To think that after 3 monkeys bumped their heads, the doctor should just ring social services?

[Soubriquet]

I mean come on, he says no more monkeys jumping on the bed and the mummy still keeps calling the doctor?

Surely she must be an irresponsible parent to let all 5 of her children jump on the bed and hurt themselves?

Dd is watching the bloody nursery rhyme program again

Hush little baby - how to raise an entitled child? Let's just keep buying you useless stuff that might not work to keep you quiet.... (I'd personally demand a refund or at least know my consumer rights if I had bought a mockingbird, diamond ring, looking glass, billy goat etc.....

See this is why it's not 5 hedgehogs jumping on the bed

Five little hedgehogs jumping on the bed, stuck to the ceiling then fell on mother's head

Humpty Dumpty is nominally about Richard III.

Most nursery rhymes, like most original fairy stories have fairy horrid origins. :-)

Loving some of the rewrites!!

I thought Humpty Dumpty was about a cannon?

Remember those incompetent firemen in Trumpton - took 7 of them to remove mayor's hat from a tree and they wouldn't know a fire if it burnt their backsides.

My wee one is obsessed with that little baby bum stuff on sky. There is a fecking lion on the bus in wheels on the bus. He loves it. Oh and the potty song with the panda has a poo and he thinks it's chocolate . Concerning stuff.

5 little men in a flying saucer clearly is to do with immigration!

Rock a bye baby I think was based on European settlers seeing Native American families putting the children in trees to protect them from predators while hunting... might have it wrong though.
Ring a round the Roses is about the Plague (and its symptoms).

I never understood why you'd want to walk around a bush when its bloody freezing outside!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock-a-bye_Baby

Lmao!
Well, as they're monkeys I'd say it's pretty remarkable they are able to use the phone!

I don't have any children (yet - we're working on it!)
but I've been a nanny for 16 or more years, so I've sung my fair share of nursery rhymes.
Hardly any of them make sense, and most seem inappropriate 😀😆
I feel uneasy singing its raining it's pouring, the old man is snoring.
It's basically about a poor old soul who had a head trauma, went to sleep and became either unconscious or dead!
Why?!
Lmao x

Shouldn't mother duck try love bombing her ducklings?

Oh God my dc used to listen to this on repeat:

The voice used to have me howling with tears in my eyes. It's just the most "wtf" video on YouTube ever!

Wind the bobbin up definitely predates domestic sewing machines. It dates back to Yorkshire textile mills in the late 19th century.

Haha I feel the same about 5 little ducks went swimming one day, after one went missing you'd surely expect mother duck to be more careful! Any more than 1 and you'd expect some sort of social services intervention!!

Going off topic a bit - I think that Peppa Pig's auntie and uncle should be reported to social services. Baby Alexander probably keeps waking up in the night because he's hungry! Can't see any feeding going on. Plus the unreasonable noise in the middle of the night.

What about Dora the explorer? Surely social services should be concerned about a child being friends with a monkey and wandering around unsupervised even if she did have a map!

If Social Services met Dora the Explorer, within two minutes, they would understand why her parents cast her out into the world on her own. Because she's so bloody irritating.

I've been in contact with the Noise Abatement Society about all those bloody bells ringing - and for what?!! A measly debt of five farthings and a few citrus fruits!

...and the the Dr said, not much yet as still on hold, oh now I have the receptionist diagnosing!

Wind the bobbin is an old workhouse/ working in t' mills song, I always thought?

And why did the health visitor not query the sleeping arrangements of Rockaby Baby? That cradle was bound to fall.

Surely one kid shouldn't be left alone with 6 bloody dogs (Paw Patrol) and without any parents about.

Or walking through jungle for long enough to find a tiger... (The nursery rhyme)

Mary had a little sheep,
And with her sheep she went to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram --
Mary had a little lamb.