Found a positive pregnancy test in DSDs bedroom. DH will want her out. What the fuck do I do.

[K1092902]

I'm in actual genuine shock.

This isn't one of those "my teenage child is better behaved than your teenage child" because it isnt. She is far from perfect but She knows she can tell me anything and I will 100% support her decision on things.

Anyway- on to the topic.

DSD has been working hard all week and took DD out today as I was feeling unwell. She usually does her own laundry and ironing so I decided to do it for her today. Went to put some t shirts away in her drawers and found a positive pregnancy test. Thinking about it (and I know this sounds odd in a way) but I haven't cleaned out any sanitary products from her bathroom bin in the last 2 or 3 months. I know she has been sleeping with someone and she insisted she was taking precautions but as we all know accidents can happen. I assumed she was on the pill as my periods stopped when I was on it a couple of years ago

I was out when she came back with DD and she is now at work until half 12. I'm going to sit and have a chat with her and I know she is either going to be really upset because she doesn't know what to do or angry because she feels I have invaded her personal space- I genuinely didn't go looking for it. I opened the drawer and saw the end peaking out of a pair of slipper socks and knew straight away what it was.

DH is going to be fuming and will probably want to kick her out (can say this with 90% certainty). I will support her decision 100%.

She is 18 (just)

How did it go OP?

I'm so glad your DSD has you to support her.

I hope it went ok.

Your DSD is lucky to have you & you're both lucky to have your Mum.

It's one thing to fear your parents will hit the roof, it's quite another to think your DH will. If you genuinely think he'd kick her out, rather than it just being something he has said in the past to make her think twice about having casual sex then you really need to have a good think about whether you want to be married to him, let alone trying for another baby.

One of the loveliest things my dad (with whom I have a screwed up relationship) did, was pull me aside when I was 14 or so and say, 'no matter what happens, you can always come home. I'll support you no matter what.'

I wasn't going to have sex for a good couple years, but him saying that, knowing that he wouldn't reject me if it came to that, meant the world.

I did get unexpectedly pregnant, at 23, and my dickhead SD call him to crow about what a massive fuck up I was, and he just laughed with delight, and said what amazing news it was (my sister was in the room when he called and relayed message). He called me and just bounced with happiness and joy that I was pregnant, and gave me a huge shot of confidence during a scary time.

I'll never forget that, it really meant the world.

What a great step mum you are! She's very lucky to have you! Hope the chat went okay

She's incredibly lucky to have you. You sound wonderful.

Your DH however appears to be an absolutely awful man. His DD has lost her mum but he would still kick her out if she got pregnant?

I'm not sure I'd be able to look him in the eye after something like that. I certainly wouldn't be continuing my relationship with him.

I hope he reacts more positively than you anticipate and you can support your DSD together.

You are making an awful lot of wild assumptions, op

Seriously her dad would kick his daughter out at a time when she most needs him. Why? Id be rethinking why you with someone that strange and cruel. Op dsd going to need support. Hope you both ok

How are things OP?

The op didn't say he would disown her but that he wouldn't support her
I'm not saying I agree, but lots of parents would say the same and it's not that unusual. Hopefully she's early on and still has options though

Hope it went ok OP. 💐

Hope your dsd is okay OP.
I got pregnant at 17 and was too scared to tell my mum so I went through an abortion alone. I'm do glad to hear that your dsd will have support from you and your mum at the very least.

Well done for doing what any good mother would do in this situation OP.

How did it go OP?

My mum kicked me out when she found out I was pregnant, I was distraught to loose my relationship with my mum. She insists she's a living grandmother but I want nothing to do with her. Please don't let your husband do this

I hope everything went OK OP

Has she confirmed her pregnancy to you op

I'm glad she has someone to support her. Your dh may react differently to what he has said in the past. But she is lucky to have an advocate in you.

Morning OP hope you and Dsd are okay this morning
Hugs x

I hope your husband surprises you.

It's sounds like you and her have a lovely relationship, which is great.

What does DH will want her out mean? That's a very matter of fact statement as if it's a normal course of events. Why would he want her out? What's the issue for him? I don't believe for one minute that, apart from if he's particularly religious one way or another, he would feel shame at having a young, unmarried, pregnant daughter- it's not 1950 fgs.

So assuming it's not shame, is it because he doesn't want a newborn and all that entails in the house? Well, in some ways that's fair enough and there's time to plan a transition to independence for his DD. Doing that in a supportive way and remaining an involved and loving grandparent isn't a bad thing.

If otoh he'll shout and rant about something which tbh is none of his business, then someone needs to be the voice of reason and put him back in his box. What has DD done wrong really?

I hope everything is ok op

k109 you sound like an amazing stepmum your dsd is lucky she has you in her corner

I hope everything went ok! Your step daughter is blessed to have a step mum as loving and caring as you. I hope your DH can move past it and focus on his love for his daughter x

I know things may have moved on but if he is angry, then he's being angry about something that has nothing to do with him. She is an adult.

If he tries / threatens to kick her out, kick him out and let her stay.

@Little Witch

Sadly that IS how some parents feel, even today. I posted a few pages back, I'm currently 21, in a serious relationship, have my own house with DP, finished my degree & work, and am 37 weeks pregnant - I've been told I'm a disgrace, disappointment, and am not 'fulfilling my potential' by having a child. My grandfather is still refusing to speak to me, my mum is rude and unhelpful when I've tried to bond with her by asking for advice. They haven't told anybody I'm pregnant, for example my godmother, their friends or work colleagues. To them, this is absolutely the worst thing that could have happened. My dad's reaction was 'I'm absolutely gutted' and my mum's was 'I don't know what I'm supposed to say when people ask what you're up to after uni, off having a baby sounds appalling'.

My parents aren't religious in the slightest, just white, middle-class arseholes

My DMum got pregnant at 17.5. My half brother is the result. He is one of the most utterly brilliant and amazing people I know. The world is definitely a better place for having him in it.