep in the same room. Shy,embarrassed whatever that's me

So last post then as I seem to get people's back up.

Yes it's my house, my rules. If it was long term gf it would of been different. The noise was ridiculous
, in and out bathroom banging doors. No way would anybody put up and not say anything. Which I did!

Would you prefer he has sex in the alley then op? Or his car? You can ask for notice if he is bringing someone back but you cannot expect to control his sex life.

Like i said on your last thread, if he is paying rent, then he should be able to bring back whoever he wants to his own room. It's his home, and he's paying to live there. If he was in a flat share paying rent for a room he could bring girls back for sex every night if he wanted

Rubbish! It's the family home owned by his parents not a hotel or a rented room with a tenancy agreement.
It's his mother's home and if he doesn't like her rules he should leave.
I let my daughter have her boyfriend stay over because she was in a relationship. No way would I have let her bring random blokes back without me knowing....and she paid plenty of board money to live at home.

No, it's not HIS home. It's his parents as they have paid the mortgage or the rent. It's his place of residence to be precise. He doesn't own it.

Being 27, 37, 47, doesn't give a 'child' the right to do what they want in their parent's home.

Different strokes for different folks, innit?

When 19yr old son, on holiday from uni, brought home a girl for the night - and kept waking me up -I'd already laid out the makings of a Full English on the kitchen counter. When DS appeared to make coffee for them next morning, I told him "here,cook yer breakfast. You can't shag all night on a coffee and a fag".

That summer, we got through a lot of bacon and eggs...

OMG! I had my boyfriend to stay at my parent's house when I was 15 and we had sex all night long You are very old fashioned indeed!

So OP what next?
Is he going to move out? Can he afford rent?
Are you happy if it's long term girlfriend?
If not then he will have to pay for a night at the Premier Inn (where other guests will also complain and get a refund if he disturbs their sleep!) or go to the girl's home.

At 27 he is old enough to find a place to have sex that is not under his parent's noses.

Why have you bothered posting? You know how you feel, you don't seem to want other people's opinions on the matter.

OMG! I had my boyfriend to stay at my parent's house when I was 15 and we had sex all night long You are very old fashioned indeed

You must have shit parents.

Op, I'm in my fifties and pretty staid on lots of things.
I would have already had the conversation with my 27 year old son about what was acceptable and what wasn't about bringing people home.
TBH at 27, I'd expect him to be a bit more mature about it but I wouldn't be so outraged I wouldn't let him bring someone home.
If we are being picky, in your previous post, you referred to your other half as your partner and not your husband. If you were really super stuffy about it you wouldn't be having a live in sexual relationship with someone you are not married to.
Just to be clear: I Don't Give A Stuff Whether Couples Are Married Or Not As Long As They Are Good To And For Eachother.

So is it the keeping you awake with the noise and slamming doors that you're pissed off about or the girl?
Because I don't blame you at all for being raging about the noise and finding that unacceptable. That's just basic respect.
If he had brought this girl home and they had been quiet and had you known that they were dating would you have been ok with it?

I don't think it is straightforward. I mean if you are objecting to him having sex yes YABU. If they had a mad noisy sex marathon then no I don't think YABU. Who want's their mum listening to noisy sex?

Sorry, there is no way that bringing random women home to your parents is acceptable with no notice whatsoever. Such sense of entitlement!

Get out my man and live a life outside your parents house. Why are you still there FGS at late twenties?

Oh I get it, it's handy, it's cheap, I can do what I like, my parents pay for everything.

I wouldn't as a woman be comfortable with going to my BFs if it was his parent's home either. EEEW. Girlfriend has no sense of space either.

Kick him out stat.

I think maybe find out if it was a one night stand or is going to be a regular girlfriend. There's a difference. I think it disrespectful to bring a one night stand who is a stranger into their parents home especially when making so much noise, if he wants to pick up random women then he should move out, he's 27 for goodness sake. But if its a partner, I think you should come to a compromise.

I guess they'd had a few drinks too?

Op: you're wrong. That's about the gist of it.