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AIBU?

To cross the street when I'm walking behind a woman at night?

201 replies

HarrietFTW · 07/07/2017 16:46

I've always done this and I thought it was the right thing to do but when I told a woman at work I did it she got all offended and upset with me.

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 07/07/2017 16:46

Are you male or female?

HarrietFTW · 07/07/2017 16:47

I'm a male and quite a big one at that.

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 07/07/2017 16:49

It is the right thing to do. If she's the type to get offended she may be offended by you crossing the road. But if she's had life experiences that give her good reason to be afraid, she'll be terrified if you carry on walking behind her. On balance I'd rather risk mild offence than causing fear.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 07/07/2017 16:51

No YANBU it's a great thing to do-I've had men walk up behind me and it's disconcerting even if they probably just hadn't thought anything of it!

ifyoulikepinacolada · 07/07/2017 16:51

I always really appreciate when guys do this! Thank you.

ISaySteadyOn · 07/07/2017 16:51

What Batteries said with bells on.

x2boys · 07/07/2017 16:53

i think its the right thing to do i dont like anyone walking behind me especially at night.

SweepTheHalls · 07/07/2017 16:53

I would appreciate it too!

AnnetteCurtains · 07/07/2017 16:55

You are right OP

Dragonflycushion · 07/07/2017 16:55

It's thoughtful and considerate. Please comtinue to do it.

Njordsgrrrl · 07/07/2017 16:55

YANBU. It's extremely considerate. I used to have to walk under a railway bridge in a deserted area as a teenager and was always so appreciative if a male commuter dropped back on approach. I wish more men were as understanding.

KindleBueno · 07/07/2017 16:56

I genuinely appreciate it when men do this. I find it really intimidating when they don't even if it is irrational

LemonScentedStickyBat · 07/07/2017 16:56

I appreciate it when men do this. Can you explain why she was offended and upset?

Foreverhopeful22 · 07/07/2017 16:56

My husband is 6ft 7 and huge was a power lifter. He has tattoos and looks very intimidating although he is a gentleman

He always does this when out! He would hate to have someone intimidated because he was behind them. He does it to males as well

I love him for it!

Keep doing it

DonaldStott · 07/07/2017 16:57

Definitely the right thing to do. What did she find offensive about it? X x

hazeydays14 · 07/07/2017 16:57

YANBU and trust me, by most women it will be very much appreciated. Thank you :)

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2017 16:57

Yes, I think it's the right thing to do.

Why did she get offended? What did she say?

DonaldStott · 07/07/2017 16:58

Omg Blush did not mean to put kisses. I have just been messaging my mum Blush

What a MN faux pas

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2017 16:59

There are women who advocate very enthusiastically on behalf of poor downtrodden men...........

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 07/07/2017 16:59

I also appreciate it when men do this. I'd probably be a bit confused if a woman did, but not offended.

Please ignore your colleague. She might not fear attack but many women do.

IAmTheWorwax · 07/07/2017 17:03

I wouldn't expect someone to do this for me. As long as you are not too close and just minding your own business that's enough for me

BackforGood · 07/07/2017 17:06

I too think it is very thoughtful.
there are some people who look out for ways to be offended each day - I don't think you can account for them.

PlausibleSuit · 07/07/2017 17:07

I think it's one of those things you just do, rather than talk about doing. Depending on how you put it - and I wasn't there, so I don't know - it might have come across as patronising. Or she might have thought you thought she couldn't take care of herself if she needed to. Who knows, she might be a kick-boxer capable of handing your arse to you with one hand tied behind her back.

But I get the broader etiquette. I'm a guy too and I'm conscious of not walking too close behind anyone, especially at night. I live in an area where people get mugged from time to time so I'm very conscious of it.

Nikephorus · 07/07/2017 17:08

I'd prefer it if anyone crossed over at any time of day. I hate having people walking behind me.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 07/07/2017 17:08

I think it's a polite thing to do in general. I can't imagine why she'd get offended.

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