To cross the street when I'm walking behind a woman at night?

[HarrietFTW]

I've always done this and I thought it was the right thing to do but when I told a woman at work I did it she got all offended and upset with me.

[PuntasticUsername]

Zomg I got deleted for poking fun at the fragile masculinity on show. Lolololololol

[PuntasticUsername]

Zomg I got deleted for poking fun at the fragile masculinity on show. Lolololololol

[Hudson10]

It's a nice, considerate thing to do. Why on earth would she be offended?

[MsSusanStoHelit]

I appreciate any kind of signal that non-threateningly tells me you're aware of my concerns about being attacked and that you're not going to make me more nervous.

So crossing the road, dropping back, even making a lot of noise when you walk so I know you're behind me eg if you are going to walk faster, all good. Telling me you're not a threat - very threatening...!

[VeryButchyRestingFace]

I don't know how to make it any clearer to you, and quite frankly as you are so intent on hearing what you want me to say and changing my words to fit your agenda, I can't be arsed

I don't have an agenda. Do you accuse everyone who doesn't agree with or challenges you of having an "agenda"? That's 2 different posters on a short thread you've accused of having an "agenda" and - in my case - the first post I think we've addressed to each other.

And no, I agree that at no point in your life is it likely that anyone has specifically socialised you "to not like that we live in a world where a man feels he has to cross the street...". Socialisation is a bit more insidious than that.

[TryHarderWillis]

What? So all blokes are rapists then. And all blokes should cross the street to avoid walking behind a woman? What nonsense.

[kali110]

Why should Skarossinkplunger
have been socialised just because she feels a little bad that a guy needs to do this? i
Understand what she's saying.
It's nice that he does this, if others are happy for men to do this that's great.
There are SOME dangerous men in the world.
There's some bloody dangerous women in the world too. I feel more nervous by a group of girls than i do a group of men.

[OstentatiousWanking]

I've been sexually assaulted by a man who attacked me from behind after walking behind me for some distance.
That was over 30 years ago and I still sometimes feel afraid if a man walks behind me for a noticeable amount.
So OP thank you for being so considerate towards people like me .
It fucking atrocious that we live in a society where you feel the need to do so. But I'm glad that you do.

[BertrandRussell]

". I feel more nervous by a group of girls than i do a group of men."

Really? How very strange. I presume you have personal history to explain this?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Keep doing it, you're putting most of us at ease

[PerkingFaintly]

I'm not often in the situation any more, but even as a woman I used to cross the road at night if I were the one inadvertently following another woman.

Because she wouldn't know the footsteps were female unless she turned round. And I know I didn't like to turn round because that can escalate the situation.

[bluediamonds]

That's exactly the sort of thing that my late dad would have done. It's considerate. It's lovely.

[PerkingFaintly]

And in fact even if she did know the footsteps were female, she still wouldn't know I wasn't an attacker (despite that changing the odds).

Crossing the road signals that, whoever you are, you aren't trying to approach the person in front.

[PatheticTeenageNamechange]

YANBU. I always really appreciate it when someone does this for me.

[Andrewofgg]

I do it unless there is no pavement on one side or of course if crossing would mean I was behind another woman. In that case I approach as fast as I can, hurry past and get well ahead, which minimises the time she might be concerned. Least worst.

[SomethingOnce]

At night I usually cross the road to overtake anyone. Nobody likes another person walking up behind them, do they?

[Zafodbeeblbrox10]

Why so many ladies walking around in the dead of night alone? I'm a man. I wouldn't leave any female I know to walk home unescorted, or not offer to get them a taxi. I'm not a chauvinist.. just a realist.

[PenguinOfDoom]

Well, some of us ladies go out on our own and travel home on our own. We don't need a chaperone, we need for some men not to see a lone woman at night as a target.

[AYankinSpanx]

When I run in the darkness, I always think about how my approaching footsteps will sound to someone in front of me. I try to run a big circle around them, or cross over if I can.

I was walking with my young DC in the woods the other day and a man was approaching us on a near pathway. He whipped out a phone and started to laugh and talk really amiably and loudly, whistling for his dogs etc. I really think he was doing the 'deserted woodland' equivalent of crossing the street. I suffer from a degree of anxiety and I really appreciated it.

[kali110]

BertrandRussell It's other woman who i've been threatened by in the past. ( one reason, because of my looks, another simply because she didnt like me, even though i didn't know her)
When i was in trouble, a group of men came to my aid, women just walked past me.
Certainly not saying men are innocent, i'm just more scared of a group of women!

[SomethingOnce]

Dunno about everyone else, but I live in London so there isn't really a 'dead of night' as such, but it is darker at night. And I walk around in it because sometimes the sun sets between when I go out and when I get back

[Trills]

I wouldn't leave any female I know to walk home unescorted, or not offer to get them a taxi.

I'm not going to get a taxi from the bus stop or train station to my house.

And you're not coming with me.

You think you sound chivalrous but really you just sound impractical.

[upperlimit]

Why so many ladies walking around in the dead of night alone? I'm a man. I wouldn't leave any female I know to walk home unescorted, or not offer to get them a taxi. I'm not a chauvinist.. just a realist.

Dead of night starts at about 4pm in the winter. Do you chaperone mums to collect their kids from school and pick up shopping?

[Dowser]

I think it's a lovely , caring and thoughtful thing to do.
I think my husband used to do that . Not now as he doesn't go out at dark on his own.

[SleepingTiger]

Contextualisation is everything though and each situation requires its own action.

Walking as I do daily through central London it would not be productive or fair to anyone. Cities are heaving with people.

Much worse I think to just walk on by when an incident happens, when the physical safety of a person male or female is compromised, pretend it's nothing to do with you. I see that all the time with only a few warriors rushing to lend a hand.