To think that after 3 monkeys bumped their heads, the doctor should just ring social services?

[Soubriquet]

I mean come on, he says no more monkeys jumping on the bed and the mummy still keeps calling the doctor?

Surely she must be an irresponsible parent to let all 5 of her children jump on the bed and hurt themselves?

Dd is watching the bloody nursery rhyme program again

What the fuck is wind the bobbin about. One of you must know.

I know this!!

We went to Chatham Docks last year and they told us it was a singing working song for throne making the ropes for the boats. As it was mostly young children, it was to remind them how to do it properly. You wind the bobbin up twice, then wind it back again twice. Then with the rope around your forearm, you point to the ceiling, floor, window and door. When done, put your hands on your knees and start again!

what about London Bridge? They need to get the surveyors in and do something as it's always falling down and all they do is fix it up with utter crap instead of doing the job properly 😁😁

Health and safely would have something to say about Jack continually jumping over the candlestick.

I bet OFSTED would have something to say about Mary's lamb.

Wasn't humpty dumpty a bomb?

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor doggie a bone. When she got there, the cupboard was full because she just had a delivery from Ocado.

Three visually impaired mice, three visually impaired mice. See how they run, see how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife, who handed them over to the RSPCA.

Bobby Shaftoe? LTB.

Love this thread!

Wee Willie Winkie. Plainly another failure of the Care in the Community programme. Running around town shouting in his pyjamas.

Bobby Shaftoe? LTB.
He'd be a better catch than that rapey bd georgie porgie

London Bridge is undergoing planned engineering works. Please wait for further announcements.

poor old johnnie working for a penny a day because he cant work any faster surely he should be entitled to NMW? how can he feed a family on a penny a day?

Blah Blah Ukip Have you any policies
Yes Sir Yes Sir... three manifestos full
One for for the Tories to get the right wing vote
One for the lefties to con the working class into thinking we are bothered with them
And one to change constantly because we rely on mythical poilitcal correctness stories.

And has anyone phoned the RSPCA to report the farmer's wife for cutting off the tails of the 3 mice with a carving knife? That's just brutal. And the poor little buggers were blind so couldn't have seen the threat to their tails coming! OK you might not want mice around the place, that I can understand, but has she not heard of humane traps? Bastard.

We have a book of nursery rhymes, and some of the lyrics to London Bridge really piss me off...
"Build it up with iron and steel etc etc"
"Iron and steel will bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow...etc"

No it fucking shouldn't! Not beyond an acceptable margin anyway, as long as you design it properly and select the appropriate grade of steel!
www.steelconstruction.info/Bridges

FunnyFarmer glad it's not just me who is concerned about those mice.

Seriously some of you have got way too much time on your hands! I suppose none of you tell your kids any of these nursery rhymes then?

Miss Muffet wants to go on one of those special courses in London Zoo if you ask me.
Silly mare.

Squishy

You sound very passionate about.... steel

The three men rub a dub dubbing in a tub might be relieved that homosexuality is now legal.

The Runaway Train has been cancelled, but there is a runaway replacement bus service

Georgie Porgie! Someone needs to have a word with that boy going about kissing girls and making them cry! Harassment I tell you!

No linsey. We don't tolerate any whimsy in this house! We sing along to factual things only, like the full legislation that covers the UK Working at Height Regulations of 2005. Toddlers love it.

Plenty of people on MN would be pointing 'Little' Jack Horner's mum in the direction of a practice nurse and a diet sheet.
It's tantamount to child abuse dontchaknow