To think that after 3 monkeys bumped their heads, the doctor should just ring social services?

[Soubriquet]

I mean come on, he says no more monkeys jumping on the bed and the mummy still keeps calling the doctor?

Surely she must be an irresponsible parent to let all 5 of her children jump on the bed and hurt themselves?

Dd is watching the bloody nursery rhyme program again

Yeah, you'd think after having one child requiring medical attention, maybe two at a push, that mommy monkey would start being a bit stricter on the whole bed jumping thing.

And five little ducks? Same thing, mother duck doesn't seem to give a shit that she's losing her kids. Why is she only sad when they're all gone? Was the last one the golden child? Did she not mind as long as she has one?

Ten fat sausages - seriously, you either have bought some weirdly explosive sausages or you need to take a look at your cooking skills.

Rock a bye baby - WHY HAVE YOU PUT THE CRADLE IN A FUCKING TREE, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

What kind of farm did Old MacDonald have?

Should the authorities be told? The ones we created became a nightmare of lions, dogs, cats, cows, hyenas!!

Jill got whipped and apparently their mother thought vinegar and brown paper was an appropriate treatment for potential concussion so SS should definitely have been involved there...

I say the to DH every time!

Wind the bobbin up is about children working in the cotton mills.

Little Miss Polly wasting the time of the NHS manages to get a Dr to call over that doll of hers. She must have contacts. The Dr is always she in this house.
I've also flipped Lavender's blue king and queen around from time to time as it makes the singer sound a bit too needy!

First of all the monkeys and Polly have the same GP.

Second, getting back to the OP (tsk), you are not factoring in just how cheeky the monkeys are.

and who puts 10 children in one little bed surely if you cant afford ten beds you shouldnt have ten children?

I always thought the doctor was the little monkeys dad and the mum was calling him at work to tell him ?!!
It's a firm favourite in this house. "No more monkeys jumping on the bed" must be shouted too 🙈

or for that matter leaving ten green bottles on the wall is surely asking for trouble?

Do you think the DR was in fact DR Foster who had just come back from Gloucester and was a bit distracted with having wet clothes?

That could be it x2boys

It's dr foster in dripping wet clothes getting fucked off becauses he's called out every 5 minutes for dolls and naughty monkeys when all he wants is a bath and a cup of tea

What about mother duck?
She went out with five of them and by the end of the week she'd lost the lot. Her supervision seems to be limited to a disinterested 'quack quack quack quack' and she made no attempt to prevent them for wandering off.
Quite neglectful I'd say.

Well I'm worried about our cat because it's gone off with a bloody owl in a pea-green boat

What about that old woman in the shoe. Didn't she know that contraception is free with the NHS? Mind you I think these days she would have her own reality TV show.

I want to know what bastard keeps shaking the biscuit tin. Stop it already because I don't want a tin full of broken biscuits!

And leave the jelly alone. It wobbles well done, now put the plate down before you drop it and it's wibble wobbling on the floor. Cretin.

It's dr foster in dripping wet clothes getting fucked off becauses he's called out every 5 minutes for dolls and naughty monkeys when all he wants is a bath and a cup of tea

The poor Doctor. When he finally does get home he'll find the biscuits are broken and the tea is cold because Suki took the kettle off.

What about that old woman in the shoe. Didn't she know that contraception is free with the NHS? Mind you I think these days she would have her own reality TV show.

Anyway she wouldn't be living in a shoe now. She'd get a free house, massive TV and a goat.

Do you think poor Mother Hubbard would be eligible for the food bank these days to feed her and her dog?

Well the bobbin story is a bit depressing but thanks. I sing the bloody thing 20 times a day at work.

Mother duck is quite true to life, though. The number of ducklings a duck has decreases daily, from my experience. Moorhens are much better parents.

Mrs Monkey and the Dr are obviously having an affair, why else would he keep making instant housecalls for a "bumped head" while she keeps letting the monkey children bounce all the time?
I bet the Dr already has his coat on before that days phonecall even happens :D

the Drs far to busy to see to dolls and monkeys what about the poor old lady who swallowed a fly if he doesnt go to her soon pr,haps she,ll die?

I always think that about house calls!