To think that after 3 monkeys bumped their heads, the doctor should just ring social services?

[Soubriquet]

I mean come on, he says no more monkeys jumping on the bed and the mummy still keeps calling the doctor?

Surely she must be an irresponsible parent to let all 5 of her children jump on the bed and hurt themselves?

Dd is watching the bloody nursery rhyme program again

I have a strong suspicion that Jack Sprat was a feeder.

And as for that stupid shepherd, red sky at night obviously means your barn is on fire?

Just to say that there is very little evidence that Ring a ring of roses is about the plague.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_a_Ring_o%27_Roses

According to my DM the blackbirds were baked in a pie by Louis VII for Eleanor of Aquitaine (not himself his cooks obviously) however I don't know if this is true
However I can confirm that while no mice (blind or otherwise) have been harmed in my kitchen our cow has a disturbing habit of jumping a lot and has now been going missing at night

The blackbirds in a pie was a "grand theatre" thing to have at a big banquet - the cooks would bake a pie crust and then put live birds inside the tin with the cooked crust on top so that when the pie was cut open all the birds flew out. Thats why when the pie was opened, the birds began to sing!

AIBU to think that Tom the piper's son's family need reporting to SS and at the very least to be made to go on a parenting course? Tom stole a pig and then was beaten. Stealing is wrong but was it a cry for attention? Does he always get a beating when he does something wrong? Has anyone even tried to find out why he stole the pig and explain to him why stealing is wrong? Not fab parenting.

Ah, this brings back memories- the first YouTube video we watched on repeat. Now it's just random American adults opening toys...

Doesn't a pig going to the market mean its going to be sold and chopped? Maybe they think they're being nice in not sacrificing them all.