Found a positive pregnancy test in DSDs bedroom. DH will want her out. What the fuck do I do.

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I'm in actual genuine shock.

This isn't one of those "my teenage child is better behaved than your teenage child" because it isnt. She is far from perfect but She knows she can tell me anything and I will 100% support her decision on things.

Anyway- on to the topic.

DSD has been working hard all week and took DD out today as I was feeling unwell. She usually does her own laundry and ironing so I decided to do it for her today. Went to put some t shirts away in her drawers and found a positive pregnancy test. Thinking about it (and I know this sounds odd in a way) but I haven't cleaned out any sanitary products from her bathroom bin in the last 2 or 3 months. I know she has been sleeping with someone and she insisted she was taking precautions but as we all know accidents can happen. I assumed she was on the pill as my periods stopped when I was on it a couple of years ago

I was out when she came back with DD and she is now at work until half 12. I'm going to sit and have a chat with her and I know she is either going to be really upset because she doesn't know what to do or angry because she feels I have invaded her personal space- I genuinely didn't go looking for it. I opened the drawer and saw the end peaking out of a pair of slipper socks and knew straight away what it was.

DH is going to be fuming and will probably want to kick her out (can say this with 90% certainty). I will support her decision 100%.

She is 18 (just)

OP, just dropping by to say I think you've handled this situation truly brilliantly. The fact that you are so totally dedicated and loving to your DSD is beautiful and all will be fine with you on her side. She's a lucky girl who sounds great too! Good luck and hope today went well. X

Hope everything is ok OP. Just wanted to say that you and your mum sound lovely

Op you are a lovely mum and so is your own mum.
Your dsd is very lucky to have two women looking out for her like this.

I hope that your DH has come round the news and isn't being a dick about it.

Hope all ok

Hi everyone. Thanks for all your lovely messages. Didn't mean to disappear just been a very busy day.

DSD is pregnant. She doesn't know what she wants to do yet but has a place at a very good university in September which she doesn't want to let go but doesn't think she could go through having an abortion. We have talked through the practicalities and realities of all options available to her. She has gone to stay at my mum's until Tuesday and has begged me not to tell DH until she has made a decision on what to do and I won't.

Thanks for the update OP.
That sounds very sensible. She's lucky to have you for a mum.

Poor girl. Not a pleasant situation but great that she has you and your mum.

So glad she was able to open up to you OP. No matter what she decides, with your support it sounds like she will be fine. Might take a while but she's very lucky to have someone like you and your mum. Hoping everything works out for her

It's decent people like you, mostly women, who keep the world going. All the best to all concerned. .

I'm glad she has you and I hope she makes a decision that she's comfortable with.

But please don't have more children with such a harsh tyrant of a father! Honestly, the poor girl has no mother and he would kick her out! I hope she leaves soon of her own accord.

You're lovely op.
I'm glad she has someone supportive at a time like this. Breaking the stereotypes of stepmums

Poor lass

I'm so glad she's got you.

Might she find it helpful to have a look at MN herself? There are lots of posters on here who have been in similar positions

Talk about hanging the husband before he's committed the crime let alone been found guilty. He's said something in the past, doesn't mean he will react that way now or that even if his first reaction is horror and anger that it won't immediately be followed by compassion and support.

OP sounds like your dsd has some big decisions to make, having a baby will affect her studies at least in terms of what sounds like going away to uni. That's not to say she can't go to uni but probably next year and probably not one away from home if she will need family support / childcare. If the latter is even an option assuming you and her dad both work ft.

She's so lucky to have you op. What a lovely step mum you are. It must have been such a relief for her to know she has you and your mum for support.

OP, you and your mam sound lovely!

Crap, posted too soon. I hope that your H will support his daughter whichever decision she makes.

I don't know if I could be with a man who didn't support their child when they need it so desperately.

Suggest that she talks to the university she's going to about how they can support students with children.

This thread made me tear up. How lovely dsd has such a loving step family when she's lost her mum.

Op be strong. Support dad to do whatever she needs to do and then tell your dh how it is and that he has to get on with it either way x

Can she defer a year at least? Or do her course part time?

Hey well done for being so caring. I was in you dsd' position 14 yrs ago, early pregnancy, place at uni in September. She can defer her place a year if needed, universities are usually very equipped to support parents (she won't be the first and won't be the last). There is funding available to help with childcare. I say this although I chose not to attend a brick uni in the end and did my degree via the OU instead. I don't regret having my dd at such a young age at all.

Good luck and well done for supporting her. You dsd is very lucky to have you

You've done a fab job. I get an abortion is scary, and the current climate doesn't make it less so, but I do hope it stays on the table as an option. The comments following your update rather assume she'll keep the baby but it isn't a baby yet and if she decides not to have it she needs to feel just as supported and empowered in that decision. I haven't had an abortion but I know people who have and none of them regret it at all. That doesn't get shown in the general conversation about abortion.

Well done OP. Both you and your DM are bloody amazing. I hope DSD is able to get her head around this and make the right choice for her.

Also hope her father isn't as bad as he sounds. I know FIL was in tears 'because of the shame' when SIL told them she was pregnant, but he came round as soon as the baby arrived.

OP a friend of mines dd found herself in the same position as your dsd. She did her first year at uni and was planning to defer. However she had the baby, took a year out and is currently working full time (baby is 18 months now). She is going back to university in September but has changed her course and the job she has is related to this course. Her family are very supportive and adore the dc. It wasn't ideal but actually it had been the making of her. She was a bit of a drifter before but now she is determined to do well by her child.
Just thought I would share as it has been a positive experience for all the family.
You sound fabulous and your dsd is lucky to have you in her life.

You sound like a lovely supportive step mum. She's lucky to have you!