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To cross the street when I'm walking behind a woman at night?

201 replies

HarrietFTW · 07/07/2017 16:46

I've always done this and I thought it was the right thing to do but when I told a woman at work I did it she got all offended and upset with me.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 09/07/2017 22:02

BertrandRussell Considering I'm half black I don't think I will need to torture myself over my answer Smile

April229 · 09/07/2017 22:39

I completely appreciate it when men do this, it can make you a bit apprehensive wondering if you should be worried when you are on your own. I can't imagine why someone would say she would be offended.

Foniks · 09/07/2017 22:50

Vladmir I'm also wondering why you'd think that?
Being half black isn't really an answer to the question Bert asked tbh...
What's your reasoning?

seagreengirl · 09/07/2017 22:50

I am not particularly nervous when walking about at night but I always appreciate it when men do this. It is reassuring and thoughtful.

I am sure most men realise that they can be intimidating to lone women at night and that most women do not consider all men to be rapists.

JoshLymanJr · 09/07/2017 23:03

Until men acknowledge this and do something about it nothing will change.

Do what exactly? Do you think a 'knife wielding rapist' will mend his ways based on what I say, do or think, for example?

Shitalopram · 09/07/2017 23:31

To diffuse the gender issue somewhat - I also do this when I want to overtake elderly people (of any gender) - especially when it's dark.

jellyfrizz · 09/07/2017 23:44

Yes Shitalo, I don't think it's necessarily about gender. I'd do this while out running for anyone who might get get a fright from me plodding along panting whizzing by at high speed.

PaintingOwls · 09/07/2017 23:45

That would put me on edge more. Why can't you just bury your nose in your phone like a normal person so that I know you're not paying attention to your surroundings?

squishysquirmy · 09/07/2017 23:53

Painting because they are behind you, so you can't see if they are on the phone or not?

If I heard footsteps approaching behind me, and then heard the person cross the road and walk on ahead of me on that side I wouldn't know whether they were doing so for the OP's reasons, or because they needed to cross the road. If I wasn't frightened anyway, I don't think I would even notice what they'd done.

WorraLiberty · 09/07/2017 23:54

Only an idiot would bury their nose in their phone and not pay attention to their surroundings, no matter what time of the day or night.

Ginlovinglady · 09/07/2017 23:58

What stats!? I didn't use stats
I used basic common sense

You made an utterly stupid and vapid statement about your family member and backpacks and beards which was just so irrelevant it's unbelievable
There is fear that's relatively real, and fear that's just whipped up.
Any intelligent person could distinguish

Ginlovinglady · 10/07/2017 00:00

And actually even I would cross the road or not walk to close to someone late at night. It's a common courtesy not to frighten someone

lazycrazyhazy · 10/07/2017 00:11

My DH has done it too. He and my DS have also said it's hard to know how to reassure when you're in a lift/in a train carriage with a woman alone. It's a shame dangerous people don't have green horns, isn't it?

stumblymonkeyagain · 10/07/2017 00:16

I wouldn't expect it...however it's very thoughtful and considerate that you do.

And no...of course not all men are rapists. But it's a sad fact that enough of them are for 1 in 4 of us to be raped. That means a significant proportion of women you're walking behind in the dark have been raped by a man and so are understandably a little on edge.

yourerubberimglue · 10/07/2017 00:56

I would appreciate it. Even women who are walking behind me in the dark worry me as they may rob me.
Thank you

LondonBees · 10/07/2017 15:48

This is ridiculous. Why should anyone have to alter their behaviour so as not to scare you because you think they may rob or rape you?

If I were walking behind a woman at night I wouldn't cross the road, I would just speed up in front of her or ignore her altogether.

BertrandRussell · 10/07/2017 15:58

"Why should anyone have to alter their behaviour so as not to scare you because you think they may rob or rape you?"

Have you read the thread?

user1490465531 · 10/07/2017 16:28

Also hate people speeding past me on a bike as I had my bag smatched by a roma gypsy boy on a bike and ever since then I get nervous of people on bikes that get to close to me on the pavement.

Dervel · 10/07/2017 16:29

As a man I do this, no appreciation needed. Going out and about with no fear is the default. Crossing the road is but a trifling effort. I don't strike up conversations in the tube for much the same reason, and I wouldn't expect lavish praise for observing standard etiquette.

I'll also hold open doors but again people of either gender do it for me, so it's something we all just do right?

Datun · 10/07/2017 19:15

I'll also hold open doors but again people of either gender do it for me, so it's something we all just do right?

I had this conversation with DH. Because yes, he is that one person, who did get a mouthful after he opened the door for a woman.

He opens the door for everyone, male or female. And he says most people (men) he knows do, to be honest.

Gottagetmoving · 10/07/2017 19:17

Sod whether your colleague was offended. Most women would appreciate it and decent men would do it.

Datun · 10/07/2017 19:20

Where's the OP?

Datun · 10/07/2017 19:22

Well, if this is going to end up in the Daily Mail. Good.

Ninety nine percent of posters have said yes, cross the road. Thank you.

Ginlovinglady · 10/07/2017 22:33

This reply has been deleted

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SamanthaUnkim · 11/07/2017 00:57

Its not a rape thing.
I bet your'e DHs cross over, if behind old people too.

Everyone can remember being scared in the dark at sometime

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