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AIBU?

Rearranged family lunch and uncontactable family member

166 replies

Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 11:20

I'm meant to be meeting up with a close family member for lunch at 1 today.

I bought this lunch for them two Christmasses ago (Christmas 2015), and the agreement was always that we would go together. As we didn't book it in within a specific time window, I then had to pay a bit to extend the lunch voucher.

In April this year, we finally booked a date for the lunch - a Saturday a few weekends ago. A week before the Saturday, I remind the family member about the lunch and she tells me that she double-booked and can't go to the lunch, as she has now made plans for that Saturday to go away with friends for a birthday weekend.

Fine. So we rearrange the lunch for 1pm today. I texted the family member a couple of hours ago to ask where we should meet, and haven't got a reply. I've just tried to ring her a couple of times, and still no reply.

WWYD?

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Crunchymum · 08/07/2017 21:48

It's by the by now anyway.

It all worked out for the OP.

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frieda909 · 08/07/2017 22:27

So sorry Dumbledoresgirl!

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 22:37

Wow. That was a rollercoaster and a half of a thread. It actually felt like a personal attack at times (I'm not being dramatic - it made me cry).

To make it clear to every single person who posted on this thread (because I don't think I made myself clear), my AIBU was a WWYD. It was this: my sister isn't up yet, and we have a meal together in a couple of hours. How can I help her get up in time for the meal?

Yet some of you chose to also tell me helpfullythat my present to my sister was really, really crap That's a really hurtful thing to say. If your DD, Dsis, DH, DP or anyone you were close to spent time and money choosing a gift for you, are you seriously telling me that you would say to them, 'oh, that's a crap present!'

Yet you've never even met me and still you feel the need to chip in that you think my present's crap. The present's not even for you - it's for my sister, who you've never actually met.

How is that fair or acceptable to insult my choice of present? It sure is a lovely way of building someone up, guys .

I started this thread to get some support but didn't think it would descend into a bloody bunfight.

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 22:40

Oh, and some of you are doubting that I even made it to the meal with my sister because I was still posting on the thread at 1pm today

What is it with everyone on this thread wanting to catch me out?

Is this Mumsnet or a website for twelve year old Mean Girls??

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 22:41

I'm just glad I provided a nice little afternoon of entertainment for you all.

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BillyDaveysDaughter · 08/07/2017 22:53

I'm also glad that I (and a number of other posters) bothered to say something kind and supportive amongst the other stuff, which you have completely ignored in your quest to be as butt hurt as possible. Fuck this I'm sick of being so bloody nice.

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 22:56

Billy I'm so so sorry for how my last few posts came across. I really didn't mean to upset you

Thank you so much for your kind post I really did appreciate it, as well as the support of several other posters. It meant a lot.

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BillyDaveysDaughter · 08/07/2017 22:58

Awww Pom. . You're alright. Rise above it all.

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Lostinaseaofbubbles · 08/07/2017 23:03

I'm not a twin.

But I am crap with Vouchers - they always expire on me.

And I'm crap at making plans to meet up with people.

Nice lunch/afternoon tea out sounds lovely and if I like the person enough that they're buying me a gift which I accept then I'd probably be happy to go with the gift-giver (if I don't like them enough to have lunch with them then I probably shouldn't be accepting gifts from them...). I would still be crap at arranging it though and the voucher would probably expire on me!

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5foot5 · 08/07/2017 23:03

I am glad you have had your afternoon tea and I hope you both enjoyed it.

I can't believe the hard time you have had on here. I guess you were unlucky to catch mumsnet in one of "those" moods.

FWIW I don't think there is anything at all unusual about this sort of gift. I would be thrilled if someone planned to take me out for tea as a gift. In fact I know my sisters have bought this sort of thing for each other and one of them once gave me a birthday gift which was tickets to an event for us both to go to. It was lovely and would never have occurred to me to think I should be able to take someone else instead!

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 23:05

Thanks LostIn and 5Foot :)

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bigmac4me · 08/07/2017 23:07

OP, last year my daughter me a voucher for afternoon tea as a present. Yes, I took her. It was one of the best presents I have ever received, and we had a great time.

This year I bought my daughter tickets to a show she wanted to see in the West End. Yes, she took me. She was thrilled with the gift and had a great time.

I have also bought tickets for shows/meals/events for other family members. Sometimes they have taken me, sometimes taken other people. Everyone, as far as I know, has been pleased.

I think some people here are being a little mean.

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 23:15

Thanks bigmac

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keeplooking · 09/07/2017 00:53

I guess you were unlucky to catch mumsnet in one of "those" moods.

It's AIBU, I'm afraid. It's always in one of those moods. It sometimes puts me in mind of a group of yobs piling in to give someone on the floor a good kicking, just for the fun of it.

Glad you and your dsis enjoyed the afternoon, op, and hope some of the responses didn't put a damper on it for you.

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Pombearsandnaiceham · 09/07/2017 12:09

Thanks Keep :)

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Getoutofthatgarden · 09/07/2017 19:17

It sometimes puts me in mind of a group of yobs piling in to give someone on the floor a good kicking, just for the fun of it

that's the best description of AIBU I've seen. It's brutal at times.

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