To think that after 3 monkeys bumped their heads, the doctor should just ring social services?

[Soubriquet]

I mean come on, he says no more monkeys jumping on the bed and the mummy still keeps calling the doctor?

Surely she must be an irresponsible parent to let all 5 of her children jump on the bed and hurt themselves?

Dd is watching the bloody nursery rhyme program again

In the last verse the doctor tels the mum to put the monkeys straight to bed at our play group. I always tell DD that he's wrong as they may have concussion.

and polly must be really fucked off with suki everygod damn time she puts the kettle for a nice cup of tea suki takes it off again!

And how about that Bo Peep?

How can she lose her sheep all the time? I doubt they would come home either. They would be like freeeedom!

Why do they let the king's horses try and put Humpty Dumpty back together? Surely that just makes it worse.

I have found that two or more monkeys jumping on the bed necessitates a new bed. You'd never get up to five with there still being a bed there to jump on.

Butt out OP. Not your circus, not your monkeys

Ooo touché Bit

I'm jealous of the sleeping bunnies. Sound asleep till nearly noon every day. Bliss.

I can't believe noone else had said it! Or told you to stop judging someone else's parenting when you don't know what's going on in their lives

Also, why the hell would I sing a song of sixpence? That coin's been out of circulation for 40 years, it's bloody useless.

And how DO you hang a bottle on a wall? Surely that's the least convenient way of storing bottles?

The doctor probably has rung Social Services but we all know that they are so stretched that as long as the monkeys are fed and clean, they won't investigate. There is no report that the monkeys are bouncing on a squalid bed that has no sheets on it anyway.

Still perhaps best to log it with 101.

And that bakers needs to work on it's pricing strategy. Why the hell would you buy one hot cross bun for a penny when you could buy two for a penny?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to " fetch a pail of water" (that's what the young people call it these days)
Jill forgot to take her pill,
And now they have a daughter!

Little Boy Blue is obviously off gallivanting with Little Bo Peep.

In the version of five little monkeys I saw the other day it got down to 'no little monkeys' were jumping on the bed so the Dr rang the mother and told her to get them jumping again!!

They're Obviously in a country without the NHS and he's making a fortune from all these out of hours calls.

I can't believe there hasn't been police intervention for that goosey forcing that old man into religion. Not to mention the assault when she threw him down the stairs!!

Omg I have not laughed so much in ages 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂PMSL

DS really likes the Halloween versions so werewolves jumping in trees etc. Or he makes his own versions about everything and anything...

Same Baker that sells the 5 current buns Shelaghturner. I might send the kids in to Greggs with a penny & see what happens.

That poor teapot's anorexic now, the years of being called short & stout have taken its toll.

What's with the lady at Banbury cross with all the bling? She sounds more like Kim Kardashian than a fine lady.

I never sang wind the bobbin up with DD again after I realised she wasn't singing Pull, pull, clap, clap, clap - but Poo, Poo, crap, crap, crap!!

So whenever I hear it now it makes me giggle!

The baker needs to keep his prick well away from my baby's cake as well.
Just because I asked him to make it as fast as possible and didn't say please, there's no need for that.
Dirty bastard.
I'm getting onto the council about him and see how he likes his food hygiene certificate rating then

We used to have "point to the ceiling, point to the floor, point to the penis, point to the door"

I prefer the dinosaur version...
"There's a dinosaur!
There's a dinosaur!
Look, look..
RUN RUN RUN!
There's one on the ceiling,
there's one on the floor..... etc etc"

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky-panky.
Jack and Jill forgot the pill*
and now there's little Frankie.

*amended to share the blame