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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Found a positive pregnancy test in DSDs bedroom. DH will want her out. What the fuck do I do.

705 replies

K1092902 · 07/07/2017 22:21

I'm in actual genuine shock.

This isn't one of those "my teenage child is better behaved than your teenage child" because it isnt. She is far from perfect but She knows she can tell me anything and I will 100% support her decision on things.

Anyway- on to the topic.

DSD has been working hard all week and took DD out today as I was feeling unwell. She usually does her own laundry and ironing so I decided to do it for her today. Went to put some t shirts away in her drawers and found a positive pregnancy test. Thinking about it (and I know this sounds odd in a way) but I haven't cleaned out any sanitary products from her bathroom bin in the last 2 or 3 months. I know she has been sleeping with someone and she insisted she was taking precautions but as we all know accidents can happen. I assumed she was on the pill as my periods stopped when I was on it a couple of years ago

I was out when she came back with DD and she is now at work until half 12. I'm going to sit and have a chat with her and I know she is either going to be really upset because she doesn't know what to do or angry because she feels I have invaded her personal space- I genuinely didn't go looking for it. I opened the drawer and saw the end peaking out of a pair of slipper socks and knew straight away what it was.

DH is going to be fuming and will probably want to kick her out (can say this with 90% certainty). I will support her decision 100%.

She is 18 (just)

OP posts:
BeyondDrinksAndKnowsThings · 08/07/2017 10:34

Flowers op, I hope it all went well?

BeyondDrinksAndKnowsThings · 08/07/2017 10:34

I read 12 as midnight?

scootinFun · 08/07/2017 10:34

I was reading it last night and was sure the SD was finishing work at midnight - must have been tireder than I thought!

Proudmummytodc2 · 08/07/2017 10:44

Hi OP

I have just caught up with your thread.

You are amazing if anything ever happened to me and my DP met someone new your the type of step mum I would wish my kids to have if they had one.

You DH is a total lemon please do not allow him to throw DSD out that's not on that's his own daughter ffs.

How did the chat with her go? How is she feeling?

sparkleandsunshine · 08/07/2017 10:44

Fingers crossed it goes ok, you sound like an amazing step mum x

Lozzie12 · 08/07/2017 11:18

I hope all works out,it sounds as if you have a lovely relationship.

NameChange30 · 08/07/2017 11:21

Hedgehog Flowers

Mylittlesunshines · 08/07/2017 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

innagazing · 08/07/2017 11:33

Everyone needs to be patient. Op was meeting her dsd last night after she finished work. I think they were due to meet at Mc D's and that OP's mother had said that dsds could stay at her home for the weekend if she wanted, I expect they talked long into the night and aren't awake yet.
Op will no doubt update us when she's ready.

mmgirish · 08/07/2017 13:29

I've been thinking about you all day OP. I really hope it goes well for you. You sound lovely.

hulahoopsrus · 08/07/2017 13:33

Good luck OP

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 08/07/2017 14:20

Hope she's OK. OP you do sound lovely.

WineAndTiramisu · 08/07/2017 15:34

Any news on how this went? I've been wondering all morning

AddictedToDrPepper · 08/07/2017 15:34
Flowers
MyOtherProfile · 08/07/2017 15:42

Hope you're all ok.

JustDontGetItAtAll · 08/07/2017 15:48

Haven't read the full thread - Just the bit about him kicking her out - LTB!!!!!! My very first one!!!!!!!!

JustDontGetItAtAll · 08/07/2017 15:53

Hope all is ok though xxx

GriseldaChop · 08/07/2017 16:05

Hope all went ok for you both, it's great you're so supportive and she has you to look out for her. I work in education and have had the odd student find out they were pregnant and scared to tell home because of the consequences so understand how hard it must be for her. Usually the parents have been in shock, sometimes the odd shout and cross word, but each time it's always ended up in a big cuddle. I hope your DH can see it that way!

MrsHandles · 08/07/2017 16:25

Hope your chat went well. You sound like such a caring, kind stepmother, she'll need people like you around her, whatever the outcome. Good luck to you and DSD OP

Nanny0gg · 08/07/2017 16:39

DH is very old fashioned and still thinks of her as a child and has said in the past to her she wouldn't have his support if she got pregnant at a young age

My mum said that to me - 50 years ago! I had hoped that times had changed.

I hope he's surprised you and your DSD...

artiface · 08/07/2017 16:41

I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to mention that tests have a time limit on them, they can show negative and then after a few hours look positive, so if she'd thrown it away?pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/articles/945225/pregnancy-tests-the-mystery-of-evaporation-lines-explained

CosmoClock · 08/07/2017 16:49

He sounds horrible. If her Mum is dead I'd have a word and say that you saw the pregnancy tester. She will be relieved if you're kind to her. Tell her that you will support her to have a termination or to tell her father. If her father kicks out a pregnant 18 year old who doesn't have a mum to turn to then he is a f*ck1ng arsehole.

BlueKarou · 08/07/2017 16:54

Hope everything is ok, OP. Fwiw you sound lovely. Your DH not so much.

LurkingHusband · 08/07/2017 16:58

.

ladyyyglittersparkles · 08/07/2017 17:15

I'd feel murderous if my DSD got pregnant now. However if her dad even mentioned kicking her out HE would be out on his arse! She's an adult ffs no wonder she hasn't confided in anyone he sounds a prize twat