For making DP's sister's come and pick up their children?

[Boggysib]

We were on holiday and visiting points of interest. DP is from the area - we live two hours away and were staying in an hotel along with our kids aged 6 and 1.

We arrived at a certain historical place and were trekking over to its play area. We were about to eat our picnic when it became apparent that our niece (3) and nephews (5 & 2) had been left with us to look at after as only DP's mum arrived.

Both dp and I were BUSY taking turns with the 1 year old.

DP's mum and was chasing after the 3yo while the 2yo was restrained in his buggy the whole time (2 hours or so). He doesn't get let out anywhere. He is a handful and tends to hit other children. I did not feel comfortable letting him loose. He got no interaction the whole time we were at the play area. I gave him a banana and topped up his water bottle.

So it turns out DP's sister's were away - one getting hair done, other cleaning house.

I messaged them both saying one of your children has been abandoned, the other being chased by your mum so she hasn't had a the chance to eat her lunch. I didn't come on holiday for this.....

We didn't get to to do what we had planned that day because we had to babysit their children. They obviously cannot be bothered with their children and dump them on DP's mum at any opportunity.

Wibu for thinking we shouldn't have been put in that position?

How do you know kids were 'palmed off' rather than mil inviting them?
How would they have known mil could not cope?

"It wasnot some random child - it was his nephew, who had been left in his care."

They are random adults as far as the child is concerned. Lots of small children don't like strangers.

The little boy sounds a lot like my DD3, and she'd hate having someone she didn't know picking her up, and trying to play with her.

YANBU.

Different if they had asked YOU to babysit AND you had agreed to. If the sisters need help surely they can time it around one another so MIL doesn't get overwhelmed and leaves 2/3 of the childcare to others who are meant to be out on a family day on their holiday.

The rest is just irrelevant.

Bloody hell officer, if the op sounds angry it's because you and a few others are making up some fairy story around a few facts. Lucky you for being so perfect that you could take on 3 relatively unknown children and make it a day of sunshine.

Officer, no 'rancid jealousy' from me. I have shit loads of regular childcare from my parents. I still think it's wrong to expect OPs mil to cope with all 3 and for sils to just assume the OP will muck in. She is on holiday, she doesn't want to!

I would have told all the children 'We are going to play on the little kids play park (if there is one)or in this area for a bit' until the 1 and 2 yo had had a play, and then put them both in buggies and gone as a group to the bigger kids play area

Its not u to want to go on holiday, see family but not take responsibility for neices and nephews.

YANBU
There are tons of threads on MN where the OP is told 'WTF is wrong with you? Stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself'

You did what needed to be done. Why should your holiday be spoiled?

My DB has form for this. I used to do a 600 mile round trip to see my family. They live in a holiday area so clearly thought they were doing me a favour by allowing me to use up all my annual leave to shlep down to be in their general vicinity twice a year.

DB would arrange to meet us with his kids and that would eventually morph into him dropping them off at what ever activity we had arranged.

The kids were lovely but I didn't want to baby sit for him whilst looking after mine too.

I don't know why people are getting on at op saying they should have been able to manage the kids. Whether they could have managed or not is besides the point. They didn't agree to look after them.
Presumably they wanted to be able to focus their attention on their own children during their family time together.
Mil shouldn't agree to have children she can't manage. SILs shouldn't take advantage. None of this is ops fault

Two reasonably behaved school age children can surely be watched from a distance leaving three adults to provide one to one interaction with the other three children and occasional interaction with the older 2. E.g., they could have sat with op to eat their picnic, played for a while, chatting to other adults and children periodically.

Op you chose to behave badly towards small children-leaving one in a pushchair for two hours! - who are part of your family because of your relationship with other family members.

YABU.

I feel so upset at the thought of a two year old kept in a pushchair for two hours whilst watching other children playing.

Behavioural issues?! No wonder!

It's going to play on my mind all day. 🙁

Op I think officer has hit the nail on the head.

Are you on holiday or visiting family in your head and what way do your dp family view it?

YANBU OP. Helping each other out and mucking in with family is not the same as having the sisters' kids put in the mix without their parents. It changes the whole dynamic.
You're entitled to enjoy your days out with your kids without any additional stress.

"Today 12:38 OfficerVanHalen

Honestly, i think you should decide whether you are visiting family and want to be treated as such (mucking in with regular family stuff, minding yr own business about other people's childcare arrangements etc) or whether you're expecting to be The Honoured Guests On Their Special Holiday That Everything Must Be Great For."

They were staying in a hotel

You could have mucked in and helped

Why? The sisters aren't mucking in and helping - their expectation is free childcare - cheeky bitches!!

Why aren't the sisters monding OPs kids? Or mucking in helping?

OP you did the right thing -

Staying in a hotel just means that they are not able to be put up by family.

The op needs to look to the attitude she and her dp have to this trip vs what his family think.

But they weren't on holiday visiting the family! They were just on holiday and happened to have a day out near mil so invited her
As a pp said why should they muck in when the sils don't?

And why not able?
I prefer staying in a hotel to staying with family

I think you did the right thing calling them out. I do think your dh should have looked after the 2 yr old though.

It really annoys me when people dump their children on you. Sil/brother do this. Including day of my stepfathers funeral so they could drink does the pub. Left with my mother (i.e. The grieving widow) and me (disabled daughter). I didn't make a fuss because I was aiming for calm. Sil doesn't do calm... neither does brother. She even bitched about how we looked after him and screamed at my dd.