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AIBU?

Rearranged family lunch and uncontactable family member

166 replies

Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 11:20

I'm meant to be meeting up with a close family member for lunch at 1 today.

I bought this lunch for them two Christmasses ago (Christmas 2015), and the agreement was always that we would go together. As we didn't book it in within a specific time window, I then had to pay a bit to extend the lunch voucher.

In April this year, we finally booked a date for the lunch - a Saturday a few weekends ago. A week before the Saturday, I remind the family member about the lunch and she tells me that she double-booked and can't go to the lunch, as she has now made plans for that Saturday to go away with friends for a birthday weekend.

Fine. So we rearrange the lunch for 1pm today. I texted the family member a couple of hours ago to ask where we should meet, and haven't got a reply. I've just tried to ring her a couple of times, and still no reply.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/07/2017 18:26

For all of the posters who've asked, yes, we do have a tricky relationship.

We love each other very much and we are very close.

However, as I'm sure everyone on here can appreciate, relationships with anyone you care about can be very, very hard work.

So please, can we have less judging and more tolerance on here?

OP posts:
ephemeralfairy · 08/07/2017 18:27

I think it's a nice gift OP. I'd appreciate it. I also managed to read, understand and retain the information that you BOTH DECIDED YOU WOULD GO TOGETHER.

Hope you enjoyed your afternoon.

IloveBanff · 08/07/2017 18:32

It wasn't faux sympathy at all! It was absolutely genuine. I genuinely thought your twin wouldn't go since she had just woken up and there wouldn't be time, and I genuinely thought, from your posts, that for whatever reason, she didn't actually want to go. I am very pleased indeed that I was wrong about that and I apologise for upsetting you with my post, but there was nothing "faux" about it. I repeat, I am very glad to have been wrong. Flowers

allowlsthinkalot · 08/07/2017 18:36

Jess Christmas, people. It's a lovely gift. I'd be thrilled.

FlissMumsnet · 08/07/2017 18:42

So....in summary for those who don't rtft

OP finally had lunch with her twin sister.
It went well, they had a good time.
OP has acknowledged she's posted previously about this.
Some MNers do not like being given similar gifts.

THE END. Grin

HardcoreLadyType · 08/07/2017 18:45

Could we have a "like" button, please, FlissMumsnet?

pictish · 08/07/2017 18:46

Honest to god some of you will find any...and I mean any chink to stick the boot in, won't you?
Fuck off it's conceited, selfish, odd whatever other rubbish you have chosen to spout. This gift was absolutely fine...it was in context and had nothing to shred about it. So you get personal and tell the OP she's not fucking wanted. Like the bunch of sour tidings you are.
This place is fucking horrible sometimes.

IloveBanff · 08/07/2017 18:50

Look! My post saying I didn't think the lunch would happen was BEFORE the update stating that it had happened, so how THE FUCK is telling me to "RTFT!" reasonable or logical? How fucking ludicrous!

I'm no more psychic than I'm "faux sympathetic" and I'm also extremely pleased to have been wrong. OK?

IloveBanff · 08/07/2017 18:51

For what it's worth I didn't think there was anything wrong with the gift whatsoever. Now hiding the thread.

WhiskyIrnBru · 08/07/2017 19:01

Threads like this make me realise how vastly different opinions on things are
OP its a lovely gift. I am also a twin and my twin is very flaky and I know would love this gift. But like yourself would be difficult to pin down a date. It doesn't mean (like some idiots Wink posters have suggested that we have a bad relationship) glad you had a good time. Mumsnet can be such a twilight zone at times.

user1498726699 · 08/07/2017 19:06

I'm assuming it was something like an afternoon tea at the Ritz which is a massive treat and nothing like going to Nandos for lunch. I would be delighted with a family member taking me as a gift.

Glad your sis made it OP. Hope you both enjoyed it.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 08/07/2017 19:06

Who on earth buys a voucher for a meal, surely you just go out on the day and pay?

TBH i think a meal voucher to a restaurant is a really, really crap gift. There's no thought in it, you're restricting someone to a specific menu when there might not even be anything on it they like, and plenty of people have anxiety about eating out, or are on a diet half the time that doesn't acomodate it.

Add in to that that you're insistance was that YOU were the plus one, you've basically bought yourself a meal out with her company being her present! You absolutely should have let her choose her own plus one, you never should have suggested yourself. As for what you've said about cancelling and taking someone else, but you bought this meal out for HER, not you, remember?

Boredwithmyname · 08/07/2017 19:09

OP you sound lovely and you also sound as though you're doing your best with a sometimes tricky relationship. You are thoughtful, you love each other and I'm sure your sister really appreciates the effort you have gone to Flowers

Crunchymum · 08/07/2017 19:19

The irony on this thread is laughable. Telling people to 'lay off the OP', whilst being rude and insulting those who deigned to suggest to the OP that gulp maybe her amazing gift wasn't quite as amazing as she thought considering it hadn't been taken up in 18 months.

Particularly liked the "door to cuntsville" comment. So witty!!!

Look the OP obviously has ongoing issues with her twin, which have led to her being a bit sensitive about some of the replies on this thread but AIBU isn't for the faint hearted. Compared to some threads I read, this has been tame Shock

As an aside - and I know this will be taken the wrong way - but doesn't starting 2 identical threads technically make thread 2 a TAAT?

bimbobaggins · 08/07/2017 19:43

Exactly what crunch has said. Not sure why the op didn't just say yes when asked previously if she'd posted re this before.

WateryTart · 08/07/2017 19:43

Struck a chord, eh, Crunchie?

You wit has shone like a beacon on this thread. Pull the door closed behind you, there's a dear. Keep the rest out.

noenemee · 08/07/2017 19:46

I like a prearranged treat meal with close family or friends. I also know what it's like to have a family member you love and who definitely loves you back, but whose character is flakey. Such is life.

Glad you had a good time in the end OP but perhaps in future, a gift that requires some form of prioritising and commitment is best avoided, but you know that now anyway.

Crunchymum · 08/07/2017 19:54

Feel free to report anything you find offensive Watery but snarky comments and thread policing don't make for constructive discussion.... just saying Smile

frieda909 · 08/07/2017 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frieda909 · 08/07/2017 20:43

Shit sorry, wrong thread! Will get that removed Blush

RossGellersteeth · 08/07/2017 20:57

Telling people to 'lay off the OP', whilst being rude and insulting those who deigned to suggest to the OP that gulp maybe her amazing gift wasn't quite as amazing as she thought considering it hadn't been taken up in 18 months.

So to de-code that^.....You can be rude but you don't want anyone to call you out on your rudeness?

Dumbledoresgirl · 08/07/2017 21:02

Frieda, I read the entire thread on the basis of your now deleted comment which was the most recent post when I first clicked on the thread. I was intrigued as to what the full story was going to be about. I am gutted it had nothing to do with anything here as it was the most interesting post on the thread! Grin

user1495025590 · 08/07/2017 21:22

Jeez, maybe - I dunno - she wants and likes to spend time with me?

Yeah we can infer that she loves spending time with you, from the 18 months that elapsed and all the times she kept cancelling.Giving a gift voucher would have let her choose whether it was you she wanted to accompany or some one else.
I do not understand why you changed it from 'afternoon tea' to lunch You said it was because you did not want to be outed or for it to be too identifying yet had previously started a thread in which you refer to it as afternoon tea.
If it WAS lunch then it could not have happened because you were still posting on here at 1 oclock. So I believe the switching it to 'afternoon tea' gave you the chance to pretend that your DSIS had turned up and prove wrong everybody who said it was a crap gift

Crunchymum · 08/07/2017 21:35

Ross rude as in using the cunt word.... no one else felt the need to use that word on this thread. It just isn't a cunt kind of thread?

RossGellersteeth · 08/07/2017 21:43

Ross rude as in using the cunt word

Ah ok sorry, never seen that.

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