Found a positive pregnancy test in DSDs bedroom. DH will want her out. What the fuck do I do.

[K1092902]

I'm in actual genuine shock.

This isn't one of those "my teenage child is better behaved than your teenage child" because it isnt. She is far from perfect but She knows she can tell me anything and I will 100% support her decision on things.

Anyway- on to the topic.

DSD has been working hard all week and took DD out today as I was feeling unwell. She usually does her own laundry and ironing so I decided to do it for her today. Went to put some t shirts away in her drawers and found a positive pregnancy test. Thinking about it (and I know this sounds odd in a way) but I haven't cleaned out any sanitary products from her bathroom bin in the last 2 or 3 months. I know she has been sleeping with someone and she insisted she was taking precautions but as we all know accidents can happen. I assumed she was on the pill as my periods stopped when I was on it a couple of years ago

I was out when she came back with DD and she is now at work until half 12. I'm going to sit and have a chat with her and I know she is either going to be really upset because she doesn't know what to do or angry because she feels I have invaded her personal space- I genuinely didn't go looking for it. I opened the drawer and saw the end peaking out of a pair of slipper socks and knew straight away what it was.

DH is going to be fuming and will probably want to kick her out (can say this with 90% certainty). I will support her decision 100%.

She is 18 (just)

I don't think paying a percentage of income to learn how the real world works is in any way equivalent to a teen bringing up a baby on their own...

False equivalence, much?

Intransige you've said exactly what I wanted to!

It was another thread, but I thought those outraged by the prospect of adult children paying keep outnumbered those who thought it ok. It really depends on the thread and who posts on it!

A single adult who loses council tax discount etc and is struggling to make ends meet shouldn't be expected to have a working adult live with them contribution-free. I've known parents on low incomes really struggle when their children turn 18 and they lose child benefit etc, yet their kids won't contribute £20 a week.

And yes Intransige - this situation is entirely different to on some other threads, I agree.

Leaky am I allowed to 'pile in'?

My DD had cancer and died before she got the chance to have a boyfriend let alone worry about teen pregnancies.
I am in a prime position to put this scenario into perspective i.e. there are things that are a lot worse than finding out your healthy 18 year old is pregnant.

That doesn't stop me thinking telling a parent their child has cancer to soften the blow of a pregnancy is ok. It is a monumentally shit idea and fucking offensive.

It is different but in one case parents felt outraged at supporting a uni student when they could well afford to when she earned her own money and paid her own books, classes, worked for the money tp do so.

On this thread its unanimous the parents can support an 18 year old and her child no question. What if they cant afford to support her and a new baby.

The uni student can work at 21 and pay their way so.it is finite and still parents object.

A teenager and baby....how long is they going to have to be supported by parents for? Years?

*are they

Stupid phone

Personally I think knowing that your child is out there somewhere, would be heartbreaking. She would have to be really sure that she could cope with this if she chooses that option.

She must also realise that as she matures, what seems like a good idea now, might not seem so later and she might be filled with regrets- whichever option she chooses, so she needs to consider which is the worst option if her feelings were to do a complete u turn in the future.

Just wanted to say that wherever dsd's mum is looking down from, she will be so happy that you're looking after her daughter. What a lovely soul you have

@K1092902 I echo many PPs about how lucky DSD is to have you as a parent especially after the loss of her Mum at such a young age.

This may have been said already but my only reservation would be not giving your DH the chance to offer any advice/support to DSD before she makes her decision.

Of course you know your DH best, but isn't there even the slightest chance that his reaction would be completely different?
Your DH may be crushed that DSD went through such a life changing decision thinking she could not confide in him.
Equally, if DSD makes a decision to terminate her pregnancy with one of the factors being that she would not have the support of your DH, without actually knowing that was the case...

But it's not about him and how he might feel. If DSD doesn't want to discuss it with him, that's her prerogative.

I agree that his feelings are of no consequence here. As a grown woman it is her decision who she discusses this with, he has no right to know anything about her if she doesnt want him to.

And lets face it, if he was that bothered about her being able to confide in him then he should have been more approachable and not threatening to throw her out.

Exactly.

I hope the kicking her out was DUH just trying to scare her rather than something he would actually do. I couldn't be with someone who would abandon their child for something like that.

Glad you and DSD have talked

Out of interest, would people still be saying she doesn't have to tell her DF if she was under 18? I am very much in the camp of she tells who she wants to tell but a lot of people are talking about the fact that she doesn't have to because she is an adult. I would say she didn't have to even if she wasn't an adult.

Difficult time ahead but thankfully she has a support in you OP

Can they perform an abortion on a child under 16 without parental consent?

@MommaGee huh?

Surely it can't be parental consent for an abortion at any age! That implies it is anybodies' decision whether or not the woman can have one.

Sorry that was a reply to BeingATwat re Dad knowing if she was underage

I don't know Being it was a genuine question

Momma I know someone who 100% would have done, until his dd actually did get pregnant. I don't think it's uncommon, I also think it's understandable.

How many people berating the dh have direct experience of supporting their teenager through having a child of their own? Fully understand the impact it can have on every aspect of their life?

He might be a monster, but we don't know that for sure.

It's still 100% up to the dsd who she tells, of course.

x-post yes thankfully they can, Momma.

Computer that's the difference though to if he is or not although id be pretty pissed off at the threat too