To cross the street when I'm walking behind a woman at night?

[HarrietFTW]

I've always done this and I thought it was the right thing to do but when I told a woman at work I did it she got all offended and upset with me.

Are you male or female?

I'm a male and quite a big one at that.

It is the right thing to do. If she's the type to get offended she may be offended by you crossing the road. But if she's had life experiences that give her good reason to be afraid, she'll be terrified if you carry on walking behind her. On balance I'd rather risk mild offence than causing fear.

No YANBU it's a great thing to do-I've had men walk up behind me and it's disconcerting even if they probably just hadn't thought anything of it!

I always really appreciate when guys do this! Thank you.

What Batteries said with bells on.

i think its the right thing to do i dont like anyone walking behind me especially at night.

I would appreciate it too!

You are right OP

It's thoughtful and considerate. Please comtinue to do it.

YANBU. It's extremely considerate. I used to have to walk under a railway bridge in a deserted area as a teenager and was always so appreciative if a male commuter dropped back on approach. I wish more men were as understanding.

I genuinely appreciate it when men do this. I find it really intimidating when they don't even if it is irrational

I appreciate it when men do this. Can you explain why she was offended and upset?

My husband is 6ft 7 and huge was a power lifter. He has tattoos and looks very intimidating although he is a gentleman

He always does this when out! He would hate to have someone intimidated because he was behind them. He does it to males as well

I love him for it!

Keep doing it

Definitely the right thing to do. What did she find offensive about it? X x

YANBU and trust me, by most women it will be very much appreciated. Thank you :)

Yes, I think it's the right thing to do.

Why did she get offended? What did she say?

Omg did not mean to put kisses. I have just been messaging my mum

What a MN faux pas

There are women who advocate very enthusiastically on behalf of poor downtrodden men...........

I also appreciate it when men do this. I'd probably be a bit confused if a woman did, but not offended.

Please ignore your colleague. She might not fear attack but many women do.

I wouldn't expect someone to do this for me. As long as you are not too close and just minding your own business that's enough for me

I too think it is very thoughtful.
there are some people who look out for ways to be offended each day - I don't think you can account for them.

I think it's one of those things you just do, rather than talk about doing. Depending on how you put it - and I wasn't there, so I don't know - it might have come across as patronising. Or she might have thought you thought she couldn't take care of herself if she needed to. Who knows, she might be a kick-boxer capable of handing your arse to you with one hand tied behind her back.

But I get the broader etiquette. I'm a guy too and I'm conscious of not walking too close behind anyone, especially at night. I live in an area where people get mugged from time to time so I'm very conscious of it.

I'd prefer it if anyone crossed over at any time of day. I hate having people walking behind me.

I think it's a polite thing to do in general. I can't imagine why she'd get offended.